Pathophysiology of Sin

Tonight there's this Biah Solehah Campaign opening ceremony which there was a talk given by Dr Che An called "Pathophysiology of Sin". Sounds so typically scientific. I didn't go to the talk with the thought that I catch up with studying. Which I did. Kinda.

But being me, I was distracted by the Internet (but I still I can still finish this one Anti Cancer lecture. Btw, I finished one the afternoon before.). So IPhA put the talk on FB live & surprisingly it was very nice talk. I smiled & laughed during the talk even it was supposed to be serious. But still, I learned a lot.

And then a few moments later, I clicked on an AA video titled "We all sin". Coincidence much hey. Which is why I decided to write my baby wondering thoughts.

We all sinned. Every single day. Just differently.

No body can escape this fact. We are all sinners. 

But what's the best thing is that we can make taubah & try again. 

Taubah, erase our sin. Ma Sha Allah, what a gift that is?

Try again. If we failed try again. Again & again.

We don't want syaitaan to win here, right? We want to go to Jannah, right? We want to be better, right?

For me, I have my own sins. No doubts. Some I try again and again to win the battle for years.

But trust it's worth it to never give up.

*Abah phone calls*

Self-reflect,

The Girl in a Hood

Saying 'I Love You To Your Siblings' Challenge.

When saying love you is so common in your family. Still you mean every single word. May Allah grant us jannah with the ones I love. Credit to AA Sisterhood for the challenge, I had fun reading the comments!

Uhibukafillah abadan abada habibi,

The Girl In A Hood

20 ml of blood :O

So the Monday 18th Feb 2019, we had to go to the hospital for our Hep C & HIV Screening. Can't imagine if we are found to have any of those, our career is long gone. But it's an STD, so it's not likely possible.

We went by S's car which early (we were supposed to arrive at 4 but arrived way before that). None of our friend were there (said so we were the earliest). So originally they had to take only 8ml of our blood (4 for each test), but because of the Schizophrenia thing, they took an additional 12 ml.

The needle stuck so long in our arms!! But Alhamdulillah it was only once. Phew.

So that's that. And interestingly, Y & R both got their period a week late. Hrmm.

Gotta chow. Sleepy.

The Girl in A Hood

How to treat others..

Super short update In Sha Allah. Study is stressing me out. Ughh CNS anatomy... Huhu.

So I was watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46AFZX3hnCw & it reminds me why I'm kind to others until one of my friends advice me to not be so kind. But I just can't you see, even if others do bad stuff to me, I can't do the same to them. I just suck it in, smile & lots of prayers for them. :)

Another motivation to stay kind..

And coincidently, I comes to my room with the chocolate & 100 ringgit I lent it to her with a sweet sticky notes saying "Thank you for always helping me. :)". 

Isn't that sweet?

May Allah always grant me a big heart to always be kind & help others. Aamiin!

Pay kindness with kindness, pay injustice with kindness too.

The Girl in A Hood

Stretch marks..

Calling my dad for a sec... Wait..

10 minutes should be enough to squeeze in this post. In Sha Allah.

*yawning (sleepy for no reason)*

So a few days ago (Sunday to be exact),  my roommates plus I were talking & I butt in. It happened that there were talking about stretch marks..

To my surprise, none of them have stretch marks which I always thought that it's so common for people to have. Also, a reason to it is because my body is toned & people can actually feel my muscle while my friends are soft & squishy (which also surprises me). Squishy might not be the appropriate word but oh well that's what they claimed.

Well as for me, I have loads. I still remember when I was 14 I was so shocked to see my body full of "tiger scratches". I didn't thought it was a thing for some girls until I was like 18 or something. At that time, I thought it was normal & very logical. I was  skinny girl & a year of puberty hit me to stretch in places I used to be so thin. Hence, the "tiger scratches".

Not to help, but not I am actually a little insecure about it. Unless if I don't get married, what will my he thinks of all the "tiger scratches".  *nervous laugh* Probably I might considered not getting married at all as an option, but I know it's me just being insecure. Haha. Lol. Maybe that person will think the marks are cool like I'm a jungle girl.

But nevertheless, I still think I'm beautiful in my own skin, body even it is full of flaws but really it's what Allah given to me & the flaws just makes me absolute the more unique me. I could never ask for something more perfect. <3 Alhamdulillah.

Perfectly created by the perfect & only Creator,

The Girl in a Hood

Drifting with the (basket)ball...

I stupidly nearly forgot I had to update my blog. So much for my resolutions, if I'm not gonna stick with it. Lol.

6 pm I was planning to print out my notes in the photocopy centre, until the person before me said she's gonna take a long time & the shop closes at 6.30. I'm not gonna make the worker wait for me to finish when it's my turn & take up her precious rest time. So I'll print it some other time. I was not hungry yet (although I already bought dinner) & I feel I wanna do some thing else.

That's when in a couple of minutes, changed my clothes, picked up my 3 months (probably due) basketball from I's room & by 6.20 I was at the court. Minding my own business, playing the ball like old times, reminiscing thru thoughts & memories (including the old memories me playing basketball at night). When I noticed a girl trying to come up to me. So I said to her with a smile "Like to join?".

And with that we played with whole long conversation about study, sports & of course a little 1-2 questions about my cp. I guess you can't run from people being curious & she's very nice sweet girl. Perhaps I'll meet again next time In Sha Allah. Not to forget, thanks to her I can put my mind off a bit. I feel so like mad today which I rarely do & I don't want to stay mad & upset. Probably it'll go away tomorrow. :)

It's been a year since me time & basketball. Miss you ball. <3

This weeks reflection. Done!

The Girl in A Hood

What cerebral palsy taught me...

Okay, so I was just thinking of writing this down before the idea of this evaporates.. Cerebral palsy. Yeah, I have cerebral palsy. For it is a have not an am. Like it's not who I am or defines who I am but it's more of like a part of me. For instance, I am a muslim. That's because it's who am I (obviously not a perfect one but yeah). Funnily I came across this term last year around July I think. I know that I have hemiplegia but the broad term of it.. I didn't.

And another funny thing is that it's actually quite common (especially when comparing to other disease & stuff). I know for quite some time that ateriovenous malformation (which is the cause of my disability

Pause. Even the term disability is controversial & they're changing to differently abled because not all in fact so many people with disability is pretty much capable, living like any normal abled bodies but stigma seems that the word disability means disable incapable but so so wrong. I wish I perhaps can be one of the many that proves them that they are wrong. :)

Okay to the point.)

is a 1 in 10000 but for it to burst is a another one in thousand because others usually are undetected. I'm very lucky in fact to be living over what I think is minor causality. It could have been much worse. My whole body have paralyse or I could've been mentally retarded or I could've died. It could've rupture when I'm in the womb & result in more severe disability. But no it didn't. And I'm grateful for that or having this in the first place. It taught me so much, gave me hardships which I grow strong.

What I wanted to write was way different than what I'm writing now. Just a short note, my disability affects me more when I'm more focus or aware of it. When I'm not, my body is much more relax that I have the capability to control over it without even me realising it sometimes. So one of the lesson here is that let Allah be the source of control of our life. I don't need to push myself so hard, instead sometimes letting go of the wheel & just enjoy the ride.

Funny face,

The Girl in A Hood

Fact: Every 2 or 3 out of every 1000 children have cerebral palsy.