Done first tasmi' & being bold by posting on youtube.

Writing this now because I'm think I just wanna rest when I get home. Kk. Currently in the car with mom & dad. Just finish ziarah with mom's friend. Actually her ex-naqibah. Basically she want to see my disability as her role as a matchmaker. I'm not fan of the idea. But rather than the scammer tiktok guy, I have not much excuse for this. Do I really not want to be married? I don't know. 

This morning, finished with darussyifa' tasmi' Alhamdulillah. I. Was. Nervous. When it was time for me to started to recite. By now, I know the fear is because of shaming, critising I got during recitating & tasmi' Qu'ran when I was little. It is what it is. And I'm slowly learning to heal it. H ask for ice cream date for celebratory. We went to Mixue. A first for me. Alhamdulillah it was a nice sibling date. H seems happy. 

Yesterday had locum. Oh and the biggest BIGGEST thing I did is recording myself & posting it on Youtube. I did not expect my plan for vision board gonna go like this, but well keeping the goal, I need a simple system. Me just random talk then post it to Youtube, menumpang a space, facing head on my fears in this scary internet world. In my brain, no one looking at it. No one who I care looks at it, so okay la. And it's to practice my story telling skills. It's interesting to see, assess my talkings. Let's hope I don't say something dumb. 

Also, a cafe date after Friday lunch call. First to celsius coffee. Huhu. I don't enjoy the matcha anymore. Hmm. This week's bold decisions I took because I remind myself of my vision board. 

Hoping Allah protecting me through all,

TGiaH

Trip to Brunei (and things to do)

Today is such a rest day after 2 travel day and also my heavy period day. Alhamdulillah, I get to rest. My trip to Brunei has been wonders. I have to say my friend is such a star. She bought me so much energy and I think instead of me actually being there to kinda look out for her, I am the one that got thru my own butterfly evolution stage. I wouldn't say stage but more of side. I have this chatterbox side. I really I'm not sure why my boldness and how I'm reverting my old personality, but I am trying to consciously aware of it while trying to let it loose a little.

One before the trip, my bag arrived in time!! And it is definitely quite the perfect beg for travel. Alhamdulillah. Also to note I did decide to go on a face spa sesh and fast the Thursday. This time the trip, I'm such last minute to airport person. Haha. Please, don't do it. Anyhow, I can't believe I have to Brunei ahh and I love it. Majorly, I have to say my friend plays a big part. If you have a Bruneian friend, the people are of big heart. So similarly to Malaysia but still different. I have to say a bit of pekan-styled Malaysia and I see differents variants in the food texture and taste. For a foodie like me, still yum! 

The places we go to:

Temu Kianggih - comparing the kuih, I like it.

Masjid Omar Ali Saifudden and the surrounding area (interesting to see the city centre)

Empire Hotel (do get the kek batik)

Masjid Ash-Shaliheen - reminds me of one of the miqat place

Masjid Jamal as-Asr Hassiah Balkiah - Ma Shaa Allah gorgeous

Aminah Arif - eating Ambuyat 'berlauk'

Temburong - reminds me of Kedah. Haha.

We also went to De House, sushi at Escapade (udon!), Supersave (reminds me of Jaya Grocer), visiting my friend's workplace area. Ohh and the kebabb. Seriously, finger linking. All of all, as a Malaysian I enjoyed the trip. And as I went for 2 days and a night, it left me the right amount to In Shaa Allah, I want to visit again. 

I have more to my week, but for my body I have to go bed. Alhamdulillah for the rezqi.

Again with +1,

TGiaH

Bag craze + scammer.

*stretching my fingers* Just let's get on with this. Basically this week to summarise I was on a bag craze. I think sunday evening I watched Oh No Nina youtube on "What's in My Bag". I don't know what came over me after not watching her for so long, I find her fascinating? Nerd but also normal, also so honestly herself. The problem is the Samo Ondoh Utility Bag in Napa Ivory. Ughh. It's pretty. And it my brain I kinda want a travel bag to the airport. And also an casual bag but also can double as everything bag ie work bag. Ughh. Basically and all in one because I hate having many belongings. Also, I want a leather high quality bag that I can used for long (unfortunately the brand is PU leather). 

