A hot summer

This weekend is definitely hot. I showered 4 times yesterday. Haha. While today, already a second shower at 2.  A semi-relaxed weekend, getting some things done but also resting (though my bed is like a literal hot pad). I just watched Ondo (Youtube) midway. I am slightly rekindled of how relaxing watching her videos can be.

This week I'm having a better pace at work, while adjusting to cycles of high and low work loads. Also this week, I even more late on Monday drive at 6.30. I need to be out as soon as 6 eventhough I made it in time at 7.40 ish. While the drive home on Friday was the worse this time at 2 hours (but I had a stop for 15-20 minutes so I guess it's okay). It's just more traffic. 

Trying to help my mom with her MyTax must be the big to do of this week. I'm gonna check her out after this. Also my bio teacher whatsapp me so that's something. I'm reading the Art of Being Alone, while I'm the first part is like the author seems like avoidant much, I'm at the content part where she brings context of sitting in our own head. 

Excited for a 4 work day next week,

TGiaH

Rest day or lazy day

You know what I did? I procrastinate writing this when by the time I open the tab, I proceeded to opening my phone & edited my CV required to submit on Monday. For 30 minutes. Haha. At least I got one thing done. And how I discovered how clueless I am to write my achievement & experiences part. While work has been stagnant, what can I brag as achievement? 

Today has been a lazy day. I would definitely call it that. Because I feel guilty of not doing anything and by anything is house chores. I just swept my room floor. Very minor. (And I cut my bad hair out. That's one thing too.) I put kdrama (Under The Queen's Umbrella) in the list to get me some rest. But in truth I am clueless of resting. I should do without digital stimulation. But I do also want to treat to some binge watching something. Yet, that's not good. What does well rested mean when my body is all still sore. Only I reminded myself I should use my rest day to slow down in my solat. Intentional. My word of the year. I can take my time in every recitation, every position. Pray as early as I can. That's the very least I can do in my existence. 

This week work is the first without the previous officer. So I am on my own. I think I navigate quite safely but also a bit of a few bumps. I contemplate of questioning but also I am such a people pleaser in my job. I am navigating learning how to properly do my job and position myself as I go. Although the people pleasing causes me stress and a bit of emotions to well up, I am subtle-ly appreciating the discomfort. 

Although the weekend hitting home, causes waterfall to stream down my eyes yesterday. Oh my poor dad, his business, me and I feel so sorry for my mom too. I pray Allah saves us, our Protecter.

I guess to rest. Rest is recharge, okay?

TGiaH

Week 2 at new work place

I'm sooo slow which means I need to catch up a lot on work which also means I'm frustrated. That's how I am in week 2. Haha. 

Also to note here I'm realising another point of how Allah really knows what's best to give me for my job. I thought I would be finished with my contract, travel wondering jobless, and get into my upskilling grilling mode on making a living thru some kind of idea which might be the unique purpose of my living. Instead Allahs give a permanent, stable job, 1 plus hour from my parent's home and in logistics. 

What I needed is;

- A constant dependable lower risk salary to help my family's finance.

- A place where I have my own time & space while still taking care of my family.

- A work which I am uncomfortable it pushes me to growth and appreciating my job.

- A job that helps the sick.

- A job that has balance with my own time (daily) as well as perhaps allows me to travel.

- And all in all, it's gets me in a state of constant gratitude and does not hinder my ibadah.

It is the right timing too. And hearing the next permanent placement open application is on end of 2027. Allah please replace them with greater rezqi. For my friends.

It is a great blessing. 

A little subtle show on values: Reliable, balance, growth, altruism/kindness, health, explore, religion.

Andd a busy weekend too. Today with Mubin, the business side of the family.

I'm in my zoning out zone,

TGiaH

Welcome to another 30 years of workingg

Assalamualaikum to a new work chapter, dear me. Haha. Huhu. Alhamdulillah a big blessing to be able to work in a thing I somewhat love. And this time, with this change of new department, I am not in place feeling lost rather I'm feeling a bit of the pressured to stuff as much and as fast that I can to be the competent worker I aspire to be. So I'm a logistic pharmacist now huh.

This week is like weeeee. Jogs right by. Monday, I was bye-bye-ing everyone then at 4 was off to my rental room. And straight the following day, I am in my new place. Definitely felt the exhaustion, and I though felt a bit guilty for driving out from home at 8, I needed the extra slow morning in. My sleep schedule is adjusting. So happens I wake up at 4 or too tired I slept at 8.30, but I think thursday I got adjusted. Then, Friday after work straight to Bangi. My fam home. My home home. I am kinda in a phase like feeling I'm going out kursus and not registering that this will be my last time meeting some of co-workers/friends. Probably my slow way of processing. Letting it come, when it comes. Overall, I feel fine. A shift.

Weekend was busy. 1 weddings, 2 open house yesterday. One with my co-workers, we had a small group and had a birthday surprise. I am feeling that somewhat this is an act of a guy trying to get into a girl. My 2 junior co-workers. Who knows? Yet, I feel somewhat sad for myself. I had an assumption that the old uni-guy has no interest in taaruf, so I put a solid stop and moving forward. Just, it's supposed to be easy right? For decent guys to be interested in me? Yet my life is such opposite. I'm gonna uphold my value and let my mind be full of thoughts of my Creator. The only one who deserves my attention. Yet, it is hard sometimes. I'm meeting my Bruneian friend tonight, In Shaa Allah. Let's enjoy my life, with no spouse searching worries.

Let's,

TGiaH