New glasses after 10 years.

This week a lot of ot at least than what I had in a while. Tuesday, friday then locuming on saturday. A little like um it's the year already. I kinda feel I have a month left for 2024. Shows that time is urgh. Fast. Going into the new year when I'm about to sleep, then reminding of 1.1 sale so I had to buy all the neccessities I've been pending. It was a tedious headache process to calculate maximum savings. Either I settled it on 1.. Then, you know how I started the year? With a 12 hour sleep. Talking about being tired and sleep debt. I haen't woke up in noon in ages. I decided to delete social media once again. While the day, I finished my IAC test and had a phone call with my bruneian friend, F. Her story took me a little by surprise.

In turns of that, figure who did the spontaneous act of buying a flight ticket because the phone call was not enough? Me, yesterday during locum. (Inserting here, dunno how permohonan overseas gonna go. Haha). Now, just need to settled the accomodation which though tempted to go for a cheaper one, having that extra free shuttle and city centre might be more value budget in turn. Brunei is definitely not the tourist friendly place like Singapore which is very easy access. I also picked up my specs yesterday with the contact lens I ordered on thursday. The person is A plus plus for customer service. I did receive contact lens my friend gaveaway for free. Let's say I'm glad the daily lens are until 2031. 

Friday jamuan with nasi khoumok. Yummy, alhamdulillah. Just as usual eating everything there is. I'm grateful for the yummy food, and yet good goodbyes. Just, the blood work results is a slap to face. An awakening. Guess though not so serious, this girl is starting to look out her diet and lifestyle. That being said, I grab the salad piece in my every meal (since yesterday. Haha.) andd I had a good discipline day today. At 8 ish, a walk out, stretches, dhuha, qur'an, the noon somehow much needed sleep in, tidying my makeup table/cabinet, and mindful of my eating. I took the supplements, and started with protein shake first. Writing this in asar, makes me feel I am accomplishing more and a form of saying I am taking care of myself. First jamaah prayer of the year too.

Today also, I'm praying solat taubat and hajat, for I really want things to work out for my father. Please, a buyer and a peaceful life with no debts. Aamiin. Also, thinking this week my word of the year. Thought of house, discipline, and lastly perhaps trade? Still thinking. May Allah inspires me with the best. Aamiin. Trying to commit to shadow work this year. In Shaa Allah. For me.

Welcoming 2025,

TGiaH 

2024 Recap

Before writing this week's post,  let's recap last year. Last year dah eh.

January: Singapore solo with surprise.

February: Closing a chapter, colouring therapy.

March: A deep healing ramadhan.

April: The moment of truth = mostly healed. I wanna be on my own. 

May: I cooked nasi arab for pharmacy. 

June: Business class family sabah trip, new kobo.

July: Learning AI in Bukit Bintang, new tablet.

August: Botox, leap of faith for coaching & umrah.

September: Test (just a little) for umrah, post book reviews.

October: Gaming distraction.

November: A heavenly (solo) umrah.

December: District 21, treating the fam to Seoul garden.

Word of the year: Clean

1. Name three words that best describe my 2024.

Healing, giving, solo searching.

2. Biggest lesson you've learned this year.
You never know if it's gonna be and how(Allah's plan), but sometimes it's meant to be (refer to umrah). Cutting (so thought) relationship if not good is necessary.

3. Biggest change I did this year.
Deleting social media on my phone (on off).

4. Best decision I made this year.

Taking the leap of faith for umrah despite virtually no actual money.

5. Best single achievement I made this year.
Really into my ramadhan this year (as it gave me the healing, reconnection I need).

6. Who helped you get through 2024.
Ramadhan & umrah (Allah).

7. Which worry was unnecessary this year?

I'm thinking this hard because all my worries the year was valid. I guess worry whether there's gonna be enough money or how the others are thinking. 

8. How did you grow emotionally this year?
I am more accepting of my emotions, though not much tears as the year before. Trying to be more emotionally intelligent through emotion identification.

