Stye & off hours

Yet another full week. Over the week, I felt myself really tired at work and in need of more rest (like capable to have a few seconds of eyes closed at 9am says it). Yeah, I had a full weekend. So that in turns me taking 2 afternoons off. Well, that's because one is preplanned for car service and one because of my stye in actuality (not because I am prioritising rest. Haha.). A chalazion on the exact on the exact same spot as few months ago. Huhu. But this time around is much much less severe. Kinda feels I worry over nothing. But my previous stye teaches me to get an mc if needed. It's okay to prioritise myself if I need it. That goes for deciding to rest in instead of volunteering ds. We got the cancel message on tuesday but suddenly wednesday night needed another help. Sokay.

I took up clinic shifts on saturday then give up my monday shifts. So I guess I am kinda trying to stick to my words on giving myself rest. Rest for recharge. Rest is good. End up a full saturday after work, taaruf chaperone duty, then post mortem but end up me overtalk. I remind myself of this though, the more a person knows of you, the more they have power over you. Despite my previous usual keep it to myself, this dear new friend likes to hear my thoughts, the deep ones. Lol. But also half of the time the half-processed ones, which in hindsight is not a good practice in the long run. For me, I mean. I need to let myself recoil back, take time thinking and then speak. In another perspective, it's a rezqi having a friend to have these kinds of conversation. And a reminder to myself, to be open to learn about her thoughts & perspective. Meraikan. 

Got home the night, my upper body berdenyut & in pain. So I know I'm tired. Then, sunday. I just knew about a kenduri, so I got a hour of nap in. Alhamdulillah still. So yeah.. I'm at locum.

Work callls,

TGiaH

DS Convocation

5 minutes to azan maghrib. Just writing this out because this girll need rest. Packed weekend with no locum, no kswp shift. Yet, packed. Monday night a trio night out after zikir at ds. Then, fridayy. I got back home at 7 due to heavy rain (it was short), which caused a road closure. Got back home, maghrib then rush to airport for my cousin's 1 month research/study in Japan. 

Saturday, doa selamat at pak cik G, then kenduri mak cik B, then back again at pak cik G for his son engagement. Sunday, ds convocation. Packed with settling gifts. Alhamdulillah for the experience. Then back home, zohr then out again for a taaruf discussion. It went way out of topic from what I thought to discuss the technicality of the conduct of the taaruf for my friend. But the discussion sailed like a talk we always have. Yet, I'm grateful that she feels grateful me sharing help her in a way she need. Reassurance/acknowledgement. 

So much to write and well...

Maghrib, byee. 

TGiaH

Wants vs commitments

Alhamdulillah I survive the past few days. My body is on the haywire and up, sometimes too tired with my right shoulder struggling, but somehow Allah help me survive. Let's pray my patients are too. Malaysia's in a bad weather this week, pouring heavy rain for long hours, in my city only for 2 separate nights, others are in flood. While like today here we have great weather breezy and slightly sunny, I am reminded Allah choose me for this rezqi, others test. So much much have to say consistent Alhamdulillah. Yet, we are all tested in our ways. I pray safety for all Malaysians. 

I did 2 clinics evening shifts, I'm grateful for that too and like today a full rest day in. Alhamdulillah for that. I wish I have not have the travel frenzy I have. But despite the intensive auto search on flights, it happens that my friend did not have the budget she should have, having a mindset travel while paying installments. I'm not going to travel if I don't have the initial savings permitted so it was a setback for me. Either I compromise on my own card or we go separate cards (I prefer this) or a later date or cancelled and I figure another trip of my own, we'll see. We got time In Shaa Allah. Please a drop down discount on non-boycott flights. Aamiin. Another note, everyone have their own financial & family commitments. In one way or the other, despite my family debt, I'm grateful to have a family configuration where my parents don't see their financial burden to be pass on as their children responsibility. Something culturally practice here. 

Post work out,

TGiaH

P/S: I also cooked egg fried rice this morning for the fam. It's been a while that I cooked.

