Sarang is Blind? A new splint.

Guess another me marathonning another show. Kinda. I just wanna know the ending. So yeah I finish Love is Blind: UK on Tuesday. I have to say that's the only Love is Blind I find interesting. One thing I needed to see which made me kinda binge watching (but I kinda open google on other things so then it spoilt as I could guess) is post 1 year from the show. The Dynamics. It's interesting, sad, happy, realistic how it was that then, then here now. These are real people. The growth. Part and parcel of life.

Somehow my period didn't come on Wednesday but Thursday (I thought that morning it's not gonna come). Though I do feel as if it had come. Do you know what I'm saying? Haha. After my OT appointment (new splint, seeing the strength of a mother with a disabled adult), got back home went straight into finishing up my CPC report. I'm like girl, this is definitely not a first day period thing I do. But fast forwarding to today, I finished it. Along with the presentation. I had this really tick off the box morning today, went for a walk at Saujana Hijau, pick up a matcha latte, hang my clothes and after shower, I did my makeup. Haha. Weirdly feeling like it, cause of the upcoming dinners. I have to say thought I like makeup made me look put together, I don't like the feeling my skin can't breath. Ahh. I thought I could squeeze in for a kenduri. But grateful I didn't, cause from 10.40am, I finish at 1.40pm. Haha. Then, back at checking and touches at 4.30pm. I wanted to nap, but before I could I look up the forecast and pick up my clothes along with late lunch. So there's that, today. Sooo. I'm writing before 6, as I feel I wanna get off my laptop for today. So at night, perhaps a little colouring?

Saturday, late start. I needed sleep. I guess period sleep. So after that, doing stretches. Lots of reading than on my phone, which made me feel something. Better but I don't know what. Just life without screentime is better. So then, locum before 5. Paid off my zakat and everything else this week. I'm grateful for rezqi of monthly suefficient salary. Thoughts of owning a house and also how I wanna think of my car if I get tetap at Sabah Sarawak. Hmm.

Work weekend,

TGiaH

A rough start, a mildly anxious end.

This week start on monday, morning at work fuhhh. Certainly not one of the most ideal, getting accused then emotional person with emotion equipped punches (words). But certainly, I'm proud of most part of handling it well (just the crying bit I regret). Solution focused, mentally heads on, clear of myself, trusting myself and conscious empathic perspective. Though in hindsight (the next day), it's really should not be a problem I had to take responsible action for. Fuhh. I guess that's life.

Really tired the first two nights ccm phone alarm was on. Haha. I needed sleep. With post-district 21 tiredness, then monday night class. Thursday, trying to start my day on maghrib. Interesting concept worth trying. A ball of cries on friday night. Well, the next day to Tapah which such as enjoyable trip, and spending time with the fam. Then, today just giving myself a day in resting with Love is Blind UK which I really think how the western world kinda assimilate our traditional belief, approaching someone for marriage (taaruf). Interesting how it goes. 

No coughing this week Alhamdulillah. Just a little weird where I fall asleep in a minute, but sounds coming up from my mouth. Hmm. This week comes with challenges, taking into view ahh this is how I handle things, I'm proud, I'm growing, trying I'm me. Anyhow, today has the low tide of anxious. Just a little bit more than subtle, still quite subtle. A patient got the wrong med. I just deeply hope it's not me. One is enough. Please.

Hard prayers,

TGiaH

A time @District 21

This weeek is bu-seyy. Haha. Monday, post work rush to go my first darussyifa' class. Andd I have to say I like my time during the class. I took notes, I payed attention. I was able to put off my gamings I finish off the game at 1 in the morning. Khalas. I played a bit more on Tuesday. I cut it off (uninstall) on Thursday work. Other than that, Monday was the big visit from the vip. Somehow the assist thought I didn't wear a mask at the methadone room. Nu-uh. Ohh. I arrived home with a notice to cut off our water supply. Somehow our water bill double than before which is weird considering no leaking. I hope my father prioritize Air Selangor to check our metre. I did paid the big amount though. Huhu. 

Thursday, I did my last coaching session with one of my coachee (whose a participate too). Actually I just remembered I didn't do my CPC3 so I just did it. Haha. Then, Friday a farewell feast also an extended shift. Patient was continuous but okay. One point is I'm happy my senior pf appreciates continuous learning which made me feel happy too. I'm also happy I was able to drop her off her house. Ahh. The location is such perfection. Though, I am at times nervous around her but oh well. Also, another is sharing things about umrah and differences in mazhab with kak Z, I hope it broaden her horizon. 