After my appointment on Tuesday (where the doctors are nice except I do feel a bit rejected for me wanting botox), I stopped by IOI before work, looking into Dr Cardin Cleo Bag. The dupe looks so nice online. But after trying it on, I have to say I don't feel like I want it. It took me a bit of courage to not people please and buy the bag as I want to please and help the sales girl. But also, my plan is to  to see all the colours and to confirm if I really see if I want it. The main reason is because the colours and texture makes it look cheap (plastic-ky) and tacky. Also, another reason I stopped by IOI is was I kinda wanted sushi but arriving there I look at the sushi and was like um I don't feel like it. I ended up defeated with the smell Rotiboy smell's. Alhamdulillah yum despite the sales girl is a bit grumpy. 

The next day, I took a half day at work, so I went to lunch at IOI. I had a nice solo Japanese lunch at Ichiban Ramen. I love the concept taking off my shoes & sitting Japanese style. The ramen was yum except the chicken slice was a bit dry. The broth was less rich than Seirokya but for me I think it's okay, because finishing the bowl I wasn't so sick of the broth. Maybe a 1.2 richer broth might be nice? But for the prize point with all this rising prize in economy (and Seirokya is slightly more expensive), I'm satisfied. I rate it an 8/10. Then, I went to look around at the mall. Sadly, there was no. Literally I don't feel attracted to purchase any bags. It's just not what I wanted. 

Back at home, eventhough I thought oh no bags for me I guess. I literally search the Samo Ondoh bag. I was eyeing the Vintage Brown one. I did kinda took a plunge on Thursday despite my lack of research because I spent too much time already. But then found out that the series fell apart so easier which for the price point which I only fit for me to purchase a leather one. Nope. So I cancel within I few hours after I ordered which the seller was pissed off with me. I wanted to reorder as the Brushed Chocolate one but now I'm kinda scared of the seller. Also, rethinking my life decision with ughh is so not worth it spending money for a cheap material. I really tried to find a dupe. But after much effort, I didn't find the similar dupe that I feel I want to buy. So.. I really I end up ordering a dupe which is so similar to the original one but from China. I don't prefer it, but.. I'm sorry. It's the best of the situation. I even searched leather products but still failed. I'm kinda praying I get it before I fly next week but we'll see. 

I had work on Friday evening, which the corrections came ahh I don't wanna do it. Then locum today which where my mom ask about this guy if I wanna get to know him whom he is literally 40 and sounds like a legit scammer after I think about the details. Aiyoo. Ibu. Absolute no from me. Don't be so worried until you at the point you become blind and desperate. But Allah please protect my family from all evils, let me properly work on myself and make my mom less worried and content? Please.. Aamiin. And clean my bathroom yesterday using Pink Stuff and put in the Japanese Blue Flush Toilet thingy. It makes me feel good having a clean bathroom. All in all, Alhamdulillah for the week.

Thinking of good things,

TGiaH 

Hellooo February.

Oi youu. Who said that blogging every week is easy. I for a fact literally procrastinated since 2pm and it's almost 6 thirty. Kyaaa. Lazy bum. Anyhow, the thing about doing something is literally just starting. Then, it's a done deal. It is true the struggles of the mental battle. Anyhow, I'm here andd I'm grateful for that. I finished quite a lot of things today, like going on a one hour walk, finish my MPDP plan, and umm ohhh I did an attempt of 3 morning pages (except it was already 11). Had a little story telling bit going on there I would say. Even in blogging I would say, I am still never missing writing out. How much more credit do I gie myself for being soo consistent. 2015 right is when I started writing and now? It's literally 2025 duh. And do I give myself credit? So little. I'm trying here okay. Hey you, I'm proud of you for sticking through, being there for yourself, never not turn up for yourself. Damn you, I'm proud. Also, all the other things. Waking up for tahajud&/istikharah(2018), pre-fajr (2014) reading the Qu'ran (2016), dhuha prayers (2012), journalling (2021). I really do stick to myself. Alhamdulillah. Prayers for me to be consistent until my last breath In Shaa Allah. Aamiin. 

Okay. This week I've got 4 days off due to CNY. Other than spending time with family, I majorly did sleep paydebt. I think I overpaid my debt from what it is. And it's okay (it's not. Lol.). I am behind my cleaning schedule but it is what it is. Even now, I'm now thinking after this I wanna work though cleaning my drawer is something I need to do first. Which no worries, I am gonna do. Ooo. Speaking of family time, skycity on CNY? The 4 hours queue? Not worth it. Nu-uh. Haha. Sorryy. We also did steamboat/bbq night on  Friday. This time with S but H got classes so still one less family member. And then she back to uni. There times go. 

