Learning to rest

And yes still learning, also to control how to not get too in like watching some drama. But tbh, for this whole few weeks, I have no interest in watching anything on youtube and netflix. I'm drinking mocha btw, it's 11 in the shop & I'm still feeling sleepy so I had to. Anyhow, I really don't know what I wanna write. 

Simply;

Monday - norm

Tuesday - made sambal 

Weds - bawa bekal

Thursday - had to rest, dunno why so tired

Fri - long nap, lots of food from yasin, bawa bekal

Saturday - work + mouth ulcer since thursday getting so painful, oh I belanja food for locum as kak H's birthday this week

Sunday - locum

Yeah, at this very moment I'm good Alhamdulillah. B is doing live. So tabik to her. I guess I'm getting back into packed home meal for work. But yeah it is my yearly goal. I'm trying. The sambal helps.

Back to work,

TGiaH

Capacity.

Okay. This word just come to my mind. Capacity. I have a certain degree of capacity and which I have to admit doing Youtube amidst all of what I'm doing now is pushing my limits. So yeah right on time. I had created 30 videos and 30 shorts for daily posting. Now, I'm planning to downsize to something more manageable. Maybe 1 or 2 videos and recreate them as daily shorts? I don't know. The channel seems very stagnant. Anyhow, I'm managing that on Tuesday. 

Still to note it's also a struggle to say to yourself pause on the work. Don't do work. Rest. Ha. Unresolved burnout. 

This weekend I'm having a very much weekend in. I basically did the minimum but it is what it is. Until this morning, I feel very sore and if only I had a massage. I'm not picking up any interest on the social medias and netflix, so I'm taking it as sign to take a break of it. My room is half dusty, not much messy. But I can't pick up myself to dust it in view I only have 2 hours left before going to locum (I'm planning on meeting a friend too) and the risk of not being well in the next few days at work. Risky. 

Another update is I got my car tinted. Alhamdulillah. I underestimated how it took my whole day for it. But still Alhamdulillah. Decided to go for a middle size price but better specs. I hope it last. I did spend the day before rigorously researching on it. 

50.3kg,

TGiaH

I want another day in..

Hi. Peace. I'm writing this on a monday morning work, thought I squeeze in 10 minutes to write this before going on with my work. I needed rest yesterday. I always need rest, yet I always overtime. Alhamdulillah I paid off my debt with my mom. It's just that car tint is damn expensive, so yeah I guess I know where my money goes. But if I'm going pay expansive, I want the quality to be in line with it. I hope so. Aamiin. Regardless, I am trying to survey a few brands.

OT work I did last week was:

tuesday night (then took 2 hours off on wednesday morning to ensure rest).

saturday morning & night.

Just sunday morning, I went out for long walk with my parents and H, so we got home by 11. Then the darussyifa' meeting at 3pm. Also, trying to finish a few youtube videos. Gonna finish another 4 tomorrow on my day off also restructure a few things to better grow the channel. I really hope it works. Also tried activating the Google Adsense for this blog. Every penny counts, especially now. I need multiple streams of income. In Shaa Allah.

Also to not, I had a bad dream near the end. Like I'm some kind of war slash squid game. It's scary seeing how there are humans seeing other humans worthy of being shot at or killed. I don't think it from seeing Palestinians on instagram, but from the show When The Phone Rings. The villian.. With no remorse. That's why pain is essential to kindness and sympathy. I am a bit okay now but while getting ready this morning, definitely not.

Monday blues,

TGiaH

I did it (Youtube)!

Now 5.56pm, told myself this is just gonna take a few minutes and while there's no customer (well.. just as I wrote that, came one. But phew my friend handled it.) Guess who came to locum 2 hours early because the manager said so. >> Me. Haha. While my rest hours at home are numbered, I'm grateful enough for the extra cash. 

Guess I wrote about this. But still I kinda make the Youtube thing work for 1 week, so we'll see. Even though it's a faceless motivation/self development ai content, 1 minute video, 1 minute short per day, still it's lessen my hours of rest. So, pretty much juggling throughout the week. At least I got some thumbnails done (thanks gov for sponsoring Gemini!) and 8 videos done. Just left for me to schedule post tomorrow. Despite the severely lack of views for my videos, I've got one short reaching 1.4k and that made me happy enough. I had thoughts of changing my strategy but perhaps maybe month 2. I haven't quite settle yet on the channel's name but yeah me-no-wait-for-things-to-be-perfect-to-just-go, so yeah.

Other than that, I settled my car's takaful. I rediscovered I become the chatty bit when I ask strangers/workers for help. Well, I did put on my nice, super nice persona for people to be kind enough to make the process smooth. Alhamdulillah. I just hope the company settled it smooth and swift In Shaa Allah. Nice day out to myself. Also, I met up with F on Friday lunch yesterday, we talked pretty much the 6 month summary of our life. And with how I talk, it shown progress with healing the wounds I've got with my parents. The broken trust, yet I don't blame them. Still speaking most well about them. Anyhow, I hope that chapter of my life is close and I'm only moving forward with now embracing anxiety caused by multiple traumas this year, while still optimist about a better tomorrow In Shaa Allah. 6.12pm.

And that's another Saturday,

TGiaH