When it counts on you

I still can't believe it was last week that I went on a sea cruise. Something that's on my bucket list since uni days when my fam got to go but I didn't. What's even more 'amazed' is how fast life continues to move on since that trip. Does that trip was too short of an experience or not as impactful as any other trip. Though when I spontaneously decide I should post, I did come across some good photos of me with joy. What's certain is I feel grateful.

This weekend I'm back in my family home. I definitely see a clear difference on how unproductive I am here. I like own down time in my room but it does hit a sense of unease (I think it's guilt) that I'm not spending time with my family. I did very few this weekend and I really try to say I'm allowed to have lazy rest day where I do really basic stuff. It's for me to bounce back on Monday energize. 

While for work, I'm realizing I did a minor mistake of not confronting the higher up who propose my name for a 2 day workshop which is the week after eid where the workshop is redundant to the one I recently went but my unit's higher up. When I look this back it kinda feels like I went the back end but also I'm not sure how consulting/asking for permission to be away works when you're in logistics. Though I know on the other side or at that moment I have no intention of complaining just consulting because I think it's gonna affect my pending work. Navigating this kind of communication is a skill I'm tracing.

This week I went to ups and downs dealing my backlog/pending work from my 2 days holiday. I know it's not gonna be a finished job but when I have portion it out so I have targets I want to finish by the day and sensible for me to carry forward. I already have another workshop next week (I also went on 1 this week). So in every 1 day I'm away, the stress does builds and kinda wreck me. One good thing, I feel relieve when I'm doing my work because I see progress. So being at work, doing work is good. I'm also implementing a visual boundary technique of boxes and doors so I close it when I get back home, so my mind gets to rest and not spiral feeling stress about work. 

Another thing I wanna note, I was a hit with a small wave of regret because I feel I overshare my story here to my previous senior co-worker. Though I did plan to share a bit, I did slightly went over what I plan which I later realize it's because I miss having friends at work. This current workplace, I see my co-worker as co-workers but I don't have similar vibes or age group friends. I did not see it as a lack before because it's still a decent environment (upper decent). 

Tomorrow starts the best 10 days of the year (Zulhijjah). I really need to start get my head in the game. 

Young again,

TGiaH