Back to back & The Voice of Hind Rajab.

If only I don't this RVD case report & presentation thingy, I have more time in between. This week I finally reach my last counselling for RVD, then only later I finally received my case for me to work on. Desoite having the Thursday off whole day & Friday half day, I still in a rush as my Saturday & Sunday are full. Well, 2026 vision definitely for February to do. Haha. The Thursday I did not why, that for the longest, I woke up midday like what? I did night shift on Tuesday & volunteer on Wednesday night, but I have no clue my body needed that much. So basically my week was;

Monday - fasted except little to maghrib I knew I can't (lady call)

Tuesday - clinic night work shift.

Wednesday - help packing bags at ds.

Thursday - off day; half sleep, settle my finance, key in data for case (some were wrong), & other pending to do.

Friday - watch The Voice of Hind Rajab (all humans should watch!), close up talk with my friend.

Saturday - all the morning to do//routine, wedding, back redo my data, then big work dinner (I dressed up, a bit).

Sunday - helping out ds which I had promised 2 months ago, another wedding, did my book review, now here.

Had to blog first, because I might be too unbothered to do after I am done with my supposed target case progress. For The Voice of Hind Rajab, a walk thru what happened, with real recordings. I watch it to let my mind remember, to let my heart not die. Here I write what reposted by the official Instagram of the movie, rightly written.

"This wasn't just a movie. It was a voice that stayed with me long after the screen went dark. A reminder how loud silence can be and how heavy it is to carry stories that never should existed. Some stories don't ask to be reviewed, they ask to be remembered."

I'm done,

TGiaH

Inter-relationships

I'm writing this on a Sunday morning. My stomach slightly churning, this week been sensitive.But I don't se what's the problem with yogurt. Haha. Lactose intolerance denial. But really, I though I'm not that lactose intolerant. (Ahh. Byk angin. Lupa.) When I think back on this week. It's a week of me for others. Wednesday afternoon, after a solo lunch date & laptop surveying, I shop pizza slices for birthday boy, I. Then, Friday lunch meet up with F which then I'm late. Haha. A little humiliated by my boss, but oh well. At least I got a free birthday buffet paid by F. Yesterday, farewell gathering at locum (then this morning I found out I have to buy my father's meds, so again at pharmacy). Today, with A as taaruf chaperone. 

So yeah.. Do I get my me time? Yes. But not enough. Haha. Though it's good being in my discomfort zone. Ahh. The dust at my table's corner is bothering me. Haha. I guess I'll do my vision board next week. Oh another update, the back space between my shoulders, it's sore.. CCM oncall duties, may Allah ease.

Simple update, I guess.

TGiaH

In my own..(head?)

Sunday evening.. Writing this. I decided for a 'no' screen time day, so I try to be very intentional with picking up my phone today. One thing I figure I use my phone a lot when anything curious past thru my mind. It's also a light drizzle in rain today. I met up with S yesterday, returning her book after 6 months, living in different states is what it is. Some of what she says hits, some of what I says hits me too. I'm grateful for the conversation and our relation still. The air feels different, not exciting as I had remembered just that it hits. One of the thing is my medical check up, define 'healthy' also I forgot about the health condition might or might not affect the job offer as per email. So that's one thing. So now I'm regretting not thinking her way. Her point is easier for if placement request. And placement thoughts. What do I want and what do I best choose? I know what everyone wants. Just Allah what is the best? Guess, I know what I want. Calm work, balance healthy life for everyone and able to do a good job.

Like today, I let down my ds girl, A. They have the stats volunteer day. I'm glad I didn't say yes. At the time before, I know I need to prioritise a day in for myself. Rest. Then, happens I got my period. So a day in bed is much needed. I feel sore. Period sore. I went out pretty much yesterday first with S and the evening night to a desi muslim millionaire wedding. My school senior, Dr/kak H got married yesterday. And that's so aww. Turns out her husband is family with my ex-naqibah. Haha. Today I still went out to my neighbours wedding as I didn't go yesterday. Imagine your neighbours are your in laws. I've been in bed pretty much just reading Me Before You. Now it hits the spot after 70% into the book. Did some light stretching. I kinda feel like painting after this. <The rain has come.> My uncle is still with us. I'm scared of his food might be aspirated. I'm just in an emotional, mental overload mess.

The 'mamaks' wedding. Yesterday was the walimah. 

- Food dome in every table.

- Rented out the whole level of Bank Rakyat's floor (in KL!).

- Light show.

- Food show.

- Kompang show + cake cutting.

- In house production of the wedding songs with the couples name.

