Hellooo February.

Oi youu. Who said that blogging every week is easy. I for a fact literally procrastinated since 2pm and it's almost 6 thirty. Kyaaa. Lazy bum. Anyhow, the thing about doing something is literally just starting. Then, it's a done deal. It is true the struggles of the mental battle. Anyhow, I'm here andd I'm grateful for that. I finished quite a lot of things today, like going on a one hour walk, finish my MPDP plan, and umm ohhh I did an attempt of 3 morning pages (except it was already 11). Had a little story telling bit going on there I would say. Even in blogging I would say, I am still never missing writing out. How much more credit do I gie myself for being soo consistent. 2015 right is when I started writing and now? It's literally 2025 duh. And do I give myself credit? So little. I'm trying here okay. Hey you, I'm proud of you for sticking through, being there for yourself, never not turn up for yourself. Damn you, I'm proud. Also, all the other things. Waking up for tahajud&/istikharah(2018), pre-fajr (2014) reading the Qu'ran (2016), dhuha prayers (2012), journalling (2021). I really do stick to myself. Alhamdulillah. Prayers for me to be consistent until my last breath In Shaa Allah. Aamiin. 

Okay. This week I've got 4 days off due to CNY. Other than spending time with family, I majorly did sleep paydebt. I think I overpaid my debt from what it is. And it's okay (it's not. Lol.). I am behind my cleaning schedule but it is what it is. Even now, I'm now thinking after this I wanna work though cleaning my drawer is something I need to do first. Which no worries, I am gonna do. Ooo. Speaking of family time, skycity on CNY? The 4 hours queue? Not worth it. Nu-uh. Haha. Sorryy. We also did steamboat/bbq night on  Friday. This time with S but H got classes so still one less family member. And then she back to uni. There times go. 

Another update, I chopped my hair by myself on a very rushed time. It's good and cute. For the fact, I saved RM30. Haha. Except then I spent RM47 on Dolly Dim Sum. Why the friend rice not as good. Hmm. Seriously counter effect of 'saving money'. Aiyaya. I need to shop today. 2.2 mahh. But lazy mahh. Don't wanna shop. Haha. I hope this side of me won't get any my usual readers by surprise (if I got any). Probably next week, I'll do the vision board. After I got this cleaning down. Bismillah.

4 days, aiyoyo.

TGiaH

Just a bag of emotions//layered haircut, hopefully.

I just watched a short on Israel hostages being released. Allahu. How happy and well kept, thanking for treating them so well while they were hostages. My eyes are watery. The Palestinian deserves the same. Allah. Before then I watched Mrs Harris Goes to Paris. I have to be honest I paused at a scene where I taught she's gonna be manipulated because of her innocence. I hated to think in my mind I don't wanna watch a woman who's not smart for herself. Simply, I was wrong. The story continues with kindness and my eyes turn watery when everyone welcomed at the measuring room. Despite the innocence, I kinda don't wanna buy into that. But the thought of being celebrated and deserving something so well made. Ahh. Will one day I have that amount of selfish/love to celebrate myself like that?

I finally got a day in yesterday. Finished XO Kitty. Eeee. Sorry, I become a kid again. Haha. It's okay. It's okay to have that side. Mainly MinHo and Kitty, while the I love the friendship from all the cast. I disliked the same gender likeness it's promoting. Ughh. I concernly worry about the next gen. Even my gen, tbh. 2 close people are married this week. One my foster cousin on Friday, N. And another one is F, where she in her buziness of nikah she shared her live. Ahhhh. Fan girl scream. Alhamdulillah. I don't know how the obstacle for their marriage life but I truly pray for Allah to make it easy for them. Aamiin. Also this week I read one of my friend's blog, I have to say ahh thank you for showing the side of marriage and another side of you. Nobody does that much, making me feel I'm in a bubble. Huhu.

After this I got a spa date with F. Alhamdulillah for this. It's says BFF package, I never know if we are but I'm grateful enough for have a constant solid friend like her. I'm gonna chop my hair off. A layered cut I hope. Andd just to say yesterday I bought a tube of Ilao Ilao on shopee food. I'm trying to not be guilty of this, but I really really wanted Ilao Ilao. And that's okay. This week I've tried a bit of minimal makeup for with glasses. The only reason, I 'rajin' cause it's school holiday (so got the extra time) and I was on my period. Next week, back to old me. It is nice the feeling of more put together. 

I'm still a little late on the 2025 bandwagon but it's okay, next week I'm facing the real deal. 4 days without my parents at home.. Anything but Allah's protection. Okay la, I really need to go.

