Aidil fitri 1444H, a passed away, taaruf-ing still?

Today seems like a more positive day. Hehe. Took my time a liland still manage to come in to work 8.50 ish. Now at FAA. Been missing last week post. Well. it's eid & I was at Kedah.

Ramadhan recap: I managed to finish the Qu'ran. Got 12 days fasting to pay back. Ahh whatsapp my roommie S, so kokokok. Hmm. Serabut sikit kepala.

Mak Lang passed away on first night of Syawal so we had to go back to Kedah. Kedah.. After so long. No eid celeb, no eid clothes, eid prayer on the road, just family together and eid food potluck. The way I like it. Mak Lang bought us together on eid at Kedah. Then, 2nd syawal until the day of work (night time) just raya thingys. Haha. Tired and feeling like I need a social break.

Oh I managed my first raya ootd. *pat in the back*

How's taaruf-ing? I feel calmer now. Didn't expect him to actually text on the 20th April. Guess the taarufing game is still on. Hmm. Let's follow the flow for now. Just I noticed he noticed the time we didn't text + a lil awkward on starting the conversation. So now back to neutral. 

Okay la. Toilet break. 

TGiaH

Taaruf part 6 update / last of Ramadhan.

I teared up just now. Ughh. It's just unfair for me. I prayed for my jodoh to be soften his heart whoever he is, but ends up I'm the one who gets my heart softens. Ahhh. S oh s. Whyy. I even ask advice from a coworker. My private life exposed. Kukuku. It's been almost 1 week since we've talked. Will that our last talk or will it to be continued? My head already planning to wish raya while my heart said oh don't ever go there missy. Logically there's nothing wrong to try though I'm confused whether he's interested or not, probably cause he's confused himself. There's no reason to say no. Ouch. Straight truth. Except his unreadiness.

Just to put a lil timestamp:

10 Mac 2023: First whatsapp

12 April 2023: First meetup

15 April 2023: Last text

This difficult Ramadhan is coming to a near end. Sadd. Huhu. Certainly difficult with me being so stressed then crying then 2 times period, depressed for not being to khatam al-Qur'an. 1st period 1st night after tarawikh then the 4 in the morning of 27th. Alhamdulillah today, somehow somehow manage to 1 hour period break. I'm never gonna give it easy next Ramadhan. Idk why I was so sure that my period gonna be 30days apart. The precious 2 days. 

First raya with cookies I bought and duit raya for the kids. Giving 1k for my family. Ahh. I do feel I lack adaah this ramadhan. My father huhu he makes me worry. Oh Allah grant my parents, my family good health. I need to tidy my room.. Manage my finance tracking, putting eid money. O last night the standing fan stopped working at 2, maybe a sign for me to make doa. This ramadhan, a lot of jodoh direction doa. Have my heart been opened to a new adveture?

Will see,

TGiaH

Taarufing. Will this even end? Mid Ramadhan.

Idk how to say. I thought today was gonna be the last day of my misery. But Allah says other wise. Huhu. Sampai hati Allah seksa ana camni. All in Allah's plan. I was hoping he spared me a few minutes of his time. Again, who am I? Tingling of my old friend, pain. Allah forgive me. Idk still either this continues or end 

1 ramadhan & I'm my 17th juz. Alhamdulillah. Had a facial at cuura this week and iftar with F. Had a family iftar on my mother's side here at our house, officiated the vietnamese coffee at midnight. But well, I went in to sleep early cause I worked today. Work was nice Alhamdulillah.

Raamadhan is nearing the end. Ahh. It's gonna be nice.

Allah, direct to what's good for me,

TGiaH

Taaruf? Okay lahh. Depressed + tired. A night over the police station.

Who says taaruf-ing is fun? Well, this week I'm depressed and tired. Took a few days gap between chating though everything I initiate. He does sambut though and still quite consistent with his replies. So yeahh. 1 week left. 7 days count down to the end.

Been talking to Allah a lot, how tired and exhausting the process is and how I wish the person is sincere too and have the same intentions, values, goals etc. But yeahh, life not that easyy.

Ibu got into an accident last jumaah. Thought nothing serious until my sis told she's bleeding (lips), shoot I took off from the office. Ibu was okay (Dr checked), a night over at the police station, morning at the police station. Worked both saturday & sunday. Lots of sleep. And yeahh tomorrow's monday.

Tadarus Qu'ran count: Juz 7. Ramadhan Day 11.

Allah, help me.

TGiaH