Not ready yet.

Some of you may be guessing that I'm gonna write about my finals by looking at the title. But na-uh. You are wrong. (Like literally does anyone reads my blog besides me? Haha.)

Rewinding back a few days ago...
My father sent pictures of my cousins new born child to my family WhatsApp group.
I was like "Comelnya.." With flying kiss emoji and so on.
Then!!
My dad: "Teringin pulak ada cucu sendiri.. Hihi. *smiley face*"
Me, in the middle of the night, baru buka WhatsApp: Nononononono!! Nightmare.
Then, at 2 a.m.
My mom: "Comel sangat. Akak Abah nak cucu sendiri he he he"
Me, was like asdfvghbjj. I'm not gonna sleep tonight. Like I literally blue tick their message. And not reply. (Cause I don't know what to).

Like the whole situation is asdghnklhv. (I'm not swearing btw, I just do not how to express it.)
Like of course, what I'm suppose to reply when someone sends a baby pic? Hodohnya. Am I supposed to react like that? It doesn't mean that I commenting "how cute" means I wanna have a baby soon. Like I know, my parents are almost 50. And I know, I'm the first child. And I know, both of my parents are the youngest of both siblings. The situation doesn't help much. And I so how know, my father is kidding with me. (And the fact, my mom too. And the creepy smiley face too.) Although they "saje-mengusik", it doesn't help that in reality they do give a green light, if I wanna get married. Like this instance.

IT.IS.SCARY.

Like I'm barely 20 years old (still 19, in fact. Official on 24th of this December). I'm not ready. And what makes me so asdghnklhv is that...

A few days before this conversation...
Late at night, hanging and talking with my roommates.
After the lepak... In my mind, flashes back what my roommate just said "We are 20, and we need to start to think about our jodoh." Like, rupa-rupanya quite a number of my batch already 'have' their other half. Even not official. I was like "I dah tua" and "I'm gonna be a loner". Repeating in my mind 20 times.

And the funny thing is in someway I still have a mindset of a school kid that just thinks about excel in  studying for God's Sake!! Haha. It's not bad. But... Okay, it is bad. I'm not a school kid anymore.

But thinking of jodoh for me is like this. If you like me, just ask me and if you are a good guy, I will most probably say yes. Cause I will most probably like the person that likes me (kes tak pernah kena confess). But, but, but if you agree to respect my parents and ask them first. (And also get married right away. Like if you both like each other. Why not? But still, during my studies... I just wanna try out living out as a couple but not official living in one house, but still in the status of marriage). But thinking back.. I'm not ready to be a good or at least a decent wife. And what more of a mother. *cries* *laughing*

In the end...
Me, next morning : Kata kat bdk baru habis bljr tu. (Refering tu my adik utk kahwin dulu.)
My dad: Haha...

But seriously, if you don't want me to go on a panic attack. Don't kid me like this.

I'm being ridiculous, I know,

The Girl in A Hood

P/S No 1: Pray, I'm not single sampai ke tua.
P/S No 2: I think my page view just broke. It says there are 53 views today. Which in my mind... Who in the hell, reads my blog besides me?