Pressed the delete button

I ddeleted. I deleted all the contacts related to him on Friday evening on the way to locum. I cried for 20 minutes. It's just I need to let go, which I never properly did. If Allah wanted, we'll meet again. Just as my initial belief when he said he didn't want to continue the taaruf. I was immensely relief at that time. 

Now, just getting my head, heart & faith right. Even though of unfollowing his sisters in laws account. Up to that extent. Just I didn't & I hope that part doesn't back lash me one day.

It all started from nothing, now it ends with nothing. The experiences always gonna taught me. I know I need to do a speak recording of everything that happen this year. This year evolves around him. 

I'm gonna forget, don't know if the day comes when I remember but now let's just forget. Giving my head the mental space to no longer think of him. Instead think of me & my real problems. My parents health & safety, my siblings dreams. We all are struggling. It's not worth of a stranger to take up my mind. 

Of course, I kinda like myself in june. Strong hearted, firm. August I fell due to intense feeling towards his mother. November, without realizing repeating my taaruf. I notice there is a lack of distinction phase contributing why. Now, I decide just call it quits. Allah knows better.

This week, I guess been a little all over the place. I feel myself tired. Just worried if this is actually laziness. Despite that, managing a few things done like cleaning + going to online class, is a good energizer. Got my car serviced too on wednesday.

2 days at home this week. I know time is precious. Being at home is also precious as much as going out. I realised I have not much friends when I remember about QM. Haha. The light at the tunnel. Not sure if it's the end or just a new tunnel. 

Noticed my locum's salary was wrong this week. Haha. Also, got my bro a side job for a day. Alhamdulillah big big gratitude for able to become a way for him to earn money in a thing he is good. Writing.

Okay, I still need to work out a bit + shampoo my hair + clean my bathroom. 

Rearranging my life,

TGiaH