I had to come at Saturday for scrubbing + pest control. Alhamdulillah, I was abled to do an arrangement beforehand to come at 9, while kak A come earlier. I got in the extra needed sleep. Then, jeng jeng my coworker F has come to work until 9.37am where they asked in the group. I thought he came even a little late. I was bored and didn't want to idle my phone so yeah this lady decide working is better use of me, so I jump to help call his wife and cover him up which in turns somehow a full cover shift. Haha. 

As for today, I had the time to do strecthes and chill late breakfast, before rushing over to the team building at District 21 with the wrong shoes. I had fun with the team building. First, name then cheers. Haha. Durian. First free fall which others volunteer first while we stand on one foot! Then, the maze ohh I so proud of myself though I have the five to seven medium to small bruises on my left leg+knee, one on my right, two scratches also on my leg and a bump below to bruises. Haha. I know it was very possible because we were in a rush. Then, the trampoline. That's a tough one. Balancing the little ball. The then 10 building blocks ohh we need better strategy. But we did it! Lastly, tubby ride which is a slide with round lifebuoy thingy. I decided to not go as I imagine the risk when my left hand lets go. Better be safe than tumbling down, frightening everyone. Anddd we got second place. Alhamdulillah. One point difference.

After that, I had to try the roller glider which I'm grateful for the experience. Eventhough, my hand didn't cooperate I was in rather safe. I feel sorry for the staff for in case I was making them worry of the work. I took off safely with a hand 'cramp' but yeah. I hope in a way Allah blessses them in one way or the other for giving this girl with cp to experience this one chance to this excitement. The ride back home with the soreness, I can't be lesser than grateful. Thank you Allah for the chance. I also did a free fall. Not mention losing one shoe and my specs also going to a free fall. Haha. A first at NakNak which I feel the gochujang chicken is nothing much, then Madam Croffle for yesterday's pay.  Trying to find in RM11-19 range. A first of many this week, with ever grateful for these. Alhamdulillah.

Dinner off with leftover Naknak,

TGiaH

Redirection

Alhamdulillah for pay day. Though this week, I think learning that my money is only what Allah lent to me is a thing. Ikhlas perlu dipelajari. Through and through. From L, sadly he didn't get in mara schloarship this round. I was heartbroken seeing him sleeping next to his sajadah. Because I know the pain of letting go a dream. Yet, there's still ways for him. I pray he gets the best scholarship for him and gets to study in the UK. For the company, I'm praying still. Hmm. Sleep coughing is painful. Huhu. The  nikmat of a good quality sleep. 

I had my car serviced on tuesday. I had a nothing much day that day. Though I do have things I forgot. Then thursday I had kwsp, friday (a coach session which is more of a catch up session with F). Oh weds I did have an online coach briefing post work. So yeah, this girl don't get that much time to rest. So Alhamdulillah for tuesday. Though somehow I'm kinda into searching my to relax thing which this week is gaming and scenetic stories. So post registring for darussyifa' classes (which why my name is still not on whatsapp?), my payback rest is gamig. Yeah I should've slept right away post locum yesterday and I planned to, but it is what is. Though I do feel urgh need more self control.

Yesterday also got kenduri family angkat which is nice. Nice my coworker texted me first and sweet video with H. Ooohhh. Also, my tapak kasut totally tercabut when going on stage. Ahaha. Cinderella things. And need to mention already started ccm oncalling, so praying all is well and easy for it. No messing my rest and outside working hours please. Aamiin.

I'm gonna continue gaming,

TGiaH.

The week after umrah

Really a week has past since I'm back. A lot of I would say change or just eally an roller coaster. While, I got extremely sick the fajr Monday. Haha. Really non-stop mucus from the nose and just cough. Still, I went to work andd appointment the afternoon. Night was rough. Alhamdulillah, I decided to take care of myself the tuesday and got a mc and checkup. Alhamdulillah all clear. The x-ray and blood counts. Still, I decided to work on Wednesday. Talking about responsibility huh. I've got my period in midday. Surprise that I'm not too surprised. Also, surprising I've got into the bathroom right early in time. I decided to on the antibiotics mainly cause I was reminded of the 2 white dots near my arm during my umrah which gone right when I got back (fearing might be pus, so better clear out the infections right). 

