Me vs virus

Ahh. Alhamdulillah I'm feeling a bit of myself again. Umm. Perhaps I spoke too soon. Currently with the fan on high blowing my wet hair, well.. I feel a bit better. This week I'm battling a busy week. 3 locum shifts, some committee's work + drama, the usual class andd to add it up a viral fever. I had it since Wednesday morning at work, I feel my body really aching like I have a fever. Checked with my friend yeah warm. It is more of a low grade fever with constant body ache and soreness. Of course after rest the night, I feel slightly normal so I fasted Thursday. Despite tired, I continue fasting because I rather sleepp than eat during my lunch. Battled with the rain to locum, yeah I know I reach my peak. Friday came still tired with the 'adequate staff for the day', with a bit of mind battle, I decide nope I need to see the Dr and rest. Oh boy, it is a literal battle for me. Perhaps it's just a little sick or everyone face it worse and goes to work. But the deciding factor, will it affect my service to my patients? So yeah, mc I got no matter it's virus or burn out.

Now, Saturday I honestly don't know if I'm still sick or okay already. My shoulder blades are soree, I do feel slightly tired but yeah isn't that the normal. I'm also hungry. Idk, honestly. Hence, I decide for more rest. Take it slow. But simple room chores & stretches, still on. 

Also, update on the meds I stop it Wednesday because it affects my short term memory obvious during my screening work. So nu-uh.

Praying to as-Syifa I get better,

TGiaH

Free work week

Haha. Just to say this week I only have workoutside 8-5 on Sunday, today. Other work activities on Monday night, class and Saturday, my friend's sister in law wedding. So simply 'saja' put an opposite title from last week. Though I contemplated should I find a work to add or savour this week. End up I just cancelled my Friday pm off. Got a little Friday evening solo date with sushi. Hehe.

This week went pretty good just I need to keep my head in the game. Rest is recharge. For total focus in work. All except one incident during Tuesday, it was a small problem where I & my other mates were not informed that the management wanted selected people by the management themselves for a video recording. What we (except one who keep in contact with management) understood that we had to find the people ourselves which was totally valid according to the meeting. And how this one person reacted? Way out of proportion when it's just a simple not updated information. The wong here? Her. Just tell the updates promptly not when I in particular went to all the work. Haiyaa. Honestly, I hate her way and I pretty non comfortable how she deals with things. Unprofessional. Me writing it here? Well. It's anonymous for one. Second, a reminder to myself not al things are smooth/people are easy going. Third, I'm still a little proud of myself trying to handle it the best it can.

Tuesday was definitely not my day. And Wednesday was another challenge. Rushed with portfolio and incorrect filling with challenging lunch call and a broken down webconsole.

While yesterday, I'm proud for chatting with unfamiliar people and in a perspective networking. Maybe I got a backup part time job?

Everyday with it's own challenge and ease,

TGiaH

Full work week

It's been a while since I had a full work week (Monday-Friday 8-5), I do have extended clinic shifts and2 locum shifts. Alhamdulillah it's a good work week. I'm still trying to manage my work anxiety. I would love to have full focus and confidence in my work. It was very apparent on Friday how I love to interact and treat my patients well. 

For the show Better Late Than Single, I think it's a realistic show. How they interact, feel. But the whole thing I still have respect they have mature, healthy and kind response on every situation. 

For my weekends, yesterday I had this 'guilt' or doubt when choosing not going to my cousin's phd convocation (seriously respect), in thoughts I want/can only spend 4 hours on that. Turns out, my doubt and insist on to settle my laundry, I was able to cook for them when they comeover later. Alhamdulillah. 

The smell of curry, Yum!

TGiaH

Half work, half off work week

As someone who is always working, let's say the side effect is you're gonna feel guilty for not working aka utilising your time aka figure out other things you actually wanna do. Free time? You're gonna feel guilty for it. Eventhough that 'free time' is for you to rest. Try to teach yourself yo this rest gonna make you feel refresh and much better at work. Ahh. 

