A Date + Overcoming My Fear

I decided to not write yesterday as I felt tired after a trip out eating with my friend (a staff at FN). Her words was jom dating. Haha. Alhamdulillah, I'm grateful of having friends, good people. Thought post trip, I did reflect a lot on my verbal skills. I hope I improve more and grow more mature in my selection of words and tone over time.

I thought of staying in bed early and sleep early. Instead I ended staying up later than usual. I was taking in my fears and talking to Allah about it. It was torturous but I got a lot off my chest which was the whole purpose of it. I don't remember the last time I cried so hard that my face was drench. Haha. I still feel down and worse when my teacher suddenly call talking about my driving test. (Writing the previous sentence gave me the scares just now.) Anyhow, I did some journaling before I started blogging. (I read back again and it gave my so much strength). The journal entry was positive, fearless. Describes how my life is under Allah's control. He is my rabb, my lord, my khaleq. And how I'm able to overcome this. 

What's the purpose of fear? Putting that question and remembering the answer gave my strength. Reminded me of how positive and strong I usual was. Slowly I can build up my threshold again. Biiznillah.

I can, indeed I can. No doubt.

TGiaH

Watching Wall-E

Today I cooked a dish for my family. It is one of those nothing barely in the kitchen but turns out yummy kinda dish which Alhamdulillah made me so so happy. I also helped with some orders and cleaning as usyal.

These days I'm into this Harry Potter kinda games which is so cool because it's like an adventure. Oww how I wish sometimes I can experience that kind of wizardry awesome world. Anyhow it's that kind of game that we have to wait longgg to go to the next chapter which Alhamdulillah is good as it curbs my gaming appetite.

I aldo found out that making a mini to do list the day before helps me a lot the next day. Like I actually look forward and find my life meaningful. Hehe. 

Another thing I did today is that I watched Wall-E. I actually wanted to watch Fantastic Beast but taught I should probably save it for another day. Anyhow, I vaguely remember the first and last time (before this round) was during my year 6 primary school school festival. I remember being so excited and emotional over it. Other than that, I don't really remember. 

Watching it again after almost 13 years, this movie has so many things I could learn. Like how life must've been with Wall-E on his own (this hits me because it made me so single), the whole romance is so ughh cute and innocent from this I reminded of the movie The Passenger. It is important isn't it to have a life partner? Another is how important work is for us. Like ughh sitting around no need chewing, walking of sorts? Leaving us with bunch of overloaded fats. Hence, I am grateful for working.

Anyhow, I submitted another resume. If it's the best, Allah knows either way.

So singleee,

TGiaH

P/S: I just remember today's Valentine. Lol. After looking at Instagram.

Virtual convocation?

Today something funny happened. IIUM announce a virtual convocation for us but suddenly saying the announcement was a mistake. Lol. I don't how I really feel about a virtual convocation. I think I feel fine or a bit relieved because I don't like going up the stage or having to pose for pictures. I just want some tulips. Lol. And feel how holding a robe & scroll feels. 

I guess there's little hope for a real convocation despite having the survey to postpone. Anyway, Allah knows best. Having me finishing my studies in pharmacy is soo a miracle which I should always be grateful and thankful. Alhamdulillah.

I decided to apply for a job. I'm kinda positive I'll get in. But again, Allah plans whatever it will be the best. I'm so feeling monotonous these past few days except Friday where I was hype up having interview and yesterday from meeting the staffs from FN. 

I'm suddenly reminding of my father's health. Sometimes it seems it would be counting days judging from his overworked body. Idk if I'm ever ready for the time comes or I even doing a good job as a daughter. Sometimes I do feel pathetic. I wish there's much more I can do. But also I just feel I'm not doing my best.

Okay la. I should go.

Don't ever think you're not,

TGiaH

To work or not work.

It's one day before the last of January. Been one month since I stayed at home. I learned, I read, I rest, I take care of myself, and also been tidying, cleaning and organising more this past week. Tomorrow, I'll be cleaning my room and my monthly self cleaning. Lol.

I'm super proud of finishing more than 3 books this month. More because I focused more on self-development books. Also, I've been more consistent in my journaling which helps even a little.

I would love to get back to work but I'm a still a little cautious about my mental health. I want the money and time away from home. But I also kinda want something like work from home job. I like spending time in my room. But also, I find it super helpful to spend time outside in the sun. Did I mentioned I spend 30 miniutes of my evening outside reading on my Crema? Gosh. I love my ebook reader. It have been so helpful so far. 

I should probably get back on my Quran lesson tomorrow. I promised myself to do at least once a month. But I guess it's not very successful.

I cooked dinner just now. The air fryer is so helpful Alhamdulillah. I have been able to save time cooking. And it's also healthier. Hehe.

 I guess my purchase have been good investment In Sha Allah. Ahh. I should take note on making my purchases investment worthy. Nice!

January 2021,

TGiaH

MCO 2.0

So here's the big bang. Haha. I forgot to update. The results? My driving class & test got postponed which I expected. I accepted it as it as but tbh I am a little dissapointed. But I try to pujuk myself saying Allah knows best, he is the best planner. When the test comes, I definitely ace it In Sha Allah. That's why I have a bunch of time I've been a little lost on what I wanna do with it. I'm bored but I don't have a goal which is bad for me. Hence, I'm blogging. But also I realise I'm lazy. Huhu.

I guess that's that.

Pujuk,

TGiaH

My first gold & silver, my first investment.

 Actually at my last post I just ordered my first physical gold & silver. It's probably the only one I will own for a while since I'll be focusing more on my gold account (the gold is cheaper there). I did my research a bit though I hope I knew more. I think this is a good long term investment still with the inflation rate.

I fdid open a second account where I found a reputable syariah compliant company as well as have a better spread value. Also, it offers plans that perhaps I can gain a few dollars (short term gold investments). As I'm not working right now, I hope this serves as a source of income as well as a passive income when I'm working. I still need to my work of how gold works and things which made me dizzy with all the filler informations ><. But still it's a work in progress.

I have quite a number of things I need to purchase this month that why's I'm hoping my money is able to grow a bit. Anyhow, Alhamdulillah I'm glad I'm blogging.

A part of growing up,

TGiaH

Happy 2021

This year, is different. I didn't really feel the change of the year. Just the next day, next day and next. I haven't updated my vision board or setup my word of the year (I forgot what last year's was), my focus, resolutions and goals.

I've been busy resting (or maybe nesting in my habitat) and emerge in a class that helped me self -discover and grow. Alhamdulillah. I still haven't finish my class hopefully soon. Haven't finish adding the last touches to my resume and hadn't done my brain dump today. I haven't also finish reading the chapter in the book. I did quite a few things today though that perhaps I write down later.

I did some baking with my sister yesterday (just cake batik lol) and today everyone in my family is fasting. Alhamdulillah. Another thing recently I started to wanting an ebook reader which I hope what I'm gonna purchase is a good bargain In Sha Allah. 

Anyhow, I got to keep going (help pack the products).

Happy 2021, the 1st to many,

TGiaH