Colouring

The most fun thing to me this week is colouringg. Haha. Since my colour book & pencils arrived, on tuesday, I've been colouring. Haha. Yesterday, full day colouring I'd put off my work to the minute meeting. Haha. Grateful Alhamdulillah it didn't take me too long yesterday night. 

Today a bit of a full day, sent S to the bus terminal (woke up 5.15 ish), then did a bit of cleaning, cooking. Not much. But with my parents on a trip (I really hope they focus on the trip & their relation), I kinda step up. But these upcoming 3 days. Fuhh. Until 10pm. I pray I can make it well. In Shaa Allah. A bit down today. Huhu. A mistake on my part. Yet, meditation was healing. Opening up my inner child wounds to be properly cared and treated. She's so strong. I tell ya. Yesterday, I rely on her for strength. Today, I opened up my wounds. Alhamdulillah.

Yesterday, was happy. A prolonger version that I hadn't had in a while. I looked at my body and felt pretty and good. I'm a feminine beautiful lady Allah has created gitew. Haa. Haha. 

Colouring has been a distraction and joy. But I still have so much things to dooo. Huhu. Haha. 

To folding my clothes. Pronto!

TGiaH

Late post. Grinding tablets.

Here I am brushing my teeth while writing this. Thursday. Way past my writing schedule. But hear me out. I missed the sunday afternoon timing (I had to work the night). So.. I barely remember what last week was. Haha. Was busy. I'm more excited for this week's post. Probably unleashing colouring. The title. Anyhow, I'm in happy mood Alhamdulillah. Very appreciative the moments when I feel happy.

Last week significant. Grinding tablets. Uuuu. I still got some strength in me. Haha. And the compliments. Wah. Made me happy. The 'wah'. Thank youu. *terharu emoji*

Okay la bye. Still need to mask session.

Night2.

Fast 3 day weekend

First day period. How my three day weekend passes. Saturday a day with the fam. Melaka a lil job. N9 for aqiqah. Seeing A's new baby. Ahh. The stages has progressed for her. Learning more of less knowing is better. I have a smaller circle.

Uuu. The chats with S after locum. Gave me some new insights & self reflect. 

Sunday, the morning was super tired. I haven't had that long sleep + movie-like dream in a long time. Learning that I'm not selfish for resting & not being able to keep up with my own (and ibu's) expectation to clean. 

I wanna take it slow. A step at a time.

Monday. Mamak's brekkie with fam & siblings day out. Big purchase for my parents. 3 food spots trip for the sibs. Grateful that Allah gave me a big fat pocket.

S did not confirm yet a seat for medic. Even she felt she's a little too lax for it. Hmm. Somehow desperation & being driven (like me cause of my childhood) comes in importance too in this kinds of things. In this terms, she wish she was more like me. Yet, in a way I'm glad she's emotionally okay with everything.

Still on going for the write challenge. A week has passed. Sometimes remnants sometimes wonders. Hmm. Life. Just let it progress.

Progressing,

TGiaH

Proper Ending

This week recovering week (getting my eating + sleeping routine back). Just with the news, I need my time however I'm at locum. Probably the best too cause I have a bit of distraction. 

So he & his family decided to not go further with it. Okay la. So it's the same kind of risik that I have experienced just with a ring. So simply I don't need to try. I don't need to do anything anymore. The decisions I made in the past all are based on that point of time & circumstances, so I have no fault of regret. 

Funnily I was asleep during his message, but I dreamt him vividly & he was there quite some time. We were working together (the background was cabinet/counters) when he decided to step back and I continue my dream to another scene eventhough I was a bit puzzled by his action. Haha. Guess I dreamed a real scenario into my dream. Perghh. Allah wanna show me. Really. Amazing. Ma Shaa Allah. 

If he's really my jodoh, Allah will guide him to a path similar to mine. As well as mine to him. Ada jodoh, ada lah. That's the principe. For now, let me delete everything to focus on myself. I have istikharah after zohr so what I wrote, decided everything was the best Allah has planned. No wrong. So no/less attachment. I can do this. Slowly. 

This upcoming week my be rough with withdrawals. Just I wanna take my time. Move on & heal. Even if after Ramadhan, I need time. I'll focus on myself instead of forcing. If Allah wanted me to get married, He himself will bring that person to me. Cause he knows best I don't have the capacity to search for myself. 

Perhaps we both truly tak ngam. We'll never truly know. Okay la. To the best Ramadhan of my life. In Shaa Allah, aamiinn. 

Focus = reality,

TGiaH