Battling job anxiety

You know what I really want to do now? Just guling2 in bed & nap. But no I have my contact lens in so no naping. I'll be out with F in less than an hour. Gonna try reformer pilates today. I really hope I have no issues with it + enjoy it. My family & I just got back from 2 kenduris. Ahh. Weddings. Seems like my time will come later la kot. Haha. Idk will I ever wed in this life. Reminds me of my conversation with my 2 dear friends from darussyifa'. The golden question is on me, if you have to be wed today, what are the three things that are a must have. My friends golden answers qawiy, like rasulullah etc. Mine? I have the 3 value words, responsible, health and conscious. But the more honest answer I gave is actually a man I am able to obey properly and a man who I feel calm with him. Yes, it's about him. But still it's about me and my answer to Allah. 

Other notes: I am in realisation of my nervousness of working, more daily  hour workouts (I am on my period break so it is easier to slot in), our cat is warded. Prayers! Huhu. 

Alhamdulillah,

TGiaH

Me vs virus

Ahh. Alhamdulillah I'm feeling a bit of myself again. Umm. Perhaps I spoke too soon. Currently with the fan on high blowing my wet hair, well.. I feel a bit better. This week I'm battling a busy week. 3 locum shifts, some committee's work + drama, the usual class andd to add it up a viral fever. I had it since Wednesday morning at work, I feel my body really aching like I have a fever. Checked with my friend yeah warm. It is more of a low grade fever with constant body ache and soreness. Of course after rest the night, I feel slightly normal so I fasted Thursday. Despite tired, I continue fasting because I rather sleepp than eat during my lunch. Battled with the rain to locum, yeah I know I reach my peak. Friday came still tired with the 'adequate staff for the day', with a bit of mind battle, I decide nope I need to see the Dr and rest. Oh boy, it is a literal battle for me. Perhaps it's just a little sick or everyone face it worse and goes to work. But the deciding factor, will it affect my service to my patients? So yeah, mc I got no matter it's virus or burn out.

Now, Saturday I honestly don't know if I'm still sick or okay already. My shoulder blades are soree, I do feel slightly tired but yeah isn't that the normal. I'm also hungry. Idk, honestly. Hence, I decide for more rest. Take it slow. But simple room chores & stretches, still on. 

Also, update on the meds I stop it Wednesday because it affects my short term memory obvious during my screening work. So nu-uh.

Praying to as-Syifa I get better,

TGiaH

Free work week

Haha. Just to say this week I only have workoutside 8-5 on Sunday, today. Other work activities on Monday night, class and Saturday, my friend's sister in law wedding. So simply 'saja' put an opposite title from last week. Though I contemplated should I find a work to add or savour this week. End up I just cancelled my Friday pm off. Got a little Friday evening solo date with sushi. Hehe.

This week went pretty good just I need to keep my head in the game. Rest is recharge. For total focus in work. All except one incident during Tuesday, it was a small problem where I & my other mates were not informed that the management wanted selected people by the management themselves for a video recording. What we (except one who keep in contact with management) understood that we had to find the people ourselves which was totally valid according to the meeting. And how this one person reacted? Way out of proportion when it's just a simple not updated information. The wong here? Her. Just tell the updates promptly not when I in particular went to all the work. Haiyaa. Honestly, I hate her way and I pretty non comfortable how she deals with things. Unprofessional. Me writing it here? Well. It's anonymous for one. Second, a reminder to myself not al things are smooth/people are easy going. Third, I'm still a little proud of myself trying to handle it the best it can.

Tuesday was definitely not my day. And Wednesday was another challenge. Rushed with portfolio and incorrect filling with challenging lunch call and a broken down webconsole.

While yesterday, I'm proud for chatting with unfamiliar people and in a perspective networking. Maybe I got a backup part time job?

Everyday with it's own challenge and ease,

TGiaH

Full work week

It's been a while since I had a full work week (Monday-Friday 8-5), I do have extended clinic shifts and2 locum shifts. Alhamdulillah it's a good work week. I'm still trying to manage my work anxiety. I would love to have full focus and confidence in my work. It was very apparent on Friday how I love to interact and treat my patients well. 

For the show Better Late Than Single, I think it's a realistic show. How they interact, feel. But the whole thing I still have respect they have mature, healthy and kind response on every situation. 

For my weekends, yesterday I had this 'guilt' or doubt when choosing not going to my cousin's phd convocation (seriously respect), in thoughts I want/can only spend 4 hours on that. Turns out, my doubt and insist on to settle my laundry, I was able to cook for them when they comeover later. Alhamdulillah. 

The smell of curry, Yum!

TGiaH