A week here + real marriage questions

I had a good week here (not back at my parent's this week - passive oncall). At work, at home. It's a blessing. Ahh. I also did one extended shift (help my colleague out) which I think went well. A lot of work settled, making me much more relax at work. I cooked a lot, I did doom-scroll a bit. The work days was not bad. But the past 2 nights for weekend is. Still, I feel okay because I got a lot done during the day. The app lock limit does help, so I'm leaving it as of now. Intentional. I looked at my vision board a lot, reminding myself of what I want. I did a solo grocery + dinner date. It's nice focusing on delicious food, no rush, listening to my thoughts. I also did forgot a few grocery items, so I do have to go back again tomorrow.

One big thing, I did this week, well yesterday is writing my profile for matchmaking. I do like matchmaking setups using a matchmaker instead of online swipes. But professional matchmakers are expensive. And going through 10 real and absolute needed marriage questions, I got really tense in my neck particularly, spreading to my shoulders a bit. One thing, my high sense of personal autonomy does scares me if I'm suited for marriage. I don't want to jeopardise, or being unjust to someone else or feel like I'm trap and suffocated like when I'm home under an authorative mum. Another, is writing up examples on conflict with the last one I had (the one during Taiwan trip) is really bad & also rare. One, I don't run or settled many conflicts. Some are unsolvable when it's not my own like my father's or family situation, and some are just really big and speaking about it, meaning I'm revealing something bad about the other person. Like last year or Taiwan trip. Alhamdulillah, I'm reminded of a smaller conflict which still does portray how I handled conflicts. I do need to learn & practice better conflict management. Also, a therapist & coach. And not to mention I had to re-write half of the questions because of my phone's internet. I don't know what I'm doing, but at least I'm trying. Right?

10.58pm, gotta sleep.

TGiaH