2021 Recap

I forgot to do a summary end of last year. So here at 8th January 2022, I'm writing this.

January: Started my financial journey + KKDI.

February: Being a relief teacher for special needs kids.

March: Got my driving license!

April: Start of PRP + living out.

May: Bought my car!

June: Ending my chat addiction (laughing emoji) + attach at PKD

July: Scaling my teeth for the year with blood.

August: Start of hospital attachment.

September: Having actual friends I'm happy with.

October: Clinical so busyy.

November: Putting on a brave face for merisik.

December: Going to Penang with online friends.

                                                                                         

1. Name three words that best describe my 2021.       

Moving, changing, adulting.

2. Biggest lesson you've learned this year.
I found out I'm someone who easily forgot + don't dump within a short time frame.

3. Biggest change I did this year.
Becoming a person who actually spends on myself.

4. Best decision I made this year.

Choosing family.

5. Best single achievement I made this year.
Getting my own car + no debts!

6. Who helped you get through 2021.
Myself.

7. Which worry was unnecessary this year?

Not having a PRP friend.

8. How did you grow emotionally this year?
More emotionless which is weird.

9. Happiest moment of 2021.
When I'm with my friends who want to be friends with me (S, E, K & F).

10. Saddest moment of 2021.

Detachment is sad.

I don't really remember 9 & 10 as there are not happiest or saddest moment rather there are many happy & sad moment.

To sum up my 2021, I did a great job. Alhamdulillah.

A trip to Kuantan & closure to 2021

Looks who forgot to blog again? Me again. The weekends was full with a trip to Kuantan. The one thing is that I really enjoy the trip with my family and another. A rare experience but fulfilling. It was another obstacle I faced and succeed. I felt myself around the people  I love. Going to beach, having masak lemak ikan patin, pengat durian, cooking with another mom, playing cats, I enjoyed it. A weekend out of work.

We also rush to Selangor the next day and went to clean at my aunt's post-flood. So I was tired. Now, I'm reminded of the pile of clothes at my room, still unwashed. Yikes.

Should I write on 2021? I should. This year been like my mind wander off a lot, confusion. A lot of trying new things, a lot with KKDI, and a lot of straying away. I'm a lot in my comfort zone. A lot of good memories with HPJ friends and family. Living on my own, recomfirming I'm lazy. A turn point to working life. Oh shoot, I didn't register for my tax and zakat. Oh adulting. 

Scary la blogging at S2,

TGiaH

Post Penang Trip Reflection

 Ahh. I actually past the mark to write thiss. Huhu. Going with strangers. Having ups & downs. Discomfort andd now feeling myself. Woops. 

25 years old..

My birthday list goes:

1. On the phone messaging at 12 forgetting my birthday.

2. Woke up 6 15, miss tahajud.

3. It's jumuah today!

4. Fnish al-Kahfi the very morning.

5. Had leftover korean chicken for breakfast.

6. PF H gave the pharmacy fam sandwiches & kueh for breakfast (which ended up to be my lunch).

7. Super busy with the exhibition. Under estimate the crowd.

8. Finish at 1, Oh my Friday lunch break. 

9. Breakkie for lunch.

10. Manage to go back home to sleep and pray.

11. Donate RM 25 for the flood victims.

12. Treated myself tealive & cakes for the fam.

13. Shortstaff that afternoon still managed. Alhamdulillah.

14. Finished few minutes before 5, which I rang my mum to go to Mak Ndak's house instead of spending the rest of the day on my own.

15. First time asr at the clinic.

16. Drove myself to Mak Ndak's house in Ulu Langat and reached at 6 thirty!

17. Manage a conversation with Pak Ndak alone. 

18. Had nasi putih, gulai ikan, keropok lekor and packs of nasi tomato my father made for my Pak Tam's family.

1.  Hugs with my family on the sight of them. Hugs are sooo good.

19. A suprise birthday cake which I kinda spoiled.

20. Baby on my lap.

21. Coincidence with Pak Ndak & Mak Ndak anniversary.

22. Sister talk!

23. Drive home with S & L despite a few bumps. Manage to sing 1 song.

24. Come back home to do the research proposal slides.

25. Still haven't showered, haven't checked my phone properly and it's past midnight. Hello 25th!

I can't believe I forgot to blogg.

So basically I did finish the research thingy on Sunday & went with A on Saturday. 

Ahh. I should've blog last weekk.

An unexpected holiday + driving to Ampang.

I'm writing at the dispensing counter at workplace. Hope no one notice. If not yikes!

Last week has been eventful. With KL (wilayah) winning the football match (I didn't know there was a match going on. Haha.), we got the Friday off Alhamdulillah. Though I barely did anything on the Friday at least I got the chance to rest. I was very excited indeed for the day off. 

