Last Day in Putrajaya

And.. The day has arrived. Actually my real last working day is Friday last week, while today Monday I'm having the day off to move and of course, I can't go without saying proper goodbyes to everyone I know. So I plan on visiting all clinics + pkd. I hope I have enough time as I plan to start the long drive at 1 (zohr). I also plan to drop by the mart for flowers (something to celebrate) & groceries. 

Raya week has been fun. However the not so fun part is my mind circling in the idea of a guy. The reason because is I told my father when he ask me about potential candidates. I even reach the thinking of asking out for taaruf. Although initially I'm pretty chill about it, but because I told my father, it suddenly becomes such a potential my mind can not rest on it. It's getting calmer, but I do hope I get back to the chill let it be feminine state. The right person will come at the right time. 

Am I sad about leaving putrajaya? It is a definite future I have known for a while. Although I'm pretty calm (because I'm distracted that's one reason), and I wanna it to be happy thing. I have to say to myself it's okay to cry a bit (after I finish my thank you speech without crying that is). Okay, I'm really 35 minutes late from my plan to get out the house yet I'm still not ready. Gotta go.

Bismillah for this new journey,

TGiaH

Eid Fitri 2026

I'm so in a rush. Haha. I was supposed not to. But shopping my things online sets my time off. Huhu. Dunno what's wrong with the app but yeah it's not fun when you wanna purchase just one but upon checkout turned to 4 of the same thing. Hello, shoppee. So I'm late to meet my friend. Not late, late. But later than my expected time. Still, I have to blog even it's super past my due. 

Eid come on Saturday in Malaysia. Alhamdulillah for another day of Ramadhan and a blessed Friday. I think this Ramadhan teaches me about doing with my capacity and my greed for ibadah. A constant healthy body and time. Well, everything is Allah's rezqi. 

Saturday - Eid here & dad's side. The drive back home, super missing my sis.

Sunday - Tapah eid road trip. Had fun and chill with three of us, dad, L and me.

Monday - open day house. A few coworkers came and I'm super happy spending time with all. 

Tuesday - The fatigues catch up, so a little flare. Ziarah my grandma's grave & my mother's side.

Wednesday - morning me time and out with my coworker in the afternoon.

A discussion since Sunday is eyeing for potential suitors, and Idk. With all raya visits, either I slightly wanna avoid guys who are not as up par, I decided to be open that I might have a potential suitor of my own. Despite we talked in coincidence, when last night came, the more I thought, the more I think why not just give it a shoot? The worse thing is only getting rejected and the best is the experience. Gotta go.

Eid mubarak,

TGiaH

Unfocused, time wasted

Tonight's gonna be the 25th Ramadhan and how my past week of period has been? Wasteful. Ughh. I really hate myself for that. Instead of going all out on istighfar and doa, I literally waste my time in bed. I almost redeem myself yesterday but nope, I lost again. I am so afraid of not making full of my time to make lots of prayers, I can't miss the chance of Lailatul qadar. I can't. It's is the only weekend I am free a bit from having something to do. Yet, yahh. Wake up, S. I need to seize this chance of turning my family (in particular my father's) destiny around. Also, even I half want-don't-want-marriage, who I am to let go of a diamond's chance worth of getting a lifetime heavenly spouse? 

Ya rabb, please forgive me.

TGiaH

Not knowing how to relieve stress, a delay

One thing I have to be honest this week is that when I'm on the roll on 'busy'ness which include slight anxiousness but also actually stress with high alertness and energy usage. Basically my body was on a roll without me wondering what's wrong and how to put pause.  The high on going stress dealing is me somehow having to deal with tiredness, my painful hand, my ongoing brain of figuring my move with work & room rent and the biggest keeping up with my ibadah goals & really squeezing my best out of Ramadhan,  I am yes somewhat somewhere in the zone. 

But Alhamdulillah, my period came so the pause came. I can know focus a new slightly relax routine with istigfar and doa and probably lots lots of tafakkur. I picked out a room yesterday. Spent the whole day visiting rooms, at last the cutest one is the one with the best parking so.. Alhamdulillah. I'm praying for a good housemates and a seamless integration into their routine (also in the searching shop for home items). Alhamdulillah for the car conversation, I think I might be ready to experience another taaruf. After eid that is. Tonight 'iftar' with F & Y In Shaa Allah, though I already miss the idea of iftar here with my family especially abah.

Getting my ironing done,

TGiaH

Have Not Expected This

Monday, the rayuan results is on out. I got not Johor or Pahang or Sabah, I've got.. *drum roll* 

Melaka.

Haha. I think my first reaction was I got the rayuan and it's Melaka. My brain was definitely running processing mode because what I mentally prepared for back then was not this. It was not on the list of expected outcome in my mind. Told my boss, my other friend. She checked first and told me she did not get it. Huhu. So I was I don't wanna check yet. I wanna pray solat istikharah and check. But I told to myself I can't always wait out to take wudhu' and solat every time, I really should just ask Allah and pray because in real time, sometimes we don't have the luxury. I was feeling grateful and good that day. Also spent the whole day until night back & forth, whatsapping people. Trying to figure out the best facility, inform and noting their results. Slept late. And I was still half sick.

Tuesday,  off day, 12 ish. Called JKN Melaka. Haha. I think I did spoke fairly good and bad also. Huhu. My speaking govern-ish skills nu-uh. So yeah, I got worried hearing Hospital Melaka and toxicity. Fearing my condition stopping my work too. So spent my whole off day which should've been a luxury Qur'an day, on writing another surat 'rayuan' which is more of a suitability request. Stressed out because of piling work. List A Kaunter (still not finish), writing this surat rayuan, and knowing I have the be the pencatat minit mesyuarat. 

Wednesday, sent it in the morning. Spent another night, writing a response email. I want them to see I'm neutral, capable but with limits. 

Thursday, finally to the masjid. How I missed it so much. 4 rakaat of tarawikh and continue and home because I was afraid no one else have the keys. Also, damn the meeting was so packed with makluman. 

Friday, pushed myself. 20 rakaats, masjid. My mind was elsewhere. Upset.

Saturday, iftar IKRAM. Was able to have moments of refocusing but not grateful with getting a runny nose during solat.

Sunday.. I'm busy on my laptop. Also, little in a hurry for my Qu'ran reading. 

I feel I lack so much doing and presence this Ramadhan. :(

It was raining beginning writing, now it stopped. Gotta fuel my car.

TGiaH