Another update, I chopped my hair by myself on a very rushed time. It's good and cute. For the fact, I saved RM30. Haha. Except then I spent RM47 on Dolly Dim Sum. Why the friend rice not as good. Hmm. Seriously counter effect of 'saving money'. Aiyaya. I need to shop today. 2.2 mahh. But lazy mahh. Don't wanna shop. Haha. I hope this side of me won't get any my usual readers by surprise (if I got any). Probably next week, I'll do the vision board. After I got this cleaning down. Bismillah.

4 days, aiyoyo.

TGiaH

Just a bag of emotions//layered haircut, hopefully.

I just watched a short on Israel hostages being released. Allahu. How happy and well kept, thanking for treating them so well while they were hostages. My eyes are watery. The Palestinian deserves the same. Allah. Before then I watched Mrs Harris Goes to Paris. I have to be honest I paused at a scene where I taught she's gonna be manipulated because of her innocence. I hated to think in my mind I don't wanna watch a woman who's not smart for herself. Simply, I was wrong. The story continues with kindness and my eyes turn watery when everyone welcomed at the measuring room. Despite the innocence, I kinda don't wanna buy into that. But the thought of being celebrated and deserving something so well made. Ahh. Will one day I have that amount of selfish/love to celebrate myself like that?

I finally got a day in yesterday. Finished XO Kitty. Eeee. Sorry, I become a kid again. Haha. It's okay. It's okay to have that side. Mainly MinHo and Kitty, while the I love the friendship from all the cast. I disliked the same gender likeness it's promoting. Ughh. I concernly worry about the next gen. Even my gen, tbh. 2 close people are married this week. One my foster cousin on Friday, N. And another one is F, where she in her buziness of nikah she shared her live. Ahhhh. Fan girl scream. Alhamdulillah. I don't know how the obstacle for their marriage life but I truly pray for Allah to make it easy for them. Aamiin. Also this week I read one of my friend's blog, I have to say ahh thank you for showing the side of marriage and another side of you. Nobody does that much, making me feel I'm in a bubble. Huhu.

After this I got a spa date with F. Alhamdulillah for this. It's says BFF package, I never know if we are but I'm grateful enough for have a constant solid friend like her. I'm gonna chop my hair off. A layered cut I hope. Andd just to say yesterday I bought a tube of Ilao Ilao on shopee food. I'm trying to not be guilty of this, but I really really wanted Ilao Ilao. And that's okay. This week I've tried a bit of minimal makeup for with glasses. The only reason, I 'rajin' cause it's school holiday (so got the extra time) and I was on my period. Next week, back to old me. It is nice the feeling of more put together. 

I'm still a little late on the 2025 bandwagon but it's okay, next week I'm facing the real deal. 4 days without my parents at home.. Anything but Allah's protection. Okay la, I really need to go.

Ikigai,

TGiaH

Turning back time (to school era)

8.51pm. Sunday night. Blogging as usual. Ahh. It's past mid month alreadyy. Alhamdulillah I'm enjoying this week. I don't really know how to sort out my writing unless it's in day order so yeah. Week recap let's go.

Monday - I went early to ds as I try to keep up my promise andd did somewhat murajaah-tasmik for the first part. Haha. Eventhough, I'm used to it I don't connect the duas with what it's for (the name of the doa). *ahh btw my laptop lighting changes every few seconds from dim to dimmer then dim back, it's a bit weird + eye sore/boggling (?) and I'm just grateful Alhamdulillah I still have this 10 years old laptop* I learned that my friend is actually a single mother. Also hearing about another classmate and her difficulties, I'm just grateful for mine. Huhu. Then, post class an matcha ice cream date with H. Sibs date!

Tuesday - I was able to afford coming early to ds + post class ice cream, as I decide to take cr for this day. Andd it's my bros, I birthday. Hehe. I pretty much rested in, colour, streches but I was so I don't wanna go out of the house butt for the cake I did. Mamasab choco cake. Yummy but I still prefer the cheese topping over this one. Reaching there, I didn't regret going out cause I was able to grab chili oil (for a must have dip sauce) and got to explore diplomatic. I liked it. My dear mom bought and hotpot-grill set and that is what we did for I's birthday. I think she like the vibes from where I bought my fam to Seoul Garden so yeah this is our seoul garden home. The celebration started early but funny we were full so quickly so guess our dinner for the next few days are. Still not complains.