Ikigai,

TGiaH

Turning back time (to school era)

8.51pm. Sunday night. Blogging as usual. Ahh. It's past mid month alreadyy. Alhamdulillah I'm enjoying this week. I don't really know how to sort out my writing unless it's in day order so yeah. Week recap let's go.

Monday - I went early to ds as I try to keep up my promise andd did somewhat murajaah-tasmik for the first part. Haha. Eventhough, I'm used to it I don't connect the duas with what it's for (the name of the doa). *ahh btw my laptop lighting changes every few seconds from dim to dimmer then dim back, it's a bit weird + eye sore/boggling (?) and I'm just grateful Alhamdulillah I still have this 10 years old laptop* I learned that my friend is actually a single mother. Also hearing about another classmate and her difficulties, I'm just grateful for mine. Huhu. Then, post class an matcha ice cream date with H. Sibs date!

Tuesday - I was able to afford coming early to ds + post class ice cream, as I decide to take cr for this day. Andd it's my bros, I birthday. Hehe. I pretty much rested in, colour, streches but I was so I don't wanna go out of the house butt for the cake I did. Mamasab choco cake. Yummy but I still prefer the cheese topping over this one. Reaching there, I didn't regret going out cause I was able to grab chili oil (for a must have dip sauce) and got to explore diplomatic. I liked it. My dear mom bought and hotpot-grill set and that is what we did for I's birthday. I think she like the vibes from where I bought my fam to Seoul Garden so yeah this is our seoul garden home. The celebration started early but funny we were full so quickly so guess our dinner for the next few days are. Still not complains.

Saturday - I got locum thenn I had this urge for makeup shop. Actually I wanted a matte eye shadow and try to see for any contours/bronzers if I liked. In the end, I got to catrice magic shadow (RM18), it's decent. The one is I didn't know the highlighter were shimmery so yeah no matte eye shadow. Bought silkygirl setting spray (I wanted to try) & makeup remover (mine was near finish). I spent 30 minutes thinking over. Haha. Anyhow, I'm glad I celebrated my impulse to go buy the things I want. Alhamdulillah. A littlleee bit rush when I got back home. Gone out the house at 7.10 ish. My hijab, looks was not perfect but it's okay to look beshe2 as it was a back to school theme. I can't be bothered to buy new school clothes (spend money nu-uh) or wear used ones (too much like a kid+too much hassle), so yeah I become a school teacher it is. Almost forgot my name tag. I loved the night though last week was much fun. I did not expect we had to do the whole negaraku and ikrar. Haha. I didn't get the grand lucky draw but Alhamdulillah with dua nabi Musa and istikharah, I got a salad spinner for my fam can use to dry out the salad (nasi arab dulang). Alhamdullillah not wasteful. The food the highlight for me definitely the strawberry fountain chocolate dip. Hehe. Sorry. My work friend bought her uni-mate who happens to be Syrian. Ahh. Somehow before it ends, we have a conversation which was unexpected and nice. Haha. Alhamdulillah.

I guess this pretty much decent enough for this week's post. 

So yeah, negaraku~

TGiaH

Different set of eyes.

I had a fun week. Ceh. After having fun last night at pkd's dinner, from a fun night terus week. Haha. But that how I currently feel. Amazing but scary too how the mind extrapolates things. Fuhh. Things are serious in the ajk group for ds. Ahh. But it's okay, probably Allah saying me to take serious and be commited to this. I am honestly half commited, but yeah knowing myself I will In Shaa Allah, attend all the classes & tasmi'. Hmm. Just not the tajwid classes, though I would love too I need rest. This week I fail to sleep early at 10, basically my sleep is 12ish or 11ish. Despite listening to the sleep podcast on Diary of a CEO. Indeed applied knowledge is a challenge I need to beat. 

Mon-ds class.

Weds-kswp.

Fri-i pretty much sleep the afternoon (pm off)>>sleep at 12.

Sat-gala dinner.

Also, it's okay too as I'm also incoporating a night time journal plus shadow work. Just I need to strictly cut out my screen time after it. I got a goddamn kobo kot. Even now at locum, I'm thinking of snuggling in bed with my kobo, but in reality I'm more on my phone la. Haiyaa. Tonight is another attempt. 

This week, with new glasses to work. Haha. I didn't expect A (prp L), was the one to notice first. The a few through the week. The first few days, I struggle as I felt I was not as pretty as when I was with my old specs. My new specs at home was fine, but with the hijab on, I felt it made my hijab kembang and not flattering. But I said to myself in the mirror, you are pretty, cute and nerdy regardless. By thursday-ish, I was feeling myself again. Still regaining. I look younger & harry potter like right with this new me. Kk. 