On Saturdays, there was pharmacy family day which I got to say I had fun. I arrived at 8 30-ish and obviously I went knowing probably I won't have anyone to hang much. Kak L was there with her family and she was so nice. I even ate at the picnic mat with her family (though at that time P & Kak A arrived which I'm glad. Hehe.). Did I mentioned her kids are so adorable? The food was delish. I hoped I bought the bbq home but I had to rush off to the dentist. Anyhow, I managed to play and won 2nd place! Later after, I went to the dentist and brush my teeth there. Haha. I also realised I changed to the same colour of band. Oh dear. I did a bit of work that night and had group discussion on the research which I hateee. I got the comments back but I haven't finish the literature review yet. Kah2.

Then Sunday came. I drove off to Ampang guysss and I safely bought myself back home too. The car too of course. Ramadhan did such a good job. I decided to meet up with A at Melawati Mall to shop some clothes and know what? I bought 3 blouses!! I rarely shop but the clothes fit my liking and length and the size and the price. So I grab it of course especially especially with the lack of clothing options last week. I did hoped there was a colour variety but it's better than nothing. I do feel a bit guilty for A. Huhu. The dress was really nice aghh. She ended up didn't buy anything. Then I drove back when it suddenly pouring that my car can barely wipe the rain off (meaning it was so loud and I barely see properly). Thank you Allah for making me went it through safely. By the I got back home Pak Cik J and his family were there. F was there too! With her cute little baby as well. After that we went to my lil brother school and visited Pak Cik J sibling at Shah Alam (I didn't know my parents plan this. Anyway, I was up to go). 

The 4 days at work was okay with me mostly being at dispensing (not that I'm complaining. Haha.) Nearly made a mistake with a med (Kak S wrongly filled it and I missed out. Huhu.) but the patient was so kind and the exchange process went smoothly. Alhamdulillah. I bought food from Kak H for the first time and it was good I have to say. The Thursday afternoon was rushed that made me sweat. This week was supposed to be my Galen week. Huhu. 

So that's a wrap for this week, I guess. 

Yehooo,

TGiaH

A new experience + wedding

I forgot to bloggedd last week. How I wish I could get up from my cozy bed and write on my laptop.

This week summary is kinda like spending time with family (come back home on Monday, went to booth Al Taj after work), PICC with the community therfore my first half day, stressed from research huhu i hate it, went to S's wedding, went out with batchmate, had a lil family friend coming over (which gave me a mini heart attack yesterday morning), bought takeaway pizza & passing away of kenit (i just usap2 him yesterday a lot while he was asleep along with movie with my savior) anddd a little race car with Abah.

Typo, typo, should sleep,

TGiaH

A fulfilling weekend + back at kk

 Guess who's back?? Me me me! Hehe. Guess I've been away for 4 weeks clinical + 1 week post (logbook due). And Alhamdulillah I've sent my logbook alreadyy. 

I've been back at kk for 1 week and oh boy I miss the environment at hospital (read my friends there). I feel so belong there. Welcomed. But here? I'm just an awkward quiet mess. Hope I'll get to catch up with my friends there. 

I've been out this week with my mom. Yesterday to kenduri travel. I was feeling really pretty until I leaked. Yikes! Opps. Then today at Shah Alam which I got to hang at a cafe by myselfff. Though I'm a bit on the saving side today.

Anyhow, I'm sleepy. Pray all goes well next week. XD

Bismillah,

TGiaH

My last week in IPD + the start of Clinicall.

 I'm tireddd. Settling my ipd logbook which just a few finishing touches left. I also print out my clinical logbook in advance hopefully I can complete all the pages. But oh mak I'm scared for the workload that gonna come inn. Pleasee be nice to me.

My last week was a chill that I took the leisure of having 2 mcs but oh boy I shouldn't have proscrastinate the miscellaneous part. I stayed until 10 pm the last day to finish that (the c&f part) but still continue at home. I'm also a bit surprised why I haven't blogged. But oh well. 

All in all, I'm grateful enough that my ipd logbook is a success. 

Also, the weekend was well spent. On Sunday, the whole family went for a picnic and swimming by the river. Certainly reminded of our childhood. And Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, we did enjoy the trip. For Sunday, abah made barbeque. Thank you abah!

Blessed week,

TGiaH

Being grateful plus clingyy.

I realised I'm clingy. Haha. Or just become less shameful about it. Oh gosh. I realised while I stared at the ceiling Friday night before Saturday, I have so many things to be grateful for. The people I connect here at hpj, the ability to afford a room and the food I want, to have a car which works every day. The leisure time to rest. Tears started running down my cheeks that night while my roommate still asleep. 

But on the weekend, I waste so much time. I struggle to find structure. The routine I once loved. It feels my self fades away from that. But then again, I go to that phase every few months. I sometimes really wish I have a partner who cuddles me in bed, who I can just talk the gibberish things I always tend to talk, but sometimes again I feel not ready. Coz I'm lazy and unproductive and I don't know why. I wish a partner comes easy but maybe Allah is saying I really not ready yet. I invest so little in myself nowadays. I need to read, I need to grow, I need to explore. Lifting myself from the ground below. Looking from above, fly. 