Saturday - I got locum thenn I had this urge for makeup shop. Actually I wanted a matte eye shadow and try to see for any contours/bronzers if I liked. In the end, I got to catrice magic shadow (RM18), it's decent. The one is I didn't know the highlighter were shimmery so yeah no matte eye shadow. Bought silkygirl setting spray (I wanted to try) & makeup remover (mine was near finish). I spent 30 minutes thinking over. Haha. Anyhow, I'm glad I celebrated my impulse to go buy the things I want. Alhamdulillah. A littlleee bit rush when I got back home. Gone out the house at 7.10 ish. My hijab, looks was not perfect but it's okay to look beshe2 as it was a back to school theme. I can't be bothered to buy new school clothes (spend money nu-uh) or wear used ones (too much like a kid+too much hassle), so yeah I become a school teacher it is. Almost forgot my name tag. I loved the night though last week was much fun. I did not expect we had to do the whole negaraku and ikrar. Haha. I didn't get the grand lucky draw but Alhamdulillah with dua nabi Musa and istikharah, I got a salad spinner for my fam can use to dry out the salad (nasi arab dulang). Alhamdullillah not wasteful. The food the highlight for me definitely the strawberry fountain chocolate dip. Hehe. Sorry. My work friend bought her uni-mate who happens to be Syrian. Ahh. Somehow before it ends, we have a conversation which was unexpected and nice. Haha. Alhamdulillah.

I guess this pretty much decent enough for this week's post. 

So yeah, negaraku~

TGiaH

Different set of eyes.

I had a fun week. Ceh. After having fun last night at pkd's dinner, from a fun night terus week. Haha. But that how I currently feel. Amazing but scary too how the mind extrapolates things. Fuhh. Things are serious in the ajk group for ds. Ahh. But it's okay, probably Allah saying me to take serious and be commited to this. I am honestly half commited, but yeah knowing myself I will In Shaa Allah, attend all the classes & tasmi'. Hmm. Just not the tajwid classes, though I would love too I need rest. This week I fail to sleep early at 10, basically my sleep is 12ish or 11ish. Despite listening to the sleep podcast on Diary of a CEO. Indeed applied knowledge is a challenge I need to beat. 

Mon-ds class.

Weds-kswp.

Fri-i pretty much sleep the afternoon (pm off)>>sleep at 12.

Sat-gala dinner.

Also, it's okay too as I'm also incoporating a night time journal plus shadow work. Just I need to strictly cut out my screen time after it. I got a goddamn kobo kot. Even now at locum, I'm thinking of snuggling in bed with my kobo, but in reality I'm more on my phone la. Haiyaa. Tonight is another attempt. 

This week, with new glasses to work. Haha. I didn't expect A (prp L), was the one to notice first. The a few through the week. The first few days, I struggle as I felt I was not as pretty as when I was with my old specs. My new specs at home was fine, but with the hijab on, I felt it made my hijab kembang and not flattering. But I said to myself in the mirror, you are pretty, cute and nerdy regardless. By thursday-ish, I was feeling myself again. Still regaining. I look younger & harry potter like right with this new me. Kk. 

While, yesterday is gala dinner. All out with my super duper precious and white satin shawl which I never would wear anywhere else. Proper moderate makeup. Basically the foundation is the same, just changes in double oiling & trying to eye makeup with new brushes. The shiseido eyelash curler, does not do much but just the cutest tiniest slight curl which does not make much difference, but I like it as if I'm paying attention to detail of myself, a different kind of I care about you, S. Hmm. With the affirmations in the back, I felt yes, I'm good. 

The dinner was definitely a blast, half of my coworkers really dolled up which wow. Pretty much other staffs all out as well. Some are very minimal, while me in the middle. Kk. Everyone look so pretty. Though can't deny the minimals and naturals definitely caught my eyes more. Allah created so much beauty. The clothes, dazzling. Since we were so dazzling, taking photos are such fun part of the night. The food selection wide, with lamb! The star is the magic show. Certainly an eye fixater. While my rezqi for lucky draw is a neck pillow, the ones the won the fridge and dryer. Ma Shaa Allah, such a rezqi. I did pray the dua of prophet Musa and istikharah, so I know the neck pillow is something I need and best for me. Hi, travel companion!

Btw, I'm at locum with my contact lens. And weirdly today is the day people who knew me came. Uni friend - cousin - my mother's friend.

Glasses to lenses,

TGiaH