Everything that comes from Him, will return to Him.

*in tears*
I open my WhatsApp, ten minutes ago saying to myself I should check my phone more often.

My family group chat:

My father said that Aiko is in critical condition before 9.

Seeing that WhatsApp, I called my father saying that is it fine to tell H about her now? It's probably gonna affect him a lot because Aiko is much reason of his happiness and he's always asking how is she when she's away instead of us. I know it's funny but.. Haha.

And my father said..

She's gone.

Just a while ago.

In the car.

They (Abah+Ibu+I) bringing her to the clinic this morning but it wasn't opened yet. They went to do some errands and found that she's already dead.

I hold back my tears on the phone, even on the brink. The call ended, and the build-up tears fall from my eyes.

I'm so grateful that Allah gave me a chance to be with her on my recent break while giving me clues that her time was near. I got told off by I for telling him that she has might have little chance so take care of her but I just want them to treat her while they still can.

I'm sorry for H because he couldn't meet her before she's gone. His holiday is in another week. I'm sorry too for Aiko for not being able to always treat her well when she's sick for long.

Thanks Aiko for being the reason of our laugh, our joy, our complains for the surprises you giving to us. Thank you for being you that is: the moody cat who wants to do her own stuff, to the one who clingy for all attention. The cat that can do all sorts of gymnastic yoga movements. The so confident cat who struts on the street for all the male cats to see. The demanding cat that wants to eat baby food and drink water from our cups. You're such a baby and a queen. You know it. Haha. Thank you for being beside us when we do our jamaah prayer & zikr. Thank you for more than the 4 years memories. May Allah bless you.

Best prayers,

The Girl in A Hood

I forgot I have class!

Seriously, how on earth did I thought counselling class was on Wednesday instead of today?? 

Really.

I feel so freaking bad that I'm getting stressed out here.

I know it's just a skill class but it's different from choosing not to go to class(which I never unless really needed) and missing the class.

All I can do is calm down, zikr, calm down, zikr.

You didn't do it on purpose. Your phone was on low, you couldn't check your phone, so you unintentionally forget. 

This happens to everyone so don't freak out. 

Play it cool, okay?

Missing 1 class, is not gonna lose your marks. 

Probably should not have said that.

Chill, just chill.

You got this.

Happy 1st post for April. Lol.

The Girl in A Hood

Starting Qur'an journaling//notes or actually trying to XD

We had a Friday off! So Alhamdulillah for that! Because we rarely do get Friday off. But it's like 30 minutes before today ends. So huhu for that.

I'm writing here basically talking what I spent my time today.

Timeline:

6.20 a.m: Miss tahajud. :(

10.50 a.m: Woke up after sleeping back at 8. 

11.30 a.m: Instant noodles.

12.30 p.m: Drafting my Qur'an Journal - Al-Fatihah from Daily Qur'an Lessons by Ustadha Taimiyyah Zubair (link here).

5.30 p.m: Bought myself Mocha as an early treat. Lol. 

7.40 p.m: Basically just finish the notes.

9.30 p.m: Washing my clothes. *feeling extremely extremely exhausted + start wondering about the Palestinian kids who haven't eaten for days because I was so hungry*

10.00 p.m: Dinner.

11.30 p.m: Blogging.

The story here is that probably last Tuesday I guess I watch a video on Youtube with Aliza Kim on it (I really don't know she exists before this. I like her already! She speaks my heart. Lol.). And somehow I found out about the Daily Qur'an Lesson on her channel (which I love as well!). So with much motivation to learn about the Qur'an and my artsy side who just woke up from hibernating, very excited me can't wait to start to do this!! Buuuttt doing notes taking loads of time! Huhu. Really. And I feel famish by the end of it. But the good side is that, I think I'm starting to get the hand of it. Also on the good side, I concentrate better in my solat today! I would love to do it again. But let's see.

And.. Now I'm eyeing on Zebra Mildliners to make my notes complete. *money flying (probably back to me. I'm so lame at jokes)*

2 minutes later.. Peeking inside the book, feeling so proud of myself. So me. *roll eyes*

Pray for me to be istiqmah & make time for this!

The Girl in a Hood

The Tale of 6 Mice.

We had our CNS lab yesterday.We had to deal with mice where this time around is not so pleasant thing to do.. Because we had to test their pain tolerance with and without analgesic. Physical and chemical pain by putting them on hot plate & injecting with acetic acid. Poor creatures. :( I was trying to be gentle with them, but in the end two of them died (not because of mishandle but rather some of us probably feed them wrongly (needle feed to trachea). I went to the restroom and back with one pale dead & put in the beaker. Poor mouse nmbr 1. But it was not us the feed or inject the mice though... Weird. Another thing was the mice that died were limping (we noticed around the time we inject acetic acid). It must have been miserable for them. Seeing them holding their pain in. My friends says I'm like 'mama' for the mice. But I really think that the mice are a little nicer to me than the others. I still remember poor mouse nmbr 6, who bleed which the injection should not have done that. I saw mouse 3 breathing it's last breath, I thought for a second it was gonna be alive after a stroke & talk to it. Then, a few minutes later starting breathing again & moving. But I know it's end has come anyways. :(

To all the mice I tend yesterday, thank you for the chance. :)

Inna lillahi wainna ilaihi rajiun.

The Girl in a Hood

P/S: I got his SPM's results today. It's sad seeing my brother is like that. He needs to up his spirit again.

Pathophysiology of Sin

Tonight there's this Biah Solehah Campaign opening ceremony which there was a talk given by Dr Che An called "Pathophysiology of Sin". Sounds so typically scientific. I didn't go to the talk with the thought that I catch up with studying. Which I did. Kinda.

But being me, I was distracted by the Internet (but I still I can still finish this one Anti Cancer lecture. Btw, I finished one the afternoon before.). So IPhA put the talk on FB live & surprisingly it was very nice talk. I smiled & laughed during the talk even it was supposed to be serious. But still, I learned a lot.

And then a few moments later, I clicked on an AA video titled "We all sin". Coincidence much hey. Which is why I decided to write my baby wondering thoughts.

We all sinned. Every single day. Just differently.

No body can escape this fact. We are all sinners. 

But what's the best thing is that we can make taubah & try again. 

Taubah, erase our sin. Ma Sha Allah, what a gift that is?

Try again. If we failed try again. Again & again.

We don't want syaitaan to win here, right? We want to go to Jannah, right? We want to be better, right?

For me, I have my own sins. No doubts. Some I try again and again to win the battle for years.

But trust it's worth it to never give up.

*Abah phone calls*

Self-reflect,

The Girl in a Hood

Saying 'I Love You To Your Siblings' Challenge.

When saying love you is so common in your family. Still you mean every single word. May Allah grant us jannah with the ones I love. Credit to AA Sisterhood for the challenge, I had fun reading the comments!

Uhibukafillah abadan abada habibi,

The Girl In A Hood

20 ml of blood :O

So the Monday 18th Feb 2019, we had to go to the hospital for our Hep C & HIV Screening. Can't imagine if we are found to have any of those, our career is long gone. But it's an STD, so it's not likely possible.

We went by S's car which early (we were supposed to arrive at 4 but arrived way before that). None of our friend were there (said so we were the earliest). So originally they had to take only 8ml of our blood (4 for each test), but because of the Schizophrenia thing, they took an additional 12 ml.

The needle stuck so long in our arms!! But Alhamdulillah it was only once. Phew.

So that's that. And interestingly, Y & R both got their period a week late. Hrmm.

Gotta chow. Sleepy.

The Girl in A Hood