9. Happiest moment of 2024.
Eid in sabah (reminding of my video in front of the house) and a smooth entry to madinah airport.

10. Saddest moment of 2024.

When I thought I have a tied/friends with a person, but turns out angry with me with no intention of understanding the difficulty I am facing.

*exhales* 2024,

TGiaH

I turned 28.

28 list for 28 me.

1. Just settled for IAC register, it dampens my feeling, so I'm feeling a bit better to write.
2. Ahh. Writing this still is a battle of laziness every sunday. Haha.
3. This week I'm weirdly tired all week for no reason I can think of.
4. 23th, done the coaching presentation. MDEC team seems nicee. I quite liked it.
5. Finally wearing a comfortable chiffon voile hijab to class.
6. I managed a "book review" ig story on Secrets of Divine Love during maghrib at Darussyifa'.
7. Post class. I slept thinking ah tomorrow the day.
8. Praying my sis have a safe journey home as just having my family together is just what I need for my birthday.
9. 24th, practically didn't wanna wake up. 
10. Did not wanna open my whatsapp until later on.
11. My bro I was the first to wish me while I in the hall ironing my tudung.
12. A bit later at morning at work, I saw my parents birthday messages in the group.
13. Got an unexpected birthday singing for my senior coworker, pn N. She was teary which she questioned why. I hugged her cause it was unexpected and sweet.
14. Another unexpected birthday wishes from my roomies. I liked the surprise wishes today.
15. I got the chill shift portfolio + S3, as if a chill day at work was a gift for my birthday.
16. Bought the Zus creme somthing matcha, I actually just wanted my Snackville matcha latte, but trying this why not?
17. Posting that with a date on ig stories as my secret birthday post this year.
18. Packing while zus while virgin river.
19. Wasn't feeling that hungry all day. Huhu. Until the day after too.
20. Looking at 24.12 feeling ahh it's my birthday. Gitters.
21. Thinking to myself, I'm 28 and it feels normal. Haha.
22. Saying to my colleages during S3 ah I just reach my age today, in referring to our conversation on age & near the end of year like saying it's my birthday is such a normal thing to say. It did feel normal.
23. Had to singgah for sushi because this girl was hungry. Mini solo birthday date.
24. My mother's go to and back to work salam with a birthday wish.
25. My family gather for dinner but I was already lights off to sleep early.
26. After going down with my braces and all to cut the cake, I went back to bed with a cry because some part of me wish I was with my family but I am so tired that my wish is to sleep early.
27. 25th, put on a river family outing as my mom wanted. It went kinda well in viewing the waterfall is closed as I expected of the rainy season.
28. Breakfast date with the fam at mamaks.
29. I really wanted to rush back home, but we visited my father's friend son's house. 
30. Rested and went to seoul garden.
31. Parked L1(a) G, so pats in the back.
32. Pluced the courage for asking if got OKU price.
33. I think the buffet is a success. 
34. Duit locum masuk Alhamdulillah!.
35. Paid for roughly RM440, but my parents gave me RM200 which ah Alhamdulillah. Niat my birthday gift to all, but it's Allah giving me back in return.
36. I managed another "book review" at kswp work on saturday (replacing my friend's shift).
37. I pulled myself together today to do a blood work for my kinda-yearly check up.
38. Plucked the time, to pick out new glasses for me. It was awkward but fun & courageous for me alone. (Don't undermine the bravery to choose a frame alone. Serious.) Another RM400. Fuhh.

So I guess this is my lazy post. All in all, Alhamdulillah.

I am 28,

TGiaH

Sarang is Blind? A new splint.

Guess another me marathonning another show. Kinda. I just wanna know the ending. So yeah I finish Love is Blind: UK on Tuesday. I have to say that's the only Love is Blind I find interesting. One thing I needed to see which made me kinda binge watching (but I kinda open google on other things so then it spoilt as I could guess) is post 1 year from the show. The Dynamics. It's interesting, sad, happy, realistic how it was that then, then here now. These are real people. The growth. Part and parcel of life.

