Not ready yet.

Some of you may be guessing that I'm gonna write about my finals by looking at the title. But na-uh. You are wrong. (Like literally does anyone reads my blog besides me? Haha.)

Rewinding back a few days ago...
My father sent pictures of my cousins new born child to my family WhatsApp group.
I was like "Comelnya.." With flying kiss emoji and so on.
Then!!
My dad: "Teringin pulak ada cucu sendiri.. Hihi. *smiley face*"
Me, in the middle of the night, baru buka WhatsApp: Nononononono!! Nightmare.
Then, at 2 a.m.
My mom: "Comel sangat. Akak Abah nak cucu sendiri he he he"
Me, was like asdfvghbjj. I'm not gonna sleep tonight. Like I literally blue tick their message. And not reply. (Cause I don't know what to).

Like the whole situation is asdghnklhv. (I'm not swearing btw, I just do not how to express it.)
Like of course, what I'm suppose to reply when someone sends a baby pic? Hodohnya. Am I supposed to react like that? It doesn't mean that I commenting "how cute" means I wanna have a baby soon. Like I know, my parents are almost 50. And I know, I'm the first child. And I know, both of my parents are the youngest of both siblings. The situation doesn't help much. And I so how know, my father is kidding with me. (And the fact, my mom too. And the creepy smiley face too.) Although they "saje-mengusik", it doesn't help that in reality they do give a green light, if I wanna get married. Like this instance.

IT.IS.SCARY.

Like I'm barely 20 years old (still 19, in fact. Official on 24th of this December). I'm not ready. And what makes me so asdghnklhv is that...

A few days before this conversation...
Late at night, hanging and talking with my roommates.
After the lepak... In my mind, flashes back what my roommate just said "We are 20, and we need to start to think about our jodoh." Like, rupa-rupanya quite a number of my batch already 'have' their other half. Even not official. I was like "I dah tua" and "I'm gonna be a loner". Repeating in my mind 20 times.

And the funny thing is in someway I still have a mindset of a school kid that just thinks about excel in  studying for God's Sake!! Haha. It's not bad. But... Okay, it is bad. I'm not a school kid anymore.

But thinking of jodoh for me is like this. If you like me, just ask me and if you are a good guy, I will most probably say yes. Cause I will most probably like the person that likes me (kes tak pernah kena confess). But, but, but if you agree to respect my parents and ask them first. (And also get married right away. Like if you both like each other. Why not? But still, during my studies... I just wanna try out living out as a couple but not official living in one house, but still in the status of marriage). But thinking back.. I'm not ready to be a good or at least a decent wife. And what more of a mother. *cries* *laughing*

In the end...
Me, next morning : Kata kat bdk baru habis bljr tu. (Refering tu my adik utk kahwin dulu.)
My dad: Haha...

But seriously, if you don't want me to go on a panic attack. Don't kid me like this.

I'm being ridiculous, I know,

The Girl in A Hood

P/S No 1: Pray, I'm not single sampai ke tua.
P/S No 2: I think my page view just broke. It says there are 53 views today. Which in my mind... Who in the hell, reads my blog besides me?

1st Year 1st Semester's Study Week

Final is coming, OMG. How time flies.

And how much I been missing writing my blog (I planning to update tomorrow, but...). Haha. 

Like literally I have so much to blog about. And maybe I will do a double update. *maybe*

Truthfully, I am bored of watching dramas, kpop and so on. So good thing for me as I'm supposed to be studying, which I did. #halfofthetime As I still watch anyways, as I don't know what to do during the in between study breaks. #ihavenolife

I am so nervous for the final. As looking at my not-so-bangga carry marks, I know I have to study hard. And.. Have more of pixies dust to score. My friends say I'm lucky for UNGS result as it was okay. Like I didn't expect I scored above average. (Keep it a secret please!). And so surprised that many claimed that none scored a perfect 4 flat for the UNGS. (I think there is a silent scorer in our batch). But looking at the quizzes results this semester, I was like.. Okay, I did so-so, just like last semester. And how come these kids are so good? Like are you guys born genius? #nampaksangatmarkahquiztuteruk 

But, well there's still hope. 

