Revived.

Based on True Story.

Dear blog,

Today I'd felt like crying.

I don't know why.

I don't know how.

But let's just say.

Some small things trigger me to cry.

One after the other.

And...

After 2 o'clock is when I couldn't hold it any longer.

I went to the bathroom and cried.

But well, the bathroom stinks.

So I left.

I wanted a something. Something that only can released me

Release me from my fears, my burdens, my sadness.

I wanted solace.

So I took my wudhu' and went for the jemaah prayer at the musolla.

I cried a little during solah.

I cried a little during reading the Kahfi.

But I just had to hold back.

I couldn't let my feelings overwhelm me.

Just please Hold back a little longer heart.

Just until I finish my ibadah.

I wanted guidance. I wanted peace.

In my heart, I knew that only Him could give it. Only Him.

So I sat in the corner around the musolla.

Scrambling,
Juggling in my thoughts, I just sat, back facing the walls, my mouth puffed a sigh.

It's just too hard. Too hard. My mind said.

And then, I saw at the corner of my eyes, a paper written

"No one besides Allah can save a soul from Hardship."

My heart struck. Feelings overwhelm me.

The burden. The hardships. The stress.

Causing my tears to trickle,

Then, pouring down like rain gushing.

When I just settling back down.

A voice coming from my head reminds

"Why did try to find answer from other than Him? Trying to search solace other than Him? Trying to feel complete when you know the answer is Him. Him, the One and Only. Just believe in Him"

Those words.

It hit me.

With a smile.

Moments after that,

I walked to the bathroom to wash face.

And I walked out.

Back again to the musolla.

And a gush a wind hits me.

One after another.

I stand besides the wall.

This feeling.

Is just what I needed.

All my worries, my thoughts vanishes.

As the air pulsates through my veins and flew away with the wind.

And I look up at the sky.

I saw the beautiful blue sky and the fluffy white clouds.

With that, another smile planted.

Allah.

I saw it with my own eyes.

The clouds.

Forming the words of the Al-Mighty.

The One and Only.

Finally,
my feet started to leave quietly the place,
knowing
that
I feel
revived
again. :)

Sometimes, you just need to cry,

The Girl in A Hood.