Sweet couple.

 I'm writing this on the 2nd of December, but this happen on the 30th Nov.

Today I attended an old couple buying meds & supplements. They were so sweet to each other. The wife added a few purchases and joke about it. The husband joke back. It was a big purchase but the way they talk was so lighthearted. (It was a credit card, their child monitors) I commented on how I love seeing how sweet they are and asked for their prayers. They said life is about learning to let go. Certainly, something I keep in mind. 

Financially wise + no water

One of my biggest target before marriage is to be well equipped with financial knowledge. It's a necessity but still many fail to do. Having some sort of financial security reassure me, I have a backup plan. Seeing how the world evolves around money. Scary huh. But true. 

 It's scary but everything in this world is Allah's. Everything. (This is me trying to assure myself.) My mom is really stress out on our financial situation. She blaming my dad for all the debts, which is true. But I don't wanna cause anymore stress. Seeing how difficult communication is makes me scared of how difficult marriage is. Anyway, I'm grateful I have a job and it does help the family out a bit. In Sha Allah, I'm paying half of the water bills.

I know I blogged about this topic, but out of the many things. This one is on my mind now.

Anyhow, I need to get going & help cooking. Thanks.

Writing on my laptop with my phone's data,

TGiaH

Plateau

I don't know if I wrote the title right. Still, it's Mid Nov and I haven't written anything. 

The past week I realised, I was extremely stress and exhausted over my driving lessons. The mental stress drained a lot from me that the one most activity I did is sleeping like a lot. Which is fine. 

I journalled my thoughts last week hence why I forgot to blog. But reflecting why do I put so much pressure and stress so much over the affairs that Allah has absolute control over. Everything that happen Allah intend it to happen. Full stop. 

Simple. Still, why I am being like this. Although the side effect is waking up for tahajjud almost every day (and not waking up makes me feel bad). But I'm trying. I guess this is one of the plateau this 2nd half of the year.

Anyway, gotta go. Eat breakfast & help cooking!

Hmm, 

TGiaH

Self-discipline.

This month's theme I guess is to relearn myself and the past. As always there got to be something that needs to happen at the second half of the year that changes how I think of the year. 

So I learn I need more self-discipline and learning to put my lenience at the right place especially when talking to the opposite gender. I can't be too lenient with myself. Have control, focus on my purpose in this world. Being clear on my objectives. Choosing to do the right thing is hard. Owning up to it is hard. Accepting my thoughts are wrong is a process. Still, I'm proud of most choices I made. For the bad ones, owning yup it's my fault and I have to remember not to make the same mistake again.

Example yesterday, choosing to stay in bed and procrastinate thinking giving myself some time might be better which was wrong. I got up, got myself moving made me better and prevent myself from having a degrading moment at night for not being responsible. Choosing to tidy my room. tidy the kitchen, cook, practicing driving, finding a counselor, painting and now writing this down. 

Alhamdulillah, I was able to do all that.

Typing from my laptop at last,

TGiaH

The things I've learnt from (this incident).

 - You need a life partner. Face it S. No matter how much you want to live and stand alone, you need someone to lean on sometimes. Physically. Not just Allah spiritually. It's a gift for a flaw that Allah has created. 

- You are a immature blob S. Think first before you act. Discipline yourself. No matter how hard. 

- It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to cry. It's makes me think clearer & lifts a burden off me. Mistakes are there for me to learn. Learn to accept it. Forgive, learn & remember. Don't forget.

- Humans are complex beings. As how much I try to understand and see from the other person perspective. I'm not him/her and the person is not I either. Therefore, effort is still a must but prayers are as essential too.

- Allah always always help me & give me some sort of ease with every hardship either the obstacle is tiny or huge. It such a blessing to recognise it and being thankful. Alhamdulillah. 

Okay, gotta go. Already late.

Feeling better,

S

I'm trying.

I'm trying but it sometimes just sucks being me. I have to face every pain, sorrow, anxiety, fear while it's just a piece of cake for them. When will I grow up? Owning up my decisions.

I'm trying and I'm proud of trying my best. I'm doing my best at it. Don't let my guard down. Stay firm. I can do this. 

Night, 

little fighter.

Birth and death

 This is a post about yesterday. It was a great day Alhamdulillah. The morning we went on a jog & breakfast. I finished my driving studies and my mum cook all the food yesterday. Hehe. 

And today happens to be my friends birthday as well as her grandpa's ending. And another distant (i mac member) ending and the person also mentioned getting a newborn niece/nephew. 

Last week was also the same. A birthday and a death day. Three times already. Scary sometimes how Allah reminds of what our lives is and should be. Destined. A beginning. An end. A purpose.

Anyway, I have to nap a bit before work. Bye!

Endings are never certain,

TGiaH