I'm crying..

Allah, I'm scared, I'm hurt, I'm sad. I'm confused. Tears gently trickling my cheeks. I don't want this, why di I have to go thru this. I met a nice, honest man but can I really go through the challenges of him and with him? Is he sincere? Will he take care of me until jannah? He is of his own journey, but at this point of journey is this a good point to be with someone? One last taaruf, then decide. I'm feeling like a no. How Allah packages a bundle with beauty yet thorns. 

A second taaruf from 10 to 4. Haha. We really went open and deep, both serious talk on marriage. He's different from the first I met. Different vibe. Confident. Really a surprise. He's calmer than me. Would our life plans match? I don't know. Thank you to the taaruf cards, it was a good conversation. 

Topics - no sleep, assignments, relation with islam, me before you, 3 idiots, him yawning, no glasses comment, life after this, girls and boys, past experience and relationship, studies. 

Salute one thing, if you wanna know a guy just ask to see his social media. Haha. I'm surprise he's open about it. I'm just worried Allah, how my kids, my future generation. I want protection, I want kindness, I want jannah. 

First week of Ramadhan, yet again another test.

TGiaH