And I need to write,

TGiaH

Changes that happened to me - Being at blur and daze

 I try to keep on writing every week even though I don't know what to write. I feel a bit at a blur sometimes. Not in tune with anything. I certainly do feel happier at the hospital with S and now E joining the crew. We had late lunch together and went out to Friday lunch together. S searching for me to just tell her story was just so happy for someone to do that to me. I feel I have friends and people who need me. Something I realised now I didn't have at the clinic.

My family & I went for a dinner at the Pakistani restaurant yesterday. I got to talk a lot in the car and it feels like I certainly do miss the talks especially with my sister. Thursday was hari Malaysia and guess what this week requirement went so well and we decided Thursday is our day off and the whole weekend Alhamdulillah.

I feel that pang of sadness when I see that person and how the person treats others but me differently. I hope it goes away. I really do. I'm worth much more than this. I do.

3 days off,

TGiaH

The 1 month mark (hospital attachment)

One month has passed. This week was good. Made new friends. I feel happy at work though stress is non-nego. The Thursday DD indent day was super busyy. But also the sweetest day. The first time I saw the hospital store and red newborns. My heart just went aww.

Me & my twin. Im really glad, grateful I have her. Hopefully next week is better, so I can get the Thursday off!

On the phone,

TGiaH

Merdeka at hospital.

 Sleepy. Basically I work from Sunday until Saturday this week. Chasing counseling for logbook. Overall, I'm grateful for this week. Manage to go to kk on Friday. Farewell food for Cik A & kak F whom coming to HPJ. Last week, I did went to Alamanda to the book store. It revive me weirdly.

Still need to fold my clothes.

Sleepy sa,

TGiaH

First week hospital attachment

 Alhamdulillah, this week was my first week for hospital attachment. You know what? It's been so smooth Alhamdulillah that I kept saying Alhamdulillah. I hope the future weeks are also like this. I'm still behind a bit for screening and counselling but hopefully I can catch up with the upcoming weeks. Ya Allah, I really hope I can complete my logbook. I meet S, who I can get along quite well. And J being so helpful with us too. 

This weekend was a bit of a drama. I left the group chat because I know it's the right decision for disciplining myself and avoiding the triggers that make me sad. Now, I need to make a new healthy routine for myself which includes writing my journal. I really need some self focusing activities. I need more self-love. And minimise kpop, please? I have to brain wash myself again. 

I need to pump up some adrenaline with some exercise and tidy my cluttered room back.

Tata,

TGiaH

A 7 hours long class + Grocery shopping alone.

 I'm super lazy to write and guess what the sigma class has a 7 hours long class. Aigoo. Just have way through it. I managed to get my usual work done, clean the desk and sheets. Ahh I can't wait for Muharram's holiday next Tuesday. My body doesn't feel that good macam angin. I ate durian & cempedak uite a bit plus feeling sleepy from it. Doing work makes me feel better.

I went aeon alamanda last Thursday. I guess I'm a grown up now shopping groceries on my own. But carrying the heavy groceries are not fun. Huhu. My arms was sores until yesterday. Did I mention I got meninggococcal vaccine the Friday? Oh and this week there's a new prp in. I hope I taught him well. A week left until my hospital attachment. Yikes!

Gotta go maghrib,

TGiaH

Opps. I miss 2 blog updates.

 It's August already. Phew. I'm scared. This week was the last for my DIS attachment. Oh boy, this week was a roller coaster. With going back & forth Bangi cause one my housemate is quarantine-ing and then suddenly one the staff is positive to the stress of handling UMP. To being okay then down. Feeling upset about prp A until today. My body is feeling like a slump. And I still wish weekends are longer.

Some noticeable incidents this week:

- the lady with no fingers

- one young pt in his twenties and one old patient is 70s just got their anti-htn meds

Reflection: The gift of health & jodoh.

I just wanna go lay down,

TGiaH

A small gesture

I wanna be in bed. Just wanna say thank you to whom yang said hi to me when I'm a bit down. Thank you.

First week back at KK & still no viva

 I don't know what's wrong with me being such a sleepyhead. Literally I sleep a lott. I think I have too much sleep in my system. Anyhow, this week was the the week I'm back at the clinic. I'm having my DIS attachment now and so far okay. DIS doesn't require much work. Anyhow I had the evening syifs. At Monday, I had one. So I did place my dental appointment Monday for scaling. It was painful a bit and I bleed. Even after gargling it was still pink. I felt rather happy working that Monday too. Thursday was another day of evening syif, the last for a while since they changed the operation hours. I had a little anxiety over thinking I don't know much about stor. Anyhow, the Friday I did race during lunch going there. I really hope I can ace my viva probably next week. Aamiin.

Viva oh viva,

TGiaH

In the office

I'm typing from my office computer. Hicks. >< I arrived early from my home2 at Bangi. I was feeling rather down yesterday after work and I wanna get hugs. Hence, I drove home. I don't regret going back home, it made me feel better. A good divergent for me to detach & reprioritise. Though I do feel I tang of sadness & weakness when I hug my dad this morning. On my way to work, I just recite the selawat & I feel some strength seeping back in. Alhamdulillah. I might go back home again today. We'll see. 

