The week after umrah

Really a week has past since I'm back. A lot of I would say change or just eally an roller coaster. While, I got extremely sick the fajr Monday. Haha. Really non-stop mucus from the nose and just cough. Still, I went to work andd appointment the afternoon. Night was rough. Alhamdulillah, I decided to take care of myself the tuesday and got a mc and checkup. Alhamdulillah all clear. The x-ray and blood counts. Still, I decided to work on Wednesday. Talking about responsibility huh. I've got my period in midday. Surprise that I'm not too surprised. Also, surprising I've got into the bathroom right early in time. I decided to on the antibiotics mainly cause I was reminded of the 2 white dots near my arm during my umrah which gone right when I got back (fearing might be pus, so better clear out the infections right). 

Thursday, I guess nothing much except I was on my last page for my home journal. So yeah, Friday after contemplating the muji books (cause I've the pens), I went on with the bookshop near my workplace. Mainly because it's cheaper. While still ticked off the criteria of ring binding and acceptable cover (though I think quite cute). I'm really planning on saving as much so I'm trying to be in save mode like I was in my student era and get back into tracking. The main reason is I'm aiming to help clear my family debts as much as I can (mainly my fathers). During umrah, my mother really stressing over the business and debts. Also my father pre-umrah. Kind of my source of stress during that time, and really pushes me to make doa and figuring out a way out. So yeah. I passed out of Friday near 7, when I off my phone to make last hour Jumaah doas. 

After almost 12 hours, I was up. I missed my last night antibiotic dose! So the morning, super nice I've got into extended clinic work which I enjoyed working with someone I haven't work before. Surprisingly he's friendlier than I expected and the shift was not so busy, just in between, so yeah nice. Back at home, got into lunch and rest then quick nasi before going 4.35pm to locum. The night I forgot my dose also. Allahu. Perhaps I forgot because I had to cook indomie kaldu ayam cause rice is finished. I was contemplating on chilling late night family mart dinner before home. But in my head again, save money. The frugality somehow feels familiar and secure. Kinda like comfort too. 

Sunday today, got back into locum. Though sale for me was slow, in the shop was therapeutic. I like my locum job. Though I need to up my game. During the night and morning, I really headbutt on my mother on psychological manipulation. Her reaction makes me go allahu. But well, I don't expect people to change just better boundaries. I know better now. After lunch, I know there has been delayed for a discussion on the business so after asr. I need rest and reset my emotions baseline. The discussion I think bought clarity just now I am really praying for a massie business buyer as plan. Aamiin. Also, for a prolong peace between my parents. Aamiin. I'm grateful for myself, for being brave, for getting to know myself, how to handle myself, for investing in knowledge I have for myself. I just really pray for no debts for my parents, my family and my generation. 

Slight rain, so big prayers.

TGiaH

Umrah alone but not quite

Assalamualaikum there. I'm back. Last week me no post but that's a given cause I've been away for 2 weeks for my umrah. It's been 55 ish hours I'm here since I landed at 3.10pm jumaah. Weirdly but perhaps not so much weirdly I'm in my recovering post trip phase. Yesterday was a major sleep sleep, today's I'm like half-sick (if that's even a thing) so like half sleep. I feel better when I do a bit of work not too much though. I'm not ready to work tomorrow though I know I need it. 

I feel a little scared and nervous for tomorrow. Sadly but truthfully, umrah was like a big escapee from this world here, the distance I need but no other practical action I did other than doa. So hence the feelings. But the reality of this world I need to do actions to solve it with guidance of doa. This world is certainly tough. All I did there was go back and forth to masjid, definitely push my limits at madinah. Makkah has it owns charms though I did 3 umrahs, it's not a rush to go an hour before. Where you pray, early or late really depends on how Allah arranges it for you cause of the line, the queues, the doors. One umrah I did after a night hiking up Jabal Nur which was insane how the next day our feet were perfectly fine. 

This umrah, I was in better shape than the last. No cracked lips except a small tear in my first few days then just melecet sikit on one of my small toes after my third umrah I think. Being there, just to and back the masjid, in the room for food and cleaning up, time certainly went by too fast I didn't have time to do other things. Even journaling, mostly on the bus. My down time was in taif. I'm really grateful for my umrah because from what I see what I prayed for most part (just one part in madinah I can't go to mosque alone but I'm sure it comes with rewards for intention to help others). The hotels was near, food was great which weirdly I think my tummy half misses it. Anyhow, I cooked a half porridge for me with chicken stocks, eggs and daun ketumbar. 

Barely shopped except for laban. Did a little shop in taif. I found the indomie my dad ate during their stay. Can't find it any other places. Haha. A honeycomb, zabib, walnuts and that's it. I bought konafetto off of shoppee and praying mats. I spent my cash on ziarah and on others. So I still have half my riyals with me. 

I'm having the sniffles since asr oh well. 

Bismillah for tomorrow,

TGiaH

In a rush

Literally am in rush. 5 minutes max. Still half-clothes, writing this. Just when I wear my hijab, I probably be done. My flight to umrah day. Allahu. Still macam oh day hari ke. I'm feeling a bit rush especially after my dua book was delayed. Alhamdulillah done on fajr today. Just a little bits left. Breakfast don't forget! I feel not as emotional about this whole thing like when before I was booking the umrah and this past fews days, missing my fam. Probably good as I don't wanna cry at the airport. Ahh. I have to mention the thursday during family gathering, it does feel like wey I'm really going to umrah alone. All in all, Allah please protect me and make this an easy, beautiful journey for me.

I'm coming oh Allah,

TGiaH