Done first tasmi' & being bold by posting on youtube.

Writing this now because I'm think I just wanna rest when I get home. Kk. Currently in the car with mom & dad. Just finish ziarah with mom's friend. Actually her ex-naqibah. Basically she want to see my disability as her role as a matchmaker. I'm not fan of the idea. But rather than the scammer tiktok guy, I have not much excuse for this. Do I really not want to be married? I don't know. 

This morning, finished with darussyifa' tasmi' Alhamdulillah. I. Was. Nervous. When it was time for me to started to recite. By now, I know the fear is because of shaming, critising I got during recitating & tasmi' Qu'ran when I was little. It is what it is. And I'm slowly learning to heal it. H ask for ice cream date for celebratory. We went to Mixue. A first for me. Alhamdulillah it was a nice sibling date. H seems happy. 

Yesterday had locum. Oh and the biggest BIGGEST thing I did is recording myself & posting it on Youtube. I did not expect my plan for vision board gonna go like this, but well keeping the goal, I need a simple system. Me just random talk then post it to Youtube, menumpang a space, facing head on my fears in this scary internet world. In my brain, no one looking at it. No one who I care looks at it, so okay la. And it's to practice my story telling skills. It's interesting to see, assess my talkings. Let's hope I don't say something dumb. 

Also, a cafe date after Friday lunch call. First to celsius coffee. Huhu. I don't enjoy the matcha anymore. Hmm. This week's bold decisions I took because I remind myself of my vision board. 

Hoping Allah protecting me through all,

TGiaH