Changes that happened to me - Being at blur and daze

 I try to keep on writing every week even though I don't know what to write. I feel a bit at a blur sometimes. Not in tune with anything. I certainly do feel happier at the hospital with S and now E joining the crew. We had late lunch together and went out to Friday lunch together. S searching for me to just tell her story was just so happy for someone to do that to me. I feel I have friends and people who need me. Something I realised now I didn't have at the clinic.

My family & I went for a dinner at the Pakistani restaurant yesterday. I got to talk a lot in the car and it feels like I certainly do miss the talks especially with my sister. Thursday was hari Malaysia and guess what this week requirement went so well and we decided Thursday is our day off and the whole weekend Alhamdulillah.

I feel that pang of sadness when I see that person and how the person treats others but me differently. I hope it goes away. I really do. I'm worth much more than this. I do.

3 days off,

TGiaH

The 1 month mark (hospital attachment)

One month has passed. This week was good. Made new friends. I feel happy at work though stress is non-nego. The Thursday DD indent day was super busyy. But also the sweetest day. The first time I saw the hospital store and red newborns. My heart just went aww.

Me & my twin. Im really glad, grateful I have her. Hopefully next week is better, so I can get the Thursday off!

On the phone,

TGiaH

Merdeka at hospital.

 Sleepy. Basically I work from Sunday until Saturday this week. Chasing counseling for logbook. Overall, I'm grateful for this week. Manage to go to kk on Friday. Farewell food for Cik A & kak F whom coming to HPJ. Last week, I did went to Alamanda to the book store. It revive me weirdly.

Still need to fold my clothes.

Sleepy sa,

TGiaH

First week hospital attachment

 Alhamdulillah, this week was my first week for hospital attachment. You know what? It's been so smooth Alhamdulillah that I kept saying Alhamdulillah. I hope the future weeks are also like this. I'm still behind a bit for screening and counselling but hopefully I can catch up with the upcoming weeks. Ya Allah, I really hope I can complete my logbook. I meet S, who I can get along quite well. And J being so helpful with us too. 

This weekend was a bit of a drama. I left the group chat because I know it's the right decision for disciplining myself and avoiding the triggers that make me sad. Now, I need to make a new healthy routine for myself which includes writing my journal. I really need some self focusing activities. I need more self-love. And minimise kpop, please? I have to brain wash myself again. 

I need to pump up some adrenaline with some exercise and tidy my cluttered room back.

Tata,

TGiaH

A 7 hours long class + Grocery shopping alone.

 I'm super lazy to write and guess what the sigma class has a 7 hours long class. Aigoo. Just have way through it. I managed to get my usual work done, clean the desk and sheets. Ahh I can't wait for Muharram's holiday next Tuesday. My body doesn't feel that good macam angin. I ate durian & cempedak uite a bit plus feeling sleepy from it. Doing work makes me feel better.

I went aeon alamanda last Thursday. I guess I'm a grown up now shopping groceries on my own. But carrying the heavy groceries are not fun. Huhu. My arms was sores until yesterday. Did I mention I got meninggococcal vaccine the Friday? Oh and this week there's a new prp in. I hope I taught him well. A week left until my hospital attachment. Yikes!

Gotta go maghrib,

TGiaH

Opps. I miss 2 blog updates.

 It's August already. Phew. I'm scared. This week was the last for my DIS attachment. Oh boy, this week was a roller coaster. With going back & forth Bangi cause one my housemate is quarantine-ing and then suddenly one the staff is positive to the stress of handling UMP. To being okay then down. Feeling upset about prp A until today. My body is feeling like a slump. And I still wish weekends are longer.

Some noticeable incidents this week:

- the lady with no fingers

- one young pt in his twenties and one old patient is 70s just got their anti-htn meds

Reflection: The gift of health & jodoh.

I just wanna go lay down,

TGiaH

A small gesture

I wanna be in bed. Just wanna say thank you to whom yang said hi to me when I'm a bit down. Thank you.