Thursday, I guess nothing much except I was on my last page for my home journal. So yeah, Friday after contemplating the muji books (cause I've the pens), I went on with the bookshop near my workplace. Mainly because it's cheaper. While still ticked off the criteria of ring binding and acceptable cover (though I think quite cute). I'm really planning on saving as much so I'm trying to be in save mode like I was in my student era and get back into tracking. The main reason is I'm aiming to help clear my family debts as much as I can (mainly my fathers). During umrah, my mother really stressing over the business and debts. Also my father pre-umrah. Kind of my source of stress during that time, and really pushes me to make doa and figuring out a way out. So yeah. I passed out of Friday near 7, when I off my phone to make last hour Jumaah doas. 

After almost 12 hours, I was up. I missed my last night antibiotic dose! So the morning, super nice I've got into extended clinic work which I enjoyed working with someone I haven't work before. Surprisingly he's friendlier than I expected and the shift was not so busy, just in between, so yeah nice. Back at home, got into lunch and rest then quick nasi before going 4.35pm to locum. The night I forgot my dose also. Allahu. Perhaps I forgot because I had to cook indomie kaldu ayam cause rice is finished. I was contemplating on chilling late night family mart dinner before home. But in my head again, save money. The frugality somehow feels familiar and secure. Kinda like comfort too. 

Sunday today, got back into locum. Though sale for me was slow, in the shop was therapeutic. I like my locum job. Though I need to up my game. During the night and morning, I really headbutt on my mother on psychological manipulation. Her reaction makes me go allahu. But well, I don't expect people to change just better boundaries. I know better now. After lunch, I know there has been delayed for a discussion on the business so after asr. I need rest and reset my emotions baseline. The discussion I think bought clarity just now I am really praying for a massie business buyer as plan. Aamiin. Also, for a prolong peace between my parents. Aamiin. I'm grateful for myself, for being brave, for getting to know myself, how to handle myself, for investing in knowledge I have for myself. I just really pray for no debts for my parents, my family and my generation. 

Slight rain, so big prayers.

TGiaH

Umrah alone but not quite

Assalamualaikum there. I'm back. Last week me no post but that's a given cause I've been away for 2 weeks for my umrah. It's been 55 ish hours I'm here since I landed at 3.10pm jumaah. Weirdly but perhaps not so much weirdly I'm in my recovering post trip phase. Yesterday was a major sleep sleep, today's I'm like half-sick (if that's even a thing) so like half sleep. I feel better when I do a bit of work not too much though. I'm not ready to work tomorrow though I know I need it. 

I feel a little scared and nervous for tomorrow. Sadly but truthfully, umrah was like a big escapee from this world here, the distance I need but no other practical action I did other than doa. So hence the feelings. But the reality of this world I need to do actions to solve it with guidance of doa. This world is certainly tough. All I did there was go back and forth to masjid, definitely push my limits at madinah. Makkah has it owns charms though I did 3 umrahs, it's not a rush to go an hour before. Where you pray, early or late really depends on how Allah arranges it for you cause of the line, the queues, the doors. One umrah I did after a night hiking up Jabal Nur which was insane how the next day our feet were perfectly fine. 

This umrah, I was in better shape than the last. No cracked lips except a small tear in my first few days then just melecet sikit on one of my small toes after my third umrah I think. Being there, just to and back the masjid, in the room for food and cleaning up, time certainly went by too fast I didn't have time to do other things. Even journaling, mostly on the bus. My down time was in taif. I'm really grateful for my umrah because from what I see what I prayed for most part (just one part in madinah I can't go to mosque alone but I'm sure it comes with rewards for intention to help others). The hotels was near, food was great which weirdly I think my tummy half misses it. Anyhow, I cooked a half porridge for me with chicken stocks, eggs and daun ketumbar. 

Barely shopped except for laban. Did a little shop in taif. I found the indomie my dad ate during their stay. Can't find it any other places. Haha. A honeycomb, zabib, walnuts and that's it. I bought konafetto off of shoppee and praying mats. I spent my cash on ziarah and on others. So I still have half my riyals with me. 

I'm having the sniffles since asr oh well. 

Bismillah for tomorrow,

TGiaH

In a rush

Literally am in rush. 5 minutes max. Still half-clothes, writing this. Just when I wear my hijab, I probably be done. My flight to umrah day. Allahu. Still macam oh day hari ke. I'm feeling a bit rush especially after my dua book was delayed. Alhamdulillah done on fajr today. Just a little bits left. Breakfast don't forget! I feel not as emotional about this whole thing like when before I was booking the umrah and this past fews days, missing my fam. Probably good as I don't wanna cry at the airport. Ahh. I have to mention the thursday during family gathering, it does feel like wey I'm really going to umrah alone. All in all, Allah please protect me and make this an easy, beautiful journey for me.

I'm coming oh Allah,

TGiaH