Last week has been hectic. Despite the muharram holiday. I'm grateful for taking the Monday off. I went on the bowling tournament. Always arriving there brings me a sense of excited but throughout until the end, I never fail to feel the tang of sadness. Surrounded my people that doesn't care the halal/haram, the compulsory lovingly 5 daily prayers, professionalism, negativity, and dunya-oriented. My heart always feel unsettling since the last time. I guess bowling is fun just not the environment around it.
Wedsnesday was muharram. First day of a new Hijri. I went out for a coffee meet up session with coach. Kid you not I was hella nervous. My expectation >> just let me survive this. I didn't even notice my anxiousness until coach pointed out. I noticed I was feeling nervous and scared. My fingers was shaking. Like this person gonna make my brain naked which is boom. The session was overall nice, normal coachee-coach sesh. Just after I was able to collect myself back after, this person feels a little off for me, I didn't feel safe. Coach definitely pull quite a few psychological tricks on me. So I decided to not take the coaching now. Ahh. Love the hot latte btw.
Just a few keywords from the conversation to ponder..
Aib.
Size.
Glasses.
Explore.
Confidence vs self-esteem.
How young.
Coach vs teach.
Adhd, dyslexic.
Abang,adik.
No judgment.
Thank you, coach.
TGiaH
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