Detach, let go.

TGiaH

Feeling neutral but sometimes sad..

 The 3rd week at PKD and next week will be the last. How time flies. Yet again, I don't feel like blogging. I miss talking to my friend a lot. This feeling mainly due to my period which sucks. I'm gonna try to keep my hands to myself this upcoming week. 

Kak A transferred to KKP9 for a while sadly. Hopefully first of July I get to drive her again. This week been folding aprons. I went to KKP9 with Puan S for store verification & she bought me nasi kerabu which is so kind of her. I had a full day at KKP18 and the job reminds me when I was working back at FN. Life goes on ey?

Sore,

TGiaH

A cat's poop on my bed and another adulting step to adulthood.

 Yeah. I'm freaking lazy to write this and just wanna be on my phone in bed. Lol. I just yawn. Another lol. So this week I received my salary Alhamdulillah. Made a budget and distributed accordingly. I catched on KKDI class while working on packing. Listening to something helps me stay awake at work. Despite I have full 7 hours sleep. I still get sleepy. Haha. 

Friday was eventful. Basically

- afternoon syif

- morning trying to get the takaful med exam done (didn't get it done, but called the clinic panel for next day)

- made a new friend aka my uni senior

- off from pkd at 4.51 pm speed drive to kkp9 arrived at 5.00 pm and running up the stairs with my baju kurung

- back home eating Secret's Recipe fish and chips

Then Saturday came,

- got the exam done

- from Putrajaya with yogurt for breakfast 5 minutes late for my dentist appointment

- finally a full meal of nasi arab after

- went to dobi with S

Sunday

-  slept in

- got my cpd done except can't upload today

- helped my dad cook

- sent my the takaful permission thingy

About talking with him. I try to incorporate as much positive thinking. It makes me feel better. Although kinda false hope. Like perhaps he wanna talk to me later. And he is busy so I should be understanding. I'm confuse if I should keep talking or not. Huuu. I shouldn't make such loose timeline. Anyway, I'm bearing the price.

Need to gets a bit of notes done,

TGiaH

First week at PKD. I made donuts again. Last week's story.

 So... I forgot to blog last week. So a few things I did was contacting back the guy, tried counselling (was awkward, english and unhelpful), help with nasi arab dulang, catched on KKDI class and donuts again. It was my first week of my stor attachment. It was boring. I did a few work here and there and study the most (unfortunately the notes didn't help, I need to redo it). Anyway, that's a short recap. Now onto another blog post.

Just wanna be in bed,

TGiaH

Driving on the highway + I made donuts.

I don't know why life seems boring nowadays. I just have one less thing to expect in the week but boy I need a new interest. I did watch a few movies for a start. Me Before You is kinda good to rewatch last week. I consider Netflix but not yet. I do need to study more but nothing sticks on my brain. Huhu. 

I'm writing on a Monday since it's public holiday (Yang diPertuan Agong's birthday). I do look forward to holidays though I don't know what to do. Writing has always been a therapeutic thing to do. Hence, writing this every week is a thing I can look forward to. 

Last week I drove on a busy road (highway) back home around 5 to 6. Alhamdulillah I made it back home safely. An achievement unlocked though my hands are still shivers a bit.

Tonight, I'm left with studying pharmacy. Boy, I'm bored. Oh I made doughnuts today out of boredom. It was decent. Next time, better In Sha Allah. 

Bored. Huhu.

TGiaH

PKP Total Lockdown again

 I didn't realised I didn't blogged last week. Btw, I drove my car to work and last week I drove to Putrajaya with my adik and dad. And the very Friday I drove back alone and I arrived safely Alhamdulillah. There weren't many cars for a start which highly help. A recap of last weekend. I helped my family with almost 20+ orders last week and signed up for takaful (still need to settle some strings left). 

The cases are increasing rapidly to up to 9k yesterday and possibly 10k. Huhu. I'm glad I'm vaccinated hence I can come back to Bangi with less worries (that I don't spread to others). I hope this gets better.

A has been distant lately, seeing how A prioritizes things make me more sure to step back and redefine the level of friendship. I'll lose another connection but also an absent friend so should be fine eventually. Though I keep crying every other hour but what can do. I made my choice and I have to pay for the detachment. Trying to find new things that are interesting and keep me busy. 

Palestine have been in the news this month. I'm trying to educate myself little by little. There's so much I don't know. I feel a bit better now. Maybe I can do a bit of self invest this afternoon. Anyhow, I still need to settle a bit of my work but zohr first.

2nd vaccine dose + Last days of Ramadhan + Eid Fitr featuring PKP

 I only work 1 day this week but still I don't feel like going to work on next week. Huhu. I had my second dose the Monday. With the suddent validation assessment and our pf was so kind with giving us a pass. I didn't feel a slight ringan kepala that day. Fever, body ache the next day. Tuesday was also the day I got my car. Bought the insurance the very morning got it in time for the jpj ownership transfer and road tax. Got the car the afternoon. However, my dad & I somehow didn't properly check the car where the front bumper is slightly off oh dear us. But I was sick that day and I just followed my dad. 

