I don't wanna go to work.. A new year.

Writing this on a saturday, so perhaps I have the sunday off. I am drinking matcha (I wish it is a bit sweeter), hoping to get me in work mode. I'm still yet to figure out how I am to be my digital assets, while juggling a full time job, a 1 year commited study and having part time job. I feel dumb enough to question why I feel burnout when reality I am doing much. Also, the emotional burden from the ME, it's not something to be taken lightly. I am going through life as life is. Just, having a full day home like yesterday is such a blessing. Alhamdulillah for maal hijrah. I just want one more day off..

I feel like I forgot what I did this week, so yeah. I guess that's all.

A new year,

TGiaH

Keeping my calm (professionalism) despite the tides

This week a very sad event happened. A M.E. occured and I was involved. Despite all my efforts in giving my best, following the protocol, it happened still. Humans can't run away from being human. However, I'm keen on doing better. Even if it's an addition 0.01% more to my 100%, I'm doing exactly that. This event also made me realise that I really do care about the health, kesembuhan of my patients. With all my 'spiritual' routine and following the protocols, yes I am kinda meant to be a pharmacist. Ya rabb, help me in every way because I direly need it. 

Despite all that, because of the two categories I did ('spiritual' routine and following the protocols), it help me kept my calm to be kinda 90% unfaltering which is keep on consistently doing my job, like heck I keep with my locum job that day. I did have a mini cry out of worry for my patient. Allah.. Also, my body was physically tired and unwell. Yeah, that's how the stress and low grade anxiety got me. Having fever, phlegm, the berbisa. Oohh how rest is a nikmat. 

Monday - ds class.

Tuesday - ot appt.

Weds - locum.

Thurs - car service appt.

Friday - kswp.

Sat - kswp + locum.

Sun - 2 events + locum. *highlights Sumayyah's drama*

Also, now I'm reminded how Thursday the feelings and tiredness tides was much worse. With knowing my car was beyond economical repair. A sudden 180 back flip shift. Then today, glass shattered in my bathroom.

Anyhow, I'm writing in locum plus munching on boba, something I wanted and made simple doa, yet Allah gave in His way. Another good news, A just delivered a baby. A surprise. Alhamdulillah.

I need Your Protection, oh Allah. Not gonna crash down.

TGiaH

When the bullied fights back

I just watched another reels of Iran bombing Tel Aviv. The poor citizens but poor deaf citizens. Deaf to the suffers of the Palestinians, Iranians, Jordanians all other countries that they have been attacking? No can blame but themselves for supporting such a cold-blooded leader. And yes, they themselves are too brainwashed to see that. Same bloody cold blooded. I wish for their pity, realisations, for them to feel the pain of others. I want peace. 

So yeah, that's a snippet of my thoughts. I watched the headlines from Youtube this morning. Just Allah saves us all. Aamiin. 

This weeks I have 2 locum + 1 kswp + 2 locums. Consecutive 5 evenings of working, todays's the last for the week. If you count my Monday's darussyifa' class, so the only full night I have at home was Tuesday. And I have to say, Allah make it easy for me. Allah made it easy. The work went lightly and I am able to go through it. I also had the Thursday off. Alhamdulillah. Though I used it to renew my oku card & last minute bowling plan, still the long slow morning? A blessing. Also, to note that Thursday I am a little disturb that eventhough I am very cheapstake with my spending, I spent almost RM50. 

Here's a little breakdown:

Parking 1: RM0.50

Salam noodles: RM5.20

Parking 2: RM 2.65

Bowling: RM12

Eco shop (pens + hair tie): RM7.80

Watsons (facial masks): RM13

Mixue: RM5

Total intended (the first 4): RM20.35

Total 'shopping': RM25.80

Total: RM46.15

To be said, though I kinda need the things like the pens and the hair ties while the facial mask was initially buy 2 free 1, then buy 1 free 1, so I got 4 which is indeed cheap and needed for the maintenance of dry dehydrated skin. I am still surprised of the amount is totaled up. 

Prices,

TGiaH

Weekend in eidul adha

Eidul adha mubarak. Just got back home. Today second day of eid and we had the full korban at my cousin's stable. Finished everything at 2.30. Very hands on. Then food & family over my dad's side until 8.20pm. So yeah, just got home at 9.40 ish maybe? Next full with quite pack schedule which is scaryyy. May Allah ease everything. 

Yesterday, we had prayers at Al Umm, photoshoot. Full eid shebang & my mother's side. I did not rest except for folding my clothes. I got my period during midday Thursday, so there goes my tashriq fasting and so long arafah fasting. I tried to make as much doas on arafah. Yeah, with the 10 first days of Zulhijjah I am very intentional this time. 

Anyhow, I'm writing this on my phone while drying my hair with the fan but somehow why I still smell like korban? Oh I do notice I am a bit feeling unsafe during others' drive.

Let's get some rest,

TGiaH

PBAKL, another convocation

Another Monday. I'm so grateful for Agung's birthday because I get to have 3 days off. Needed one. I'm fasting today. My second fast for the first 10 days of Zulhijjah. The first fast was Thursday last week which I also took a day off. That one was originally planned for PBAKL solo date but with having to bring H to PBAKL and he wasn't available on Thursday to help out abah for another MAEPS event. That day off was also a needed one. I had 3 full days from 8 to 10.

Monday - darussyifa class, come back home at 12 due to meeting

Tuesday - locum

Wednesday - kswp shift

So Thursday break was definitely needed. Other than fasting, I do try to increase my zikr in these 10 days. And doas. Hopefully. Somehow I'm making more conscious doa for a spouse but I haven't fully up my game. Anyhow, the day off I had a movie day in. "Dungeon & Dragons" Nice one. Making me realise I'm into this fantasy mystical heroic movie theme. Hmm. I'm planning on another movie after this. 

Friday - we had this kampung style jamuan. Ohh. If I knew no one gonna wear according to theme, I would've have wear the kebaya-batik. Haha. But in turn, I felt more put together. Like I actually interested and care about how I wanna best present myself in the clothes I wear. The ikan rebus + sambal?! French kiss.

Saturday - PBAKL day. Bringing H. Ohh. The crowd at 12, I just gave up. I need air. Haha. After quickly purchasing my books. Off I go. H also because he finished his budget. I still can't get how he previously said until maghrib. Haha. Had another movie treat the evening, with my basket of clothes I'm folding. 

Sunday - woke up 3.30am to go to UPSI. My mother's convocation day! Then I knew my mom boo H's convo too. She seems happy and puas hati, so it was generally at good day. We arrive back home at 5 and then straight to a cafe meet with S. Oh boy, we talked. Haha. Ohh. I need to mention, I managed to drive all the way back and forth. Achievement unlocked. With new car. But I'm still feeling oh boy I spilt sauce on my car seat. It is what it is with cerebral palsy. Good thing I'm feeling good that I equipped my car with dry and wet tissue. Good thing, S!

My week,

TGiaH