Am I beautiful? Am I cute? aka Building Self Confidence.

For the last few years, I started to accept that I might be considered pretty too, to the society I mean. Tbh, I used to think I'm not beautiful but over the years I start to notice hey I'm not that bad. I have some good features. I have nice eyebrows, nose and smile (based on compliments I received). Not to say I'm showing off or cocky but this post is to encourage me to always be grateful for how Allah has created my looks and appreciate as it is. Alhamdulillah.

So here are a list of compliments I received:

I think you are pretty because you have a pointed nose. - My roommate (Lol. This is quite funny though because it's normal in countries other than Southeast Asia, China, Korea & Japan).

I can't stop looking at your brows. There are like drawn in (like a painting). - My cousin.

I love seeing your smile! - My CFS roommate.

Your sister is so pretty. I can't wait to see you when you grow up! - My sister's friend to my sister.

Akakkk. Do you know that U said he wants to give you choki-choki because akak is cute. - A six year old (But comon it's cuttteeee. My heart went awww at that time).

I'm thankful for the little comments for giving me a boost of self-confidence. May Allah bless. 

Anddd. My losing weight is worth ittt. My shape is much better nowww. The one thing I love is I lose my arm fat (which I didn't notice I gained) and I'm still satisfied with my figure. Anyhow, I need to still have to worry about my bottom issue but it's what Allah gives right So I still have to be grateful.

I am beautiful (hopefully both inside out),

TGiaH

2020 Goals.

A little life update. So somehow I got a short job for 2 weeks (now I'm in my semester break) which I so so grateful because I could save more money and tbh I was a little bored staying at home. Although I was productive during 1st week of my break with going to my lil siblings school, driving lessons, baking, having a friend coming over (whose getting married soon In Sha Allah), organising the kitchen. See! I'm very productive. Lol. I guess this comes when you don't have drama-movie marathon/bingeing as your hobby.

I'm writing on the table in my room (funny story it used to be the dining table for the kitchen before my mom decided to move it to my room whicccch I protested so much, never really used it because it used to have so much stuff, now cleared since I organised last summer holiday) which feels a little weird. However, woahh. I'm surprised already I typed out this much. I was planning to wrote some other stuffs but now I'm changing my mind to write this first.

Basically my 2020 resolutions, goals are the same as last with a few little tweaks. However, my main focus is financial side. I learned much from family financial situation, the mistake my father made in financial terms and me graduating soon. I need need really need to step my financial game. And Alhamdulillah, nowadays it's so easy just Google up and tons of articles are already there. Interestingly, I used to read financial books when I was in primary school probably still 9 which is young. 

Throughout my school period I my mind set, save up for uni, it's okay to starve a little now you can have a comfortable life in uni and life will sort out itself after uni. Haha. That's not the case though. I still have to save a lot which I think Alhamdulillah because of the habit I have I don't spend much (except of my once business). Still, it's a learning process and it's okay to make mistakes. So yeah.

Regarding my family debts, it's worrisome. Yeah, sometimes you don't know that someday you might lose your house (It's scarrry). Havng people pressing you constantly for money. Living in debts is something I hoped I don't have to go through. In fact sometimes, I think living here in this room for next 10 years still it's wonderful. I still have a small space to setup a mini kitchen if I want to. Lol. This room is really is spacious which Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah I'm grateful for.

Anyhow, I should stop here and start writing my next post. (Also, I need to go to sleep soon because I'll be working tomorrow.) Bye!

Please make best prayers for family & I. Thank you.

TGiaH

Listening to podcast, feeling weird.

Just a few minutes ago, I was listening to a podcast (Suefficient Answers - Mikaeel Smith from Qalam), because I don't wanna be hearing my roommates discussing their answers for PT. Haha.
The end part had a little Q&A. I was listening to it and it felt familiar? Which is weird because I can't recall being in a similar situation attending a talk in English with a private Q&A. Or was it because the jokes are so deja vu. I don't know. Maybe a missing memory but I don't think that's it either.

Anyhow, that's all. Lol.

Just some thoughts,

TGiaH

Tears..

Assalamualaikum, new year. Hope we'll be good friends okay?

I did have some ideas to blog but I ended up postponing it. Well... It's exam season. I'm doing fairly good I think. Same routine what so ever. I haven't properly plan my new year resolution but I'll try to do it in my next post.

A week ago (or a few more days before that). I watched a video on Youtube before I went to sleep (mind you, all covered in blanket and all). It was a video on meeting Allah in Jannah. How the angels will call you, the meeting and all. I. Me. Ball my eyes out. Literally. I'm really thankful that I have Allah, my constant, throughout all my life he's always there and the thought that perhaps perhaps one day I can meet with my Creator. I can't imagine how great it must be.

But I know I don't deserve it. I know it's too much to ask. I felt sad thinking about with my all faults and sins will I ever get to meet him one day. I made doa in my bed crying hoping I'll sleep. Then I thought I should get up, I have so many faults I have to get up and at least pray. My lazy side said go to sleep but my heart was telling how much a hypocrite I am for crying upon the thought of meeting my Rabb but now I'm too lazy to pray solat to ask forgiveness from Allah to forgive all my sins?

So I got up and prayed. Obviously I cried more. But at least I said to myself trying is better than nothing, right.

Thank you Allah,

TGiaH