This week I have;

Monday - tasmek herba at night

Tuesday - day in at home

Wednesday to Friday - work but no overtime

Saturday - kswp + work event at afternoon

Sunday - another day in

Sundays are for reset and recharge, my dear. I use it for laundry, tidying my room and house a bit. So why I feel guilty for not earning more? I thought I love a rest in so I block out today & yesterday in case I had to continue work until night..

Yesterday work event meeting my coworkers, them talking about what's the next plan as contract is near ending. I don't know. I wanna travel and have like an online remote job I enjoy and excel at as well have the flexibility, I also want to have enough passive income to support me. Also, I like my pharmacist job but I feel I'm not contributing much as I'm busy working all the time. Ahh. I don't know.

Trying to revise my trading class,

TGiaH

4 days off, when one have that extra time

Since evening, I am in slow mode. Not having to rush to do things, thats a big nikmat. I can take my time. I have time. Such is that time is truly a rezqi. Well.. Granted my friend cancelled our meetup the evening so yeah. A whole day in. Also, I know it's also because I did not contribute to housework today. The very very least I was able the feed those loud hungry kittens. Like finally. Trying to feed with only one capable hand. Ahh. I tidied a bit in my room so that's contributing to a better mood. 

I don't think I'm on my phone much today. Well, I hope so. The phone screentime mixture today is whatsapp for darussyifa' notes (yeah big tasmek herba this monday), better late than single show, merge fashion. I studied as in briefly going thru everything. I think my brain is thinking of focusing on my part more that's why. Maybe the nerves will come later. I just hope it goes smoothly. The tasmek. 

Yes, tomorrow I still have locum, but still in my mind I have four days off work, an extended weekend eh. One thing saying this week, I had two days where my hand acted up. The fear of not being able to manage my own self  which very includes not being able to work or do daily basic activities is scary. I am reminded that one day I might not be as capable as I am now. And yeah that's totally freaking scary. I hope that day doesn't come. Hence, in the next few days, I am very reminded that my moments now, I am very grateful. Very very grateful. In a way, too good. Alhamdulillah.

Moments,

TGiaH

Being a cat mom

So end up we found the cat dead on Tuesday. Leaving us with 4 kittens. And now we are left with two. The white one gone yesterday, the black one today. I have no hope much in case they survive, but everyone is putting what we can despite our busy schedule. Buying kitten milk formula, feeding bottle and syringe. Trying to feed them and keeping them warm take one to one and half hour. It is a full time job indeed. Now with the last 2 grey kittens. So much like their mom.

Our pharmacy settled with the big audit. And I gotta say, this week I'm off my diet. I need more veges! Consider it a cheat week. Anyhow despite friday lunch call, yesterday was a full darussyifa class. So basically my day finish at 7. Alhamdulillah I got time to reset and reset this morning, so I'm feeling much better. For my sister, it's still half registering half processed she's living another life in another continent. 

Andd. I feel underprepared for next wee tasmek. I can't wait it to be over. Hoping to squeeze a bit of painting in. Just a few minutes, before I got ready and off.

One hour before locum,

TGiaH

Flight 180 degree

Have you ever wondered you walking on one path then suddenly your life trajectory changes in a minute. Well, that's my sister. A few hours more she'll be in one of historical university. 

Monday - news

Tuesday - mad, need of luahan

Wednesday - fatigue, distracted

Thursday - redha but then slight false hope of staying during lunch

Friday - redha kot, switched my extended syif, want to spend time with her but sokay

Saturday - mind wonder a bit, locum. Triggered by my mom. Work is work. 

Sunday - no tears, world cp day hi tea, pluck the courage to talk to Datin Seri.

Monday - with the last moments, got the hug I needed, but had to keep the talk short if not waterfall

I need to go to class now, so even it's lowsy, I'll leave it like this.

I'm trying to ride the emotions but remind me to asr-maghrib is can gives me a chest of sadness.

Super late,

TGiaH