- Bollywood style video for the mehendi & nikah (both at event halls).

- 7 levels parking lot (4 levels for G).

- New 'high end' car for the couple (one for each).

- Side; 3 albino siblings.

It was overwhelming for me. Grateful for me (that I'm not born into that world. Also getting to experience) and them. That's part of their rezqi. Alhamdulillah.

Glad I'm not 'desi' enough,

TGiaH

2026. The start of a 3.

And 3 meaning my 30s series. Umm. Writing that makes me flinch a little. Despite me being quite okay with it last year, but when entering this year being a 3 means a whole new life decade is starting not just a year (and unmarried, another thought). Am I be able to me more relax and mature? More feminine and me, in a a way? I don't know. I just finished writing my 2025 recap, I thought a first I don't have to necessarily do it the last night of 2025, then entering the new year ah I remember I might forget the actuality of last year. So I have to write it as soon as possible.

I might not make a new vision board for this year, just continuing off last year. Like I wanna have a colour analysis, getting to know my own fashion, doing cafe & book dates, reading on properties, learning ai and I still need to practice trading. Other than, continue my reading, conscious eating, creative outlets. Also, with the new 'era' of a highly likely new work place. I just wanna focus on taking care and surviving. No need for other big goals but this. We'll have to see how this few upcoming months goes. So my word for the year might be Care (for myself). I accepted the offer Monday, did my medical check up and oath (?) on Wednesday and uploaded up on Friday.

I'm writing this on a Saturday because I didn't do my laundry today. I did do my bedsheets on new years that's soo nice to have especially with a new year and new fresh flowers. Uuu. I love the flowers I got this time. I notice I'm chilling down allowing myself on the phone a lot. Hmm. Trying to teach my body resting without screen time. Oh well. But it's nice to get a movie in a free day off besides one small task. Pak njang back yesterday evening. Alhamdulillah. I henna-ed my hair Monday & got a hair cut last week Friday. 

I so need to go to the toilet, sorry.

TGiaH

2025 Recap

Bismillah..

Monthly highlight.

 January: I decided on doing & did the tasme' ds. Decided on new glasses!

February: Brunei trip, started my own 30 talking youtube video, did my first 'blind' taaruf session.

March: Ramadhan while juggling taaruf session with a psychopathy and ending it. Putting my self-healing/development to a test.

April: Ahh. This was a roller coaster of emotion. My parents were my worst enemy in this month.

May: The car accident which Allah saved me but I lost my car (the last message too). Witnessing everything with gratefulness. I got Syawal, my new Ativa car within around a week. I & L convocation. New cc.

June: Driving ibu and H to their convocation in Perak the very next weekend I got my car. The family korban on Eid Adha and the ME. Huhu.

July: Settling my car's takaful on my own (seriously feel like an adult). I tried started a youtube channel using ai for my side income while doing overtimes. Got my car tinted.

August: Continue doing overtimes while decided to stop the videos as I won't be able to monetise. Super tired all the time = burn out. Set up my car's dashcam.

September: Driving to Bagan Datuk, the disaster trip of Pangkor and Cameron Highland family trip. Trying to recover from burn out. The arrival of kittens and the death of their mom.

October: The 180 degree study turn for S. An emotional roller coaster week. Trying to take care of super baby kittens, from 4, 2 survived. Seeing the start of a new kind of friendship.

November: Last tasme' which is tasme' herba. Did pilates for the first time and started to take working out more seriously. Another new cc.

December: Convocation! Alhamdulillah I made it. A trio girls trip at Cameron Highland and I drove to there with the dark of the night and fog. Surprise permanent job offer.

2025 Reflection

1. Name three words that best describe my 2025.

Bold, safe, care.

2. Biggest lesson you've learned this year.
It's okay to prioritize which also means I don't have to be capable of doing everything.

3. Biggest change I did this year.
Trying even though I scared. Getting a new car. Using shopee pay & spaylater as my main pay mode to maximise cashback.

4. Best decision I made this year.

Saying no & displaying my emotions even when it's tough (to my parents).

5. Best single achievement I made this year.
Darussyifa' convocation.

6. Who helped you get through 2025.
The yearly obvious answer is Allah. If it's a what helped? It's my prior investment to a healthy regulation & healing.

7. Which worry was unnecessary this year?

All my worries are valid. If I have to choose one, is money worry.

8. How did you grow emotionally this year?
Stronger definitely.

9. Happiest moment of 2025.
The moment I realise I was able to drive my car with much less anxiety.

10. Saddest moment of 2025.

Saying goodbye to my lil sister S at the airport.

And that's 2025,

TGiaH