Wednesday prepare a bit for eid. This year we had 2 rendangs plus kuah nasi impit daging. Eid prayer at home with H as khatib and my dad as imam. I slept the afternoon because I barely slept the night before talking to A. I need some self discipline. Yikes. Second day of eid was Jumaah day. The first day I bought my car on a drive around the neighbourhood. I still need to practice my adjustment. Yesterday night I spent my night calling with Kiara. Talking to her made me so much better. And Sunday came. Huhu. I wanted to study but ended up helping my mom. This week I did spent time cleaning the house (the fridge included) and studied a bit here and there. I wish I spent a bit more time. This afternoon going to shop some things I needed. But I want to hibernate. 

Happy eid,

TGiaH

Productive week but still no validation

This week overall I think I did a lot things done regarding my logbook. I even started to try the dis enquiry thingy. It was a great week because I'm starting to get comfortable on my own again instead of having someone on my side.

The afternoon today, I decided to walk away aka ghosting. At first, I thought of having more self discipline and stop being anxious waiting also happy talking. Then, I thought it's gonna end anyways and it seem perfect & unsuspicious. He's busy for sure & perhaps this way he wouldn't notice I'm gone thus him not gonna be sad. I'm fine mostly but I did cry hard just now. It's exhausting having to deal with so much sadness & hurt. But I think this is the best decision to please Allah, right?

Still I hope I can get through this,

TGiaH

Almost 1 month + car search

 Tonight the 21st of Ramadhan. How time flies. I just got my period in time. Alhamdulillah so so much that I finished khatam al-Qur'an today. I can't believe I read 10 juz per week. Allahuu. So so grateful.

This week has been a quite discipline week. I can't believe I have the kind of discipline/restraint. Or it's just sometimes I forgot. But it's tough because I've been combating the reality of parting which never fails to make me cry. I also notice I don't want to talk about things that make me sad if I don't think I can stop myself from crying. 

I got to room to myself most of the week. And the dishes I bought from home (rendang with 4 pieces of chicken) lasted my until Friday. The highlight meal was having buffet with the staffs while most single staffs somehow girl classified. 

Thursday was holiday day. Holidays certainly the time of the week that I can't wait about. Nuzul Qu'ran day. I set up my stash away simple account that day. I did wahed last week. And deposited some gold too. So grateful I can diversify my portfolio and into syariah compliance investments. Though stash away simple I'll probably treat as high interest savings accounts instead of investments. Still newbie and so much more to learn.

I also spent so much time researching on buying a car. I prayed for an easy solution. Though I did strategies a plan. Second hand and also grad scheme and rent room for June. I don't know how much more Allah has blessed me and keep on blessing me with so so many things I should be more grateful. At Friday, my dad whatsapp me that his friend, L found a suitable car. Today we went to see Alhamdulillah it seem so perfect and I hope it this is really the best for me, for Allah to continue make it easy for me. We did also go to a few used car places yesterday which taught me a lot.

Okay, that's pretty much it for this week. 

To making the most of the last 10 nights,

TGiaH

The 1st dose of vaccine

Waiting is a torture. Lol. Anyhow, here's a recap of this week!

Monday - Cut of the pink bracelet, first dose vaccine. Everything was so systemic maybe because it's Putrajaya. Went to work at lunch and at 4 went to make our ID at P9. Starting to feel the pain, sore, demam2 manja. Studied that night.

Tuesday - Had pcm that sahur lasted until noon. Afternoon felt super tired but managed with 3 days afternoon in P9. Sleept early

Wednesday - Totally better. But I was a lil bit bit down though. Cooked mushroom soup.

Thursday - Had assessment. Last day afternoon shift. Bought ayam masak kicap from P9 food court and cooked mushroom goreng tepung.

Friday - Had a surprise assessment. Write in an ADR and went to P3 for unit inspection. And I left my keys in my room. Opps. First day tarawikh at surau.

Saturday - Dentist appointment day. Slept in pretty much the day. Kak A & her family come.

Sunday - Was a crying mess watching Jenn Im's vid. Read & did some Qur'an lesson. Need to finish by Juz 20 today.

Well, this is a lazy update

TGiaH

Surprises + pink bracelet.

Second week of PRP. Monday was definitely a surprise when our pfym asked us to start do dispensing & filling. Oh la la. Alhamdulillah, I grew better in doing it (or at least I think so). 

Then, thursday came while I was went out to the bank at lunch break there was a sudden news break out that there are covid cases from our PTM place. But we still work until they told us to quarantine & swab test by isya'. 

So Friday was a day off yipee. And we got our pink (quarantine) bracelet after the test. 