While, yesterday is gala dinner. All out with my super duper precious and white satin shawl which I never would wear anywhere else. Proper moderate makeup. Basically the foundation is the same, just changes in double oiling & trying to eye makeup with new brushes. The shiseido eyelash curler, does not do much but just the cutest tiniest slight curl which does not make much difference, but I like it as if I'm paying attention to detail of myself, a different kind of I care about you, S. Hmm. With the affirmations in the back, I felt yes, I'm good. 

The dinner was definitely a blast, half of my coworkers really dolled up which wow. Pretty much other staffs all out as well. Some are very minimal, while me in the middle. Kk. Everyone look so pretty. Though can't deny the minimals and naturals definitely caught my eyes more. Allah created so much beauty. The clothes, dazzling. Since we were so dazzling, taking photos are such fun part of the night. The food selection wide, with lamb! The star is the magic show. Certainly an eye fixater. While my rezqi for lucky draw is a neck pillow, the ones the won the fridge and dryer. Ma Shaa Allah, such a rezqi. I did pray the dua of prophet Musa and istikharah, so I know the neck pillow is something I need and best for me. Hi, travel companion!

Btw, I'm at locum with my contact lens. And weirdly today is the day people who knew me came. Uni friend - cousin - my mother's friend.

Glasses to lenses,

TGiaH

New glasses after 10 years.

This week a lot of ot at least than what I had in a while. Tuesday, friday then locuming on saturday. A little like um it's the year already. I kinda feel I have a month left for 2024. Shows that time is urgh. Fast. Going into the new year when I'm about to sleep, then reminding of 1.1 sale so I had to buy all the neccessities I've been pending. It was a tedious headache process to calculate maximum savings. Either I settled it on 1.. Then, you know how I started the year? With a 12 hour sleep. Talking about being tired and sleep debt. I haen't woke up in noon in ages. I decided to delete social media once again. While the day, I finished my IAC test and had a phone call with my bruneian friend, F. Her story took me a little by surprise.

In turns of that, figure who did the spontaneous act of buying a flight ticket because the phone call was not enough? Me, yesterday during locum. (Inserting here, dunno how permohonan overseas gonna go. Haha). Now, just need to settled the accomodation which though tempted to go for a cheaper one, having that extra free shuttle and city centre might be more value budget in turn. Brunei is definitely not the tourist friendly place like Singapore which is very easy access. I also picked up my specs yesterday with the contact lens I ordered on thursday. The person is A plus plus for customer service. I did receive contact lens my friend gaveaway for free. Let's say I'm glad the daily lens are until 2031. 

Friday jamuan with nasi khoumok. Yummy, alhamdulillah. Just as usual eating everything there is. I'm grateful for the yummy food, and yet good goodbyes. Just, the blood work results is a slap to face. An awakening. Guess though not so serious, this girl is starting to look out her diet and lifestyle. That being said, I grab the salad piece in my every meal (since yesterday. Haha.) andd I had a good discipline day today. At 8 ish, a walk out, stretches, dhuha, qur'an, the noon somehow much needed sleep in, tidying my makeup table/cabinet, and mindful of my eating. I took the supplements, and started with protein shake first. Writing this in asar, makes me feel I am accomplishing more and a form of saying I am taking care of myself. First jamaah prayer of the year too.

Today also, I'm praying solat taubat and hajat, for I really want things to work out for my father. Please, a buyer and a peaceful life with no debts. Aamiin. Also, thinking this week my word of the year. Thought of house, discipline, and lastly perhaps trade? Still thinking. May Allah inspires me with the best. Aamiin. Trying to commit to shadow work this year. In Shaa Allah. For me.

Welcoming 2025,

TGiaH 

2024 Recap

Before writing this week's post,  let's recap last year. Last year dah eh.

January: Singapore solo with surprise.

February: Closing a chapter, colouring therapy.

March: A deep healing ramadhan.

April: The moment of truth = mostly healed. I wanna be on my own. 

May: I cooked nasi arab for pharmacy. 

June: Business class family sabah trip, new kobo.

July: Learning AI in Bukit Bintang, new tablet.

August: Botox, leap of faith for coaching & umrah.

September: Test (just a little) for umrah, post book reviews.

October: Gaming distraction.

November: A heavenly (solo) umrah.