Actually, I wanna update about this. (Although a little childish. -.-)

My highlighters smells so gooood!! Like I literally just realize around 7.10 p.m ago that the recent brand new highlighters I bought from from FZ kiosk have their own fragrance. Like all the past few days, I was thinking why I smell something sweet, every time I study. When, I just thought of smelling the highlighters. Like the pink one smells strawberry-raspberry-soap, in between there (it makes me head aches when I tried to smell, and figure it out again). While the blue one, I still can't figure it out, but still smells nice.  But oooh.. My favorite one is the yellow one. Evonthough, yellow highlighter is the least favorite color I like to use. But the smell. It smells like banana chewing gum, guys!! It's smells sweet, yummy, and remind me of kids (I know, I'm weird). Haha. 

Okay, tu je nak update snanya. 

Bananananana~~~

The  Girl in A Hood

SUPERRR LAZY.

No kidding la.
Wish ada autogenerator dari otak terus ke blog.

Kes nak update, tapi malas.

Me

A whole load of junk.

Today, I bought...

CHIPS.
CHOCOLATE.
MAGGI.
OREO.

Tapi no nasi.

Case PMS, ke tak tau la.

Me

It is a blessing.

I'm here now in Lecture Hall 3, KOP, supposingly paying attention to this JATI's talk. Which is interesting for the future career prospect, but after accidentally Instagram-walking, to finding out a friend's blog, and suddenly came by my own (see the ridiculous relation). Haha.

I know I don't make most sense when writing (padah otak lagi laju dari jari), but writing blog is always enjoyable (even though, I didn't make up for most of my promises). But still I'm here.

This week been... A roller coaster ride to eternal sickness..

Okay, I'm was totally exaggerating there. Haha. But my health seriously main acah-acah compared to last week.

The moments:

"Oh my head, I need to sleep" #sleeps
"I think I'm having a fever" #holdshead #thensleep
"My nose is gonna break from all this transparent-not-so-hingus coming up from my nose" #ihadworsertimes #bynowhidungdahmengelupas
"Okay, I'm gonna sneeze." #turnheadstheotherway #somyfrienddoesnotgetinfected  "Nevermind, false alarm. " #turningbacktofacethem "Ahhhh-choo" #seriously?
"Uhuk-uhuk" #itwasallthetime2daysback #makesureeverywheregetsinfected #goodjob #maybeicanbethenextactorforHurexCapLimau #flipstudungwhilecoughingwithstyle

#hashtagaddict #kesianyangmembaca #notsokesian

And these are just some of it. So most of my weeks been sleeping, and being the non-compliant patient, refusing to take medication (way to go, future pharmacist), and lots of quizzes this week and the next. Not to mention, OSPE and 2 lab report next week. Still, for now, I feel well again. #tunggujelaesokkauu #sincerelyvirusandbacteria

Still, I'm really grateful for this week. And still hoping for the best. Someone else got worse. Like today, one of a known senior, had bacteria infection, which I just knew. The problem was the doctors didn't know either it was virus or bacteria at first. When it started, the doctors think it was virus infection as the demam kebah tak kebah (seriously reminds about me). Then, after administering antivirus medication, she got nanah around her cheeks. Then, the doctors change to Amoxicillin, where she said like she felt like electric current running around her limbs. And then, they change to new antibiotic, I presume. But, seriously after hearing this I felt really relieve that I didn't got sick like her, which might be difficult for her (May Allah give the best for her). (Btw, she happened to got this maybe due to her research on bacteria isolation from swamp. So there is no possible way to know maybe the bacteria is pathogenic. And the sad thing is they cannot know which bacteria infect her. Huhu.)

Okay, so what is this talk about?

The Girl in A Hood

A day of a run-away

I'm here. Again on the bus riding to the garden of virtue.

