What's my fate?

I'm feeling a little lost, a little scared as my mind absorbs that this life is a just a tiny part of the length of time of actual life. I don't know what's on my mind. I am. Lost. With this upcoming placement war race, I can't help but feel like what I'm supposed to do? I want the new place to be gentle, kind, healthy for me, but I also want growth. I also want safe, for my family, for myself to work long long years ahead. I.. 

I've been busy over the weekend. Weddings, family, staff farewell. And I may or may not say a thing that I regret. Recording an unboxing, it slip out my tongue, making the gift less sincere. I went to the Dr's, regretted I didn't took the advantage of medical support for placement. All I know is I finished my report, slides and just a little left of my logbook. My 2026 vision board, I guess it's put aside, again. 

Doing the right thing or supposed thing, without eating up by guilt. Like I feel I should go to ds, as it's public holiday today & this upcoming Wednesday is a big thing.. But I feel like staring at the wall, deep in my thoughts, my world.

What should I do?

TGiaH