Sick in Ramadhan

Writing this 15 minutes near to iftar. I got sick. The thing is this week been a dream, had 2 days off then Ramadhan starts (tarawikh starts at the night of the 2nd day off), school holiday so the drive way is clear, Friday lunch call so I get to go home early, so everything is so nice but by Allah's plan I'm sick. I doubted I was sick. I was feeling tired, muscle aches, dry throat but my throat is sore too, so I was confused, this Ramadhan hitting hard? Then yesterday otw to family big iftar, I felt the nasal pressure. So yeah I'm sick. With slight fever. 

I'm teaching myself to navigate this sickness (likely viral infection) with compassion. It's okay, put a halt to jemaah tarawikh. I'm allow to pray alone, if it means extra rest. Big goals and it's always been that way. But I thought to myself with all the specifics ibadah, my work is my biggest ibadah that I need to prioritise, so I try to rest really. On juz 9.

One of the most grateful thing, being able to decide to purchase a new laptop (so new keyboards, a bit of getting use to). My original laptop since 2014. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

7.24pm (maghrib 7.28pm)

TGiaH

Arghhh

Haha. I just finished my 2026 vision board. Reminder to myself please limit the photos you choose. Started on my laptop at 6 and now it's 2 minutes to 9. And funnily I decide my word of the year is intentional. Not intention but intentional. And yeah, as always applies to everything. Intentional with my solat, my rest, my time, how I wanna invest my connections, in what I eat, do, plan. So yeah, what I just overdid with my time is not intentional. Huhu. 

I kinda wanna list my word of the years because I forgot, so hopefully the first 2 years I'm right.

2022: Explore

2023: Invest

2024: Clean

2025: Bold

2026: Intentional

This weekend is pizza weekend and note yesterday I did a full afternoon binge (I though I deserved it, but now I'm regretting not doing my visual board earlier). The binge is Hero Without Class/Classless, I like stories revolving hard working characters who smart enough in their success and humble. So yeah, I binged it. Except the uncomfortable concept in the series. Ughh. Also another highlight is yesterday wedding got living fishes in the flower vase. Haha. Another neighbour marrying a neighbour. And I submitted my RVD EchoTraining logbook. Did pilates & bowling (it's been so longg). Bought my bro's dadih as jamuan. Alhamdulillah, rezeki for him. I also created a infaq poster for him using gemini this morning because I thought I had time. Lol. So not true. I should've done my vision board. Ended up spending 3 hours on that too.

Ramadhan's comingg,

TGiaH

Chilling about fate, trying my best while not knowing what's best

So yeah, Wednesday come. After taking a wrong turn, we arrived at the cybercafé at 11am (parking is freee). Then 8 minutes before, error page came. Haha. It was back at 2 minutes to 12. But no click button until 12.20, I should've recorded the screen. Haha. Had problem with the click button because it will scroll to other states, huh. I managed to click Johor but did not passed the verification button at the next page. It got stuck then appear some half pop-up kuota penuh, so back button left with Sabah & Sarawak. In a split thought, Sabah it is. My reaction? Okay. Haha. No disappointment or anything. But to say, poor my friend I. She's got stuck at until 12.03pm and only Sarawak is left. Told my family, my family reaction was devastated. My dad said this is what he feared..

The next reasonable step is submitting an appeal. It took me hours long to construct the letter, despite even using chatgpt. It did not cut the time. I submit the appeal yesterday, resubmit it just now as there's no confirmation submission email. Aiyaa. That's basic procedure. Anyhow biznillah Allah will give me the best in all worlds. I did my RVDMTAC echotraining presentation on Friday. Fuhh. The slight bit of roller coaster this week. Yesterday was jam pack with weddings. I got my period yesterday too. I send of my dad to the airport this morning & our neighbourhood had an open day which is fun with the stalls, animals, fire fighter. I'm not going the evening pilates, even though the idea feels so good & my body feels good as chatgpt reminded me I'm on my early period. Hmm. So.. Now that's left is tidying & reset for the week. 

Let's rest,

TGiaH

What's my fate?

I'm feeling a little lost, a little scared as my mind absorbs that this life is a just a tiny part of the length of time of actual life. I don't know what's on my mind. I am. Lost. With this upcoming placement war race, I can't help but feel like what I'm supposed to do? I want the new place to be gentle, kind, healthy for me, but I also want growth. I also want safe, for my family, for myself to work long long years ahead. I.. 

I've been busy over the weekend. Weddings, family, staff farewell. And I may or may not say a thing that I regret. Recording an unboxing, it slip out my tongue, making the gift less sincere. I went to the Dr's, regretted I didn't took the advantage of medical support for placement. All I know is I finished my report, slides and just a little left of my logbook. My 2026 vision board, I guess it's put aside, again. 

Doing the right thing or supposed thing, without eating up by guilt. Like I feel I should go to ds, as it's public holiday today & this upcoming Wednesday is a big thing.. But I feel like staring at the wall, deep in my thoughts, my world.

What should I do?

TGiaH