This past week has been stressful to be honest, with my results plunging, insufficient time to do things, and my health being main-main acah.

So I decided I need a short gateway from all this.

I went home.

Being home, with an I-didn't-start-yet-study-and-assignment wasn't so much of a run-away. 

But being home, made me realize I have so much other responsibility other than studies. I need to protect the close bonding with my family. And my adiks still need help in a way they realize or not.

My feelings was pulled up to the point that I cried yesterday. 

And mainly I cried cause studies cause I couldn't understand a thing I am suppose to study. It was like the feeling of having an unsolved jigsaw puzzle of billions pieces, and I just solved only a portion of it. And that also means I do not  know yet what the whole picture of the puzzle is about, and knowing I may not have time to finish it.

But, the embarrassing thing is I cried in front of my parents. Being the fragile me, my tears trickled down while my back of my head lies on my father's lap. Thinking about it again, flashes back me being as a child. Oh gosh, how much I think I have grown up, still in reality I am a child. Haha. 

A day of a run-away

Friday

7.30 p.m Arrive home with hugs.

8.00 p.m With a grumbling I-only-ate-breakfast stomach, made me search for food, only to know dinner isn't ready yet.

8.30 p.m Chatting with my introvert brother H, while helping him do his personality test.

9.30 p.m Ate dinner in front of the TV, watching Numbers with my adiks.

10.30 p.m My little sister S, arrive home with my father. With burgers. Tapi perut dah kenyang.

Saturday

7.30 a.m Breakfast at mamak with my fathers best friend (our whole family).

9.00 a.m Shower. Haha. And study with break here and there.

12.30 p.m Business management.

1.30 p.m Study.

2.30 p.m Lunch of masak lemak ketam, while having a chat with all.

3.30 p.m Study. I just had to finish that topic. >< (I was suppose to do my assignment by this time).

4.00 p.m Hanging out with my parents and adiks. (The crying incident.)

5.30 p.m Bowling. I lost. TT.TT

9.30 p.m Home having dinner of sup ketam.

10.30 p.m Business management with the help of my two youngest adiks, while me trying to start off my assignment that's due on Monday.

Sunday 

6.30 a.m Family subuh berjemaah.

7.00 a.m Had to finish L's unfinished work yesterday. (I didn't plan this)

8.15 a.m Eating pau and honey as breakfast with my father. And rushed to the bus terminal.

8.35 a.m The bus still there. Phew.

9.20 a.m Writing this, with the usual travel sickness. I hope I can do the assignment without me vomiting on this bus.

So that the timeline the run-away. Hashtag. On my iPhone.

Feeling a little better.
The Girl in A Hood.

Munch munch

It's been 3 weeks since our mid sem break. And I could feel the finals are nearing. Huwaa.

I'm at the library now, basically sneaking and munching free kerepok lekor I got from KOM's cafe. Yum2. *don't do this*

We had the morning session final lab for our PharmPract, and I must say is the most disoriented somehow, as they were too many prompt changes during the lab practices and also the easiest. Haha. Still, no PharmPract lab is easy. Basically at least 5 hours of research and pre-studies before going into that lab.

One thing, I always get frustrated in this lab is that it is like getting the recipe but with the list of ingredients but no steps to the cooking. Get it? I couldn't figure out other way to explain it. Still, I miss making emulsion and ointment for our lab. :(

Yesterday, was half-day class too. And I went here to do the research basically looking into the British Pharmacopoeia and searching for the non-existing United State Pharmacopoeia had already consume 2 hours of my precious time. No kidding. So I couldn't update my blog yesterday.

And hey, I bought a new basketball so I could play (eventhough my shooting skills are downgrading now. Like seriously.) And my one-week old sport shoes that I bought from ECM has already started to worn out. Like huhu. TT.TT

Next update, on EGM, IBG and MMD. I wish. Haha.

Oh and pray for my luck for tomorrow's *killing* PharmPract quiz.

Totally random,

The Girl in A Hood