December: District 21, treating the fam to Seoul garden.

Word of the year: Clean

1. Name three words that best describe my 2024.

Healing, giving, solo searching.

2. Biggest lesson you've learned this year.
You never know if it's gonna be and how(Allah's plan), but sometimes it's meant to be (refer to umrah). Cutting (so thought) relationship if not good is necessary.

3. Biggest change I did this year.
Deleting social media on my phone (on off).

4. Best decision I made this year.

Taking the leap of faith for umrah despite virtually no actual money.

5. Best single achievement I made this year.
Really into my ramadhan this year (as it gave me the healing, reconnection I need).

6. Who helped you get through 2024.
Ramadhan & umrah (Allah).

7. Which worry was unnecessary this year?

I'm thinking this hard because all my worries the year was valid. I guess worry whether there's gonna be enough money or how the others are thinking. 

8. How did you grow emotionally this year?
I am more accepting of my emotions, though not much tears as the year before. Trying to be more emotionally intelligent through emotion identification.

9. Happiest moment of 2024.
Eid in sabah (reminding of my video in front of the house) and a smooth entry to madinah airport.

10. Saddest moment of 2024.

When I thought I have a tied/friends with a person, but turns out angry with me with no intention of understanding the difficulty I am facing.

*exhales* 2024,

TGiaH

I turned 28.

28 list for 28 me.

1. Just settled for IAC register, it dampens my feeling, so I'm feeling a bit better to write.
2. Ahh. Writing this still is a battle of laziness every sunday. Haha.
3. This week I'm weirdly tired all week for no reason I can think of.
4. 23th, done the coaching presentation. MDEC team seems nicee. I quite liked it.
5. Finally wearing a comfortable chiffon voile hijab to class.
6. I managed a "book review" ig story on Secrets of Divine Love during maghrib at Darussyifa'.
7. Post class. I slept thinking ah tomorrow the day.
8. Praying my sis have a safe journey home as just having my family together is just what I need for my birthday.
9. 24th, practically didn't wanna wake up. 
10. Did not wanna open my whatsapp until later on.
11. My bro I was the first to wish me while I in the hall ironing my tudung.
12. A bit later at morning at work, I saw my parents birthday messages in the group.
13. Got an unexpected birthday singing for my senior coworker, pn N. She was teary which she questioned why. I hugged her cause it was unexpected and sweet.
14. Another unexpected birthday wishes from my roomies. I liked the surprise wishes today.
15. I got the chill shift portfolio + S3, as if a chill day at work was a gift for my birthday.
16. Bought the Zus creme somthing matcha, I actually just wanted my Snackville matcha latte, but trying this why not?
17. Posting that with a date on ig stories as my secret birthday post this year.
18. Packing while zus while virgin river.
19. Wasn't feeling that hungry all day. Huhu. Until the day after too.
20. Looking at 24.12 feeling ahh it's my birthday. Gitters.
21. Thinking to myself, I'm 28 and it feels normal. Haha.
22. Saying to my colleages during S3 ah I just reach my age today, in referring to our conversation on age & near the end of year like saying it's my birthday is such a normal thing to say. It did feel normal.
23. Had to singgah for sushi because this girl was hungry. Mini solo birthday date.
24. My mother's go to and back to work salam with a birthday wish.
25. My family gather for dinner but I was already lights off to sleep early.
26. After going down with my braces and all to cut the cake, I went back to bed with a cry because some part of me wish I was with my family but I am so tired that my wish is to sleep early.
27. 25th, put on a river family outing as my mom wanted. It went kinda well in viewing the waterfall is closed as I expected of the rainy season.
28. Breakfast date with the fam at mamaks.
29. I really wanted to rush back home, but we visited my father's friend son's house. 
30. Rested and went to seoul garden.
31. Parked L1(a) G, so pats in the back.
32. Pluced the courage for asking if got OKU price.
33. I think the buffet is a success. 
34. Duit locum masuk Alhamdulillah!.
35. Paid for roughly RM440, but my parents gave me RM200 which ah Alhamdulillah. Niat my birthday gift to all, but it's Allah giving me back in return.
36. I managed another "book review" at kswp work on saturday (replacing my friend's shift).
37. I pulled myself together today to do a blood work for my kinda-yearly check up.
38. Plucked the time, to pick out new glasses for me. It was awkward but fun & courageous for me alone. (Don't undermine the bravery to choose a frame alone. Serious.) Another RM400. Fuhh.

So I guess this is my lazy post. All in all, Alhamdulillah.

I am 28,

TGiaH