I spent the weekend pretty much settling last week's things like cgso, scan & also log book but a lot more talking with A. I also got the test result on Sunday which was negative. Alhamdulillah.

Post-vaccine second day tiredness, fatigue, slight fever, body pain.

TGiaH

PTM & first day as PRP

I know. I'm super late. What can do (though it's still kinda my fault). Still I'm here. Today is the second week of PRP & 2nd week of Ramadhan. 

Last week, I had my PTM & first officiallsss dayy. PTM was quite interesting to be honest. I get to taste some good hotel view, comfiesst bed that can make me fall asleep within seconds and I get to spend time with K. Btw, I almost cried when we hugged goodbye. Huhu. Ohh plus, the test was a straight copy so obviously it's easy. 

Then, the first day come. The funny thing is how is that after the PTM I got to know there was another PRP. 🤣 Anyhow, I still managed to get contact with her. Then, we went to JKWP at KL in the morning of our first day only to find out we had to 'lapor diri' at our own JKD. Haha. Still, she is kind & I'm grateful for all the kind staffs. 

Later in the afternoon, we arrived and while waiting everyone ask us to go to lunch first and we did (not straight to work). After the lunch break, we meet our PFYM. She was kind & joyful. After that, we started filling. I was still very productive arriving home, cleaning & stuff. And that was the end of the day. This week, hopefully I will blog. Though I have so many things to get done.

Writing on my phone,

TGiaH

Covid Swab Test

 It was so late at night yesterday that I decided to not blog. So I haven't yet write my continuation post for the series. Anyhow, I did my covid swab test today! I went with L & H. I thought it was gonna be awkward but it turn out okay. I even had breakfast at mamat with them (unplanned). 

At KK Semenyih, I made a new friend. A soon to be houseman at HPj. Who expected the doctors to have the same ptm date as ours? Anyhow, we arrived at 8 but they told us the test starts at 9 (which is why we decided to go to mamak's). It was a long queue starting at 9 fifteen. Until H & I went to our seats. L finished his quite fast so he had to wait for us. But the problem is watching others did the test made us nervous. Does it hurt? Some even gag & the kids cried. 

Soon it was my turn. I gave the officer my card number & ic, sit down on the chair, pull my mask. I already opened my mouth, but was asked to open wider and the attack begin. XD The Dr went in with the long cotton bud onto my throat and circle really really circle it a few times. I just hold my gag reflex in. Then, the nose attack. Wow. I thought it was deep enough but nope it probably reach behind my eyeballs. Lol. I think I close my eyes. My head was in an up straight position. Then, it was done! I got to the PLPP with the kind gracious help of L sending me there. 

When then, during the program I lost my phone. Haha. Of course, I left it somewhere. When I got it back and checked my messages. A said she was tested positive. That definitely gave us a bit of a surprised because of the consequences of that. Her intake was pushed back. Huhu. For me, I'm scared I'll trouble everyone if I was positive. I am a positive person, but definitely not this! Everyone in the program will be affected. And the guys that carpool with me. Oh Allah, please please please I don't want to bring hardship to anyone because of me. 

Checking something of the covid bucket list?

TGiaH

Living on My Own Series: Room Hunting

 I'm awake a bit. Haha. 

Today I finally put in the deposit for the room I wanted to rent, my home for 1 year In Sha Allah. From contacting a list of people of Facebook, Mudah & Telegram to making a comparison list to visiting the rooms.

At first, I tried to contact the number I found on Mudah. Then I found the nearest apartment to my work place. A walking distance one! Alhamdulillah. So I searched up rooms available at the apartment. I had a list of 9 numbers. Then narrowed down to 5. All has it pros and cons though I was bit biased to one. 

I made a list as below! Room number 1 was attractive due to space and luxury feel though it's more expensive while 2 was attractive because of the chance of decorating my space as well as the lower rent but of course smaller space.

I went to visit room 1 (C) and 3 (A) last Sunday. Room 1 was definitely the most expensive feel while 3 has the school dorm feel which was unattractive to me. Of course, I check the lights, the water pressure, the vibes, people and all. 

I went again on Monday night visit room 6 (B), 2 (D) and 9 (F). Room 6 was well furnished but expensive to me due to 2 months depo and the tenant was more than room 2. Room 2 lack a bit in some terms but I'm willing to compromise. A bonus point is that the housemate of room 2 looks concern about her aurat more than the other homes. While room 9 definitely gave me a mini heart attack. At first it is not attractive much due to 3 ppl sharing the master bedroom and a single closet for all three. But the place was a mess. The tenants were nice and talkative but I don't think I'm comfortable with the shorts shorts or the joke about virginity. 

Anyhow, after consideration about furniture and discussion with the house manager, I set my heart of room 2 (D). I did istikharah as well. Hope it serves as a great new home and start for me.

Note: 1 month depo, maintanence fee, surat aku janji, rent payment before 10 hb and receipts

Now for furniture hunt (shopping!).  And I still way back on studying. Hope I can do well. Aamiin.

Shopping. Ugh.