Somehow my period didn't come on Wednesday but Thursday (I thought that morning it's not gonna come). Though I do feel as if it had come. Do you know what I'm saying? Haha. After my OT appointment (new splint, seeing the strength of a mother with a disabled adult), got back home went straight into finishing up my CPC report. I'm like girl, this is definitely not a first day period thing I do. But fast forwarding to today, I finished it. Along with the presentation. I had this really tick off the box morning today, went for a walk at Saujana Hijau, pick up a matcha latte, hang my clothes and after shower, I did my makeup. Haha. Weirdly feeling like it, cause of the upcoming dinners. I have to say thought I like makeup made me look put together, I don't like the feeling my skin can't breath. Ahh. I thought I could squeeze in for a kenduri. But grateful I didn't, cause from 10.40am, I finish at 1.40pm. Haha. Then, back at checking and touches at 4.30pm. I wanted to nap, but before I could I look up the forecast and pick up my clothes along with late lunch. So there's that, today. Sooo. I'm writing before 6, as I feel I wanna get off my laptop for today. So at night, perhaps a little colouring?

Saturday, late start. I needed sleep. I guess period sleep. So after that, doing stretches. Lots of reading than on my phone, which made me feel something. Better but I don't know what. Just life without screentime is better. So then, locum before 5. Paid off my zakat and everything else this week. I'm grateful for rezqi of monthly suefficient salary. Thoughts of owning a house and also how I wanna think of my car if I get tetap at Sabah Sarawak. Hmm.

Work weekend,

TGiaH

A rough start, a mildly anxious end.

This week start on monday, morning at work fuhhh. Certainly not one of the most ideal, getting accused then emotional person with emotion equipped punches (words). But certainly, I'm proud of most part of handling it well (just the crying bit I regret). Solution focused, mentally heads on, clear of myself, trusting myself and conscious empathic perspective. Though in hindsight (the next day), it's really should not be a problem I had to take responsible action for. Fuhh. I guess that's life.

Really tired the first two nights ccm phone alarm was on. Haha. I needed sleep. With post-district 21 tiredness, then monday night class. Thursday, trying to start my day on maghrib. Interesting concept worth trying. A ball of cries on friday night. Well, the next day to Tapah which such as enjoyable trip, and spending time with the fam. Then, today just giving myself a day in resting with Love is Blind UK which I really think how the western world kinda assimilate our traditional belief, approaching someone for marriage (taaruf). Interesting how it goes. 

No coughing this week Alhamdulillah. Just a little weird where I fall asleep in a minute, but sounds coming up from my mouth. Hmm. This week comes with challenges, taking into view ahh this is how I handle things, I'm proud, I'm growing, trying I'm me. Anyhow, today has the low tide of anxious. Just a little bit more than subtle, still quite subtle. A patient got the wrong med. I just deeply hope it's not me. One is enough. Please.

Hard prayers,

TGiaH

A time @District 21

This weeek is bu-seyy. Haha. Monday, post work rush to go my first darussyifa' class. Andd I have to say I like my time during the class. I took notes, I payed attention. I was able to put off my gamings I finish off the game at 1 in the morning. Khalas. I played a bit more on Tuesday. I cut it off (uninstall) on Thursday work. Other than that, Monday was the big visit from the vip. Somehow the assist thought I didn't wear a mask at the methadone room. Nu-uh. Ohh. I arrived home with a notice to cut off our water supply. Somehow our water bill double than before which is weird considering no leaking. I hope my father prioritize Air Selangor to check our metre. I did paid the big amount though. Huhu. 

