Taarufing. Will this even end? Mid Ramadhan.

Idk how to say. I thought today was gonna be the last day of my misery. But Allah says other wise. Huhu. Sampai hati Allah seksa ana camni. All in Allah's plan. I was hoping he spared me a few minutes of his time. Again, who am I? Tingling of my old friend, pain. Allah forgive me. Idk still either this continues or end 

1 ramadhan & I'm my 17th juz. Alhamdulillah. Had a facial at cuura this week and iftar with F. Had a family iftar on my mother's side here at our house, officiated the vietnamese coffee at midnight. But well, I went in to sleep early cause I worked today. Work was nice Alhamdulillah.

Raamadhan is nearing the end. Ahh. It's gonna be nice.

Allah, direct to what's good for me,

TGiaH

Taaruf? Okay lahh. Depressed + tired. A night over the police station.

Who says taaruf-ing is fun? Well, this week I'm depressed and tired. Took a few days gap between chating though everything I initiate. He does sambut though and still quite consistent with his replies. So yeahh. 1 week left. 7 days count down to the end.

Been talking to Allah a lot, how tired and exhausting the process is and how I wish the person is sincere too and have the same intentions, values, goals etc. But yeahh, life not that easyy.

Ibu got into an accident last jumaah. Thought nothing serious until my sis told she's bleeding (lips), shoot I took off from the office. Ibu was okay (Dr checked), a night over at the police station, morning at the police station. Worked both saturday & sunday. Lots of sleep. And yeahh tomorrow's monday.

Tadarus Qu'ran count: Juz 7. Ramadhan Day 11.

Allah, help me.

TGiaH

What is the point of taaruf-ing? Welcoming Ramadhan 1444H.

Hmm. Feeling a little glum. What is the point of taaruf-ing when I feel like the guy has little interest in me or in marriage. Yet I still give this a month out of consideration of the family. A marriage needs a sincere guy not just a sincere lady. Am I being sincere? Yes, in my intention. 

This time around, the taaruf being mostly neutral with a few moments of excitements/nervous, depending on the conversation. Do I feel positively about this? I don't think so. Just a friend. I feel. I don't know much (more like anything) about him as a potential candidate. Hmmm. Ahhh. Malas.

2 weeks left to this taaruf. We'll see then. Whatever Allah knows best.

Forgive me for every sin I commited/didn't ya Allah.

Raamadhan has come again. Alhamdulillah I'm blessed to live during another Ramadhan. Wedsnesday night was the first night. After tarawikh which felt so short, I recited like until early juz 3, then eh I'm on my period. Wippee. Haha. Anyhow, our family is blessed with a full family circle for iftar. Alhamdulillah. Having everyone here is a blessing.

Let's roll in bed, shall we? Well.. After house chores,

TGiaH

Navigating taaruf the second

He made an effort to contact first on Sunday which is nice. However, he is not thinking of taaruf so kinda a bummer. So... At this point, I know to be safe that I probably not gonna last long with him. 

One day, I find a serious-relation taking guy, In Shaa Allah.

Saturday, first time meeting Mel at KL. Uwah. Talk as if we've known for some time. Ramadhan coming tomorrow's night and I should really refocus the vibes of a really special month's coming. Hehe. I'm a bit excited.

Oh and todayyy, I'm finally free of my P license. Alhamdulillah.

Locum-ing,

TGiaH

Navigating taaruf-ing.

I'm being introduced to another guy. I feel grateful & a bit happy that another family acknowledges me. Though, I've been dealing with my anxious attachment (though just a lil) and my parents marriage anxiety. I really hope they understand I'm at a place that I'm being content with my life now and I'm searching for a spouse because that what's Allah tells us to do and because it's our fitrah which I'm 100% (almost certain) that I will at the right time to a wonderful amazing spouse & family. Andd I'm gonna be an amazing pious righteous obedient loving supportive understanding wife & dedicated mother. Aamiin. 

Waiting,

TGiaH

My first gold medal + thinking about life

These past 2 weeks wow. So much has happened yet there so little time for me to wind down and process thigs. 

Learning about people, learning about myself. Prompts of my relation with Allah. Got me thinking what m ideal life looks like. A mixture of working hard + travelling + in between breaks with myselfs alone and sometimes the people I love. The right acuan? Ratio? I not know yet. Ahh. A little of writing + vid/pic-documentary of myself. 

Recognising soft toxic traits of others. Like the one hurt my effort towards bowling when I was so proud of achievement. 

Pharmsport and vietnam was so much fun.

Despite the little bumps of my car's accident and breakdown, Allah gave me chance to enjoy through the above events with so much content. I feel so grateful for it. 

Instagram's been my travel + food documentary, something I can look back.

2023 travel update.

Jan - Pekan

Feb - Vietnam

Mac - Kuantan

Sipping my matcha latte from Dyslexic cafe,

TGiaH

Vietnam luxury

 Writing this on my way to pharmsport. Hopefully, a good scored game. Aamiin. 

Vietnam was heaven. Loved the trip so much. Enjoyed. I was soaking the sight, culture, the vibes. 

I probably have to write this later. Mabuk jalan. 

Day 1 - got in almost when gate close, first vietnam lunch, hcm mosque, disco bathroom, night in dalat.

Day 2 - banh + kari, clay tunnel adventure, roller coaster, crazy house, aimee dalat shopping, flower garden, train station + night market

Day 3 - 5 morning to muine, a breathtaking mountain breakfast, white + red sand dune, fast furious jeep ride, night in hcm

Day 4 - mekong river; coconut, honey, traditional dance + song, luxury bags, coffee mosque

Day 5 - brekkie & shopping, a run to flight home, safe land

Ahh. I miss travel so much. Soaking in the goodness in every cell. 

Hmm. I cant help feel jealous of a travel agents life. Seeing her go to Vietnam again. Bestnyaaa. Nak gakk. Though I miss my work a bit, just a bit. I loved travel more. I miss my routine more. 

Yesterday, my car got into breakdown. Hmm. I was in verge of crying. Oh dear car. Please, stay alive & healthy for me. My poor abah, please org tu byr kereta abah cepat2. Kesian kereta abah.