TGiaH

Jeng jengg. PRP Placement day!

My first class I've taught & it's online!

So today I finally started teaching (on the 4th day of work). I'm actually rather sleepy but Idk why I browsing my phone, delaying my time instead of immediately writing. Anyway, I didn't prepare much because I just want to get to know the students. But I did prepare a backdrop and intro music.

The first class definitely left me miserable due to the lack of enthusiasm of the students. Ugh. I'm such a spoilt teacher aren't I. Anyhow, at least there 2 students in. One was non-verbal (or simply prefer not to talk) but still sweet and the other looks like he doesn't want be there. Poor thing. The session ended after 20 minutes. And I forgot to take picture for proof. 

I felt a bit discourage but I talk to A, and she mentioned about my profile pic which is so sweet I might keep the profile pic. Thank you, A!

The second class was definitely a million times better. Husna was such a sweetheart and smart. She kept on the time and knows the alphabet. I did plan to have a short class but it definitely ended in an hour because of her. Of course like I expected she had a short attention span but I managed to get her together by letting her play some songs for the class. Hafiz is another sweetheart. He definitely is quite smart by able to repeat everything in his own way. His mom is angel, helping her child with the class. 

Just by 2 class, I learn much what more might these next six weeks might bring?

Bismillah,

TGiaH

I've passed my driving test! Alhamdulillah.

 I did my test yesterday. I did everything fairly fine but I have to says it is because Allah really ease me this. My duas were answered exactly. Now I just need to register my driving license and practice a bit more! I'm feeling a lot better with my anxiety and sore gone. 

Tomorrow I have a job interview. I haven't studied yet. Hope it goes well. Aamiin. 

Gotta go,

TGiaH

The nerves of taking a driving test.

 I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I'm overthinking. Sadly but that's the truth. This past week since Monday, I've been thru positive and down episodes of passing the test. But I have to assure I'm doing the best I can and really truly believe that Allah gives what is best for me whatever that is. I fasted, I practiced, I prayed tahajud, istikharah, journalled, asking dua for my friend. I made a nazar to fast 3 days non continous if I pass the test. After the test, I want to rest. I want to stop feeling anxious. Feeling lighter finally. In Sha Allah.

Oh Allah,

I pray that I pass my jpj test on 2nd of March 2021

- That I am able to do every element properly, correctly without any mistakes.

- That I am able to do the test feeling calm and full reliance on Allah.

- That the jpj officers are kind and digerakkan hati to pass me the test (lulus jpj).

- That I deliver a clear speech without stutter.

- That someone kind will help me to put the steering knob securely.

- That I will gain confidence and peace from my extra class tomorrow.

- That my teacher will have sabar and talk nicely to me.

With passing this test, I'm grateful thankful that Allah always ease my affairs and allow me to help my family by having me to drive. And be the happy cheerful person I am. 

Please, Oh Allah. I'm desperate.

TGiaH

A Date + Overcoming My Fear

I decided to not write yesterday as I felt tired after a trip out eating with my friend (a staff at FN). Her words was jom dating. Haha. Alhamdulillah, I'm grateful of having friends, good people. Thought post trip, I did reflect a lot on my verbal skills. I hope I improve more and grow more mature in my selection of words and tone over time.

I thought of staying in bed early and sleep early. Instead I ended staying up later than usual. I was taking in my fears and talking to Allah about it. It was torturous but I got a lot off my chest which was the whole purpose of it. I don't remember the last time I cried so hard that my face was drench. Haha. I still feel down and worse when my teacher suddenly call talking about my driving test. (Writing the previous sentence gave me the scares just now.) Anyhow, I did some journaling before I started blogging. (I read back again and it gave my so much strength). The journal entry was positive, fearless. Describes how my life is under Allah's control. He is my rabb, my lord, my khaleq. And how I'm able to overcome this. 

What's the purpose of fear? Putting that question and remembering the answer gave my strength. Reminded me of how positive and strong I usual was. Slowly I can build up my threshold again. Biiznillah.

I can, indeed I can. No doubt.

TGiaH

Watching Wall-E

Today I cooked a dish for my family. It is one of those nothing barely in the kitchen but turns out yummy kinda dish which Alhamdulillah made me so so happy. I also helped with some orders and cleaning as usyal.

These days I'm into this Harry Potter kinda games which is so cool because it's like an adventure. Oww how I wish sometimes I can experience that kind of wizardry awesome world. Anyhow it's that kind of game that we have to wait longgg to go to the next chapter which Alhamdulillah is good as it curbs my gaming appetite.

I aldo found out that making a mini to do list the day before helps me a lot the next day. Like I actually look forward and find my life meaningful. Hehe. 

Another thing I did today is that I watched Wall-E. I actually wanted to watch Fantastic Beast but taught I should probably save it for another day. Anyhow, I vaguely remember the first and last time (before this round) was during my year 6 primary school school festival. I remember being so excited and emotional over it. Other than that, I don't really remember. 