Thursday, I did my last coaching session with one of my coachee (whose a participate too). Actually I just remembered I didn't do my CPC3 so I just did it. Haha. Then, Friday a farewell feast also an extended shift. Patient was continuous but okay. One point is I'm happy my senior pf appreciates continuous learning which made me feel happy too. I'm also happy I was able to drop her off her house. Ahh. The location is such perfection. Though, I am at times nervous around her but oh well. Also, another is sharing things about umrah and differences in mazhab with kak Z, I hope it broaden her horizon. 

I had to come at Saturday for scrubbing + pest control. Alhamdulillah, I was abled to do an arrangement beforehand to come at 9, while kak A come earlier. I got in the extra needed sleep. Then, jeng jeng my coworker F has come to work until 9.37am where they asked in the group. I thought he came even a little late. I was bored and didn't want to idle my phone so yeah this lady decide working is better use of me, so I jump to help call his wife and cover him up which in turns somehow a full cover shift. Haha. 

As for today, I had the time to do strecthes and chill late breakfast, before rushing over to the team building at District 21 with the wrong shoes. I had fun with the team building. First, name then cheers. Haha. Durian. First free fall which others volunteer first while we stand on one foot! Then, the maze ohh I so proud of myself though I have the five to seven medium to small bruises on my left leg+knee, one on my right, two scratches also on my leg and a bump below to bruises. Haha. I know it was very possible because we were in a rush. Then, the trampoline. That's a tough one. Balancing the little ball. The then 10 building blocks ohh we need better strategy. But we did it! Lastly, tubby ride which is a slide with round lifebuoy thingy. I decided to not go as I imagine the risk when my left hand lets go. Better be safe than tumbling down, frightening everyone. Anddd we got second place. Alhamdulillah. One point difference.

After that, I had to try the roller glider which I'm grateful for the experience. Eventhough, my hand didn't cooperate I was in rather safe. I feel sorry for the staff for in case I was making them worry of the work. I took off safely with a hand 'cramp' but yeah. I hope in a way Allah blessses them in one way or the other for giving this girl with cp to experience this one chance to this excitement. The ride back home with the soreness, I can't be lesser than grateful. Thank you Allah for the chance. I also did a free fall. Not mention losing one shoe and my specs also going to a free fall. Haha. A first at NakNak which I feel the gochujang chicken is nothing much, then Madam Croffle for yesterday's pay.  Trying to find in RM11-19 range. A first of many this week, with ever grateful for these. Alhamdulillah.

Dinner off with leftover Naknak,

TGiaH

Redirection

Alhamdulillah for pay day. Though this week, I think learning that my money is only what Allah lent to me is a thing. Ikhlas perlu dipelajari. Through and through. From L, sadly he didn't get in mara schloarship this round. I was heartbroken seeing him sleeping next to his sajadah. Because I know the pain of letting go a dream. Yet, there's still ways for him. I pray he gets the best scholarship for him and gets to study in the UK. For the company, I'm praying still. Hmm. Sleep coughing is painful. Huhu. The  nikmat of a good quality sleep. 

I had my car serviced on tuesday. I had a nothing much day that day. Though I do have things I forgot. Then thursday I had kwsp, friday (a coach session which is more of a catch up session with F). Oh weds I did have an online coach briefing post work. So yeah, this girl don't get that much time to rest. So Alhamdulillah for tuesday. Though somehow I'm kinda into searching my to relax thing which this week is gaming and scenetic stories. So post registring for darussyifa' classes (which why my name is still not on whatsapp?), my payback rest is gamig. Yeah I should've slept right away post locum yesterday and I planned to, but it is what is. Though I do feel urgh need more self control.

Yesterday also got kenduri family angkat which is nice. Nice my coworker texted me first and sweet video with H. Ooohhh. Also, my tapak kasut totally tercabut when going on stage. Ahaha. Cinderella things. And need to mention already started ccm oncalling, so praying all is well and easy for it. No messing my rest and outside working hours please. Aamiin.

I'm gonna continue gaming,

TGiaH.