Watching it again after almost 13 years, this movie has so many things I could learn. Like how life must've been with Wall-E on his own (this hits me because it made me so single), the whole romance is so ughh cute and innocent from this I reminded of the movie The Passenger. It is important isn't it to have a life partner? Another is how important work is for us. Like ughh sitting around no need chewing, walking of sorts? Leaving us with bunch of overloaded fats. Hence, I am grateful for working.

Anyhow, I submitted another resume. If it's the best, Allah knows either way.

So singleee,

TGiaH

P/S: I just remember today's Valentine. Lol. After looking at Instagram.

Virtual convocation?

Today something funny happened. IIUM announce a virtual convocation for us but suddenly saying the announcement was a mistake. Lol. I don't how I really feel about a virtual convocation. I think I feel fine or a bit relieved because I don't like going up the stage or having to pose for pictures. I just want some tulips. Lol. And feel how holding a robe & scroll feels. 

I guess there's little hope for a real convocation despite having the survey to postpone. Anyway, Allah knows best. Having me finishing my studies in pharmacy is soo a miracle which I should always be grateful and thankful. Alhamdulillah.

I decided to apply for a job. I'm kinda positive I'll get in. But again, Allah plans whatever it will be the best. I'm so feeling monotonous these past few days except Friday where I was hype up having interview and yesterday from meeting the staffs from FN. 

I'm suddenly reminding of my father's health. Sometimes it seems it would be counting days judging from his overworked body. Idk if I'm ever ready for the time comes or I even doing a good job as a daughter. Sometimes I do feel pathetic. I wish there's much more I can do. But also I just feel I'm not doing my best.

Okay la. I should go.

Don't ever think you're not,

TGiaH

To work or not work.

It's one day before the last of January. Been one month since I stayed at home. I learned, I read, I rest, I take care of myself, and also been tidying, cleaning and organising more this past week. Tomorrow, I'll be cleaning my room and my monthly self cleaning. Lol.

I'm super proud of finishing more than 3 books this month. More because I focused more on self-development books. Also, I've been more consistent in my journaling which helps even a little.

I would love to get back to work but I'm a still a little cautious about my mental health. I want the money and time away from home. But I also kinda want something like work from home job. I like spending time in my room. But also, I find it super helpful to spend time outside in the sun. Did I mentioned I spend 30 miniutes of my evening outside reading on my Crema? Gosh. I love my ebook reader. It have been so helpful so far. 

I should probably get back on my Quran lesson tomorrow. I promised myself to do at least once a month. But I guess it's not very successful.

I cooked dinner just now. The air fryer is so helpful Alhamdulillah. I have been able to save time cooking. And it's also healthier. Hehe.

 I guess my purchase have been good investment In Sha Allah. Ahh. I should take note on making my purchases investment worthy. Nice!

January 2021,

TGiaH

MCO 2.0

So here's the big bang. Haha. I forgot to update. The results? My driving class & test got postponed which I expected. I accepted it as it as but tbh I am a little dissapointed. But I try to pujuk myself saying Allah knows best, he is the best planner. When the test comes, I definitely ace it In Sha Allah. That's why I have a bunch of time I've been a little lost on what I wanna do with it. I'm bored but I don't have a goal which is bad for me. Hence, I'm blogging. But also I realise I'm lazy. Huhu.

I guess that's that.

Pujuk,

TGiaH

My first gold & silver, my first investment.

 Actually at my last post I just ordered my first physical gold & silver. It's probably the only one I will own for a while since I'll be focusing more on my gold account (the gold is cheaper there). I did my research a bit though I hope I knew more. I think this is a good long term investment still with the inflation rate.

I fdid open a second account where I found a reputable syariah compliant company as well as have a better spread value. Also, it offers plans that perhaps I can gain a few dollars (short term gold investments). As I'm not working right now, I hope this serves as a source of income as well as a passive income when I'm working. I still need to my work of how gold works and things which made me dizzy with all the filler informations ><. But still it's a work in progress.

I have quite a number of things I need to purchase this month that why's I'm hoping my money is able to grow a bit. Anyhow, Alhamdulillah I'm glad I'm blogging.

A part of growing up,

TGiaH

Happy 2021

This year, is different. I didn't really feel the change of the year. Just the next day, next day and next. I haven't updated my vision board or setup my word of the year (I forgot what last year's was), my focus, resolutions and goals.

I've been busy resting (or maybe nesting in my habitat) and emerge in a class that helped me self -discover and grow. Alhamdulillah. I still haven't finish my class hopefully soon. Haven't finish adding the last touches to my resume and hadn't done my brain dump today. I haven't also finish reading the chapter in the book. I did quite a few things today though that perhaps I write down later.

I did some baking with my sister yesterday (just cake batik lol) and today everyone in my family is fasting. Alhamdulillah. Another thing recently I started to wanting an ebook reader which I hope what I'm gonna purchase is a good bargain In Sha Allah. 

Anyhow, I got to keep going (help pack the products).

Happy 2